Things non 2+2'ers/Ballers/Poker Players Say That Tilt You

[The_Taj]

'I'm and equity analyst'

haha that's hella funny, def gonna use that next time asked about my job

[Chump Change]

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My mom is a total fish in this [censored] and doesn't understand it one bit. Playing 8 tables is reason for rehab and getting coolered is proof thats its all just luck.

mom: You know he's sitting at his computer saying that he could have just as easily been the one with a pair of aces.
me: ok thats fine...he's not taking my money with them when I have 94o.
mom: well isn't he just as likely to get that hand as you are?
me: yea...at least you know some elementary statistics
mom: well its all luck then since you'll be on the other end of it as much as he is
Then I shove 52o because I'm tilted as [censored] and suckout thus proving that its all luck


Trying to explain how long it takes to get an accurate winrate.
me: Well, a couple 100k hands is enough to reach the long term.
mom: You mean you want to play a hundred thousand hands? Thats gonna take you like a lifetime. You need to quit and do something productive. If you don't have anything better to do then I have some chores.
me: umm no, plan on doing it this summer if you stfu and stop tilting me.

Trying to explain that poker is a positive EV gamble if you're any good.
me: well, lets say you were to flip a coin with someone and everytime you won you got $1.05 and everytime you lost you lost $1.00 (small numbers zomg good pschology). You would take that bet for infinite time since you'll make a good profit in the long-term, right?
mom: well no...I would never take that bet. Its too easy to lose a couple hundred dollars and then keep spending money you don't have. Thats what happens to people with gambling problems you know? They get sucked in and spend money they don't have on games of luck.
me: well, yea sometimes you lose, but thats why we have bankroll management and if you flip enough you'll start winning again.

How the [censored] is she smart enough to understand that you could have an almost infinite downswing on a +EV gamble and not understand that if its +EV and I have the bankroll then I should take it because I'm much more likely to show a profit?

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Well... You're mom's probably dumb, dog. Though you could explain it better.

[SZEppi]

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This thread has happened like 230232820 times before,

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And I say it every thread: All of you should be grateful for having these interactions, cuz they are the perfect intelligence test. If a person engages you and you explain it properly (<--this is also key) and they don't get it within 2 minutes, [censored] em, they're morons.

Srsrly, maybe i'm getting the wrong impression but why do you guys surround yourselves with retards? There is nobody I know that doesn't understand how it works, and that's not luck.

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My mom's wicked smart, but she just chooses not to understand. Might have something to do with the fact that some relative three generations back had a gambling problem... Now it just is all the same to her.

[farmslicer7]

holy christ, just re-reading this forum puts me on life tilt...

[Kilillan]

also, why do korean people have such a huge thing against gambling, wtf is that.

[The_Taj]

Never EVER watch poker on tv with someone who doesn't play.

Especially not WPT because it's just an all-in fest and the person you're watching with will keep saying "see it's all just luck"

Also if someone folds a hand that was better than the hand that bet they'll say "HAHA WHAT AN IDIOT!, man i would be so good at this game!"

me thinking to myself: "yea it'd be easy if YOU COULD SEE THE OTHER PERSON'S CARDS DLFJDLFJDLKFJDLFJD"

so yea change the channel if you're with a retard lol

[IWEARGOGGLES]

Since when did you have 200k to lose?

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[_And1_]

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"If I gave you $50, could you run it up to $2k for me?!?!"

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winner. this life tilts me.

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this is just too sick, I bet 10+ people I meet regularly have asked me this.

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[TexRef]

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GF: No, I read an article about it somewhere a while back, blah blah vagina oprah woman crap blah

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A+++