My friend Scott

[ThaSaltCracka]

I received a call at 2pm Tuesday from my friend Craig. Generally I don’t answer my cell phone at work, but it was a slow day. I answer the phone and hear Craig’s voice weaving in and out. “John I don’t know how to say this, but this morning the police found Scott’s body in the parking lot of a school. It appears to be self inflicted.” I get up, my body shaking and walk outside still on the phone. I don’t know what to say, Craig is sobbing, not saying anything, nor I. My stomach feels like someone punched it, hard.

I stay outside for another half an hour. Calling a few friends, my Mom. But I know I can’t stay at work. I walk into my boss’s office, trembling and tell her I need to leave, my friends dead. The car ride back to my apartment was blurry. My eyes welled up and I was shaking the entire time.

I get home and my brother says “what are you doing here.” My only reply “Scott was found dead this morning.”

Needless to say, [censored] day.

I have spent the past 2 days doing whatever I can trying to keep my mind off of what happened. I am the type of person who over analyzes and worries about things to no end. I knew this would consume me if I didn’t occupy my time. I spent some time reading, watching TV, working on some projects, playing racquetball, even posting a few times on a message boards. If I don’t do something, I think back to the last time I saw him. Did anything stand out? Why would he do this? He seemed happy. Then I also put myself in the place right before it happened. Imagining what was going through his mind, what caused all this pain, to make him do this. Then I can’t help think about the actual event and it horrifies me.


I have been trying to figure out why this could have happened.

I think about all the good times we had. The time he hit a homerun on my [censored] company softball team. Going to all those M’s games. The one time I beat him at bowling. Golfing out at Ocean Shores. Building a beermid 5 feet high. Playing poker hundreds of times. Watching Family Guy DVD’s. Going to bars and having a great time. Scott was one of the best people to hang out with. Always laughing and telling jokes. Scott and I had been friends for almost 10 years, and I had so many great memories of those years.

I really don’t know what to feel. This has never happened to someone I know. But my emotions the past two days have ranged from shock, sadness, confusion, anger, and grief.

Why people do this I will never understand.

Scott and I were friends, and now he’s dead, and that [censored] sucks.


For those of you wondering why I posted this here, Scott was a member of this community, amongst many communities, and I thought those of you who had met him, and knew how great a guy he was, would like to know.

He'll be dearly missed.

[Autocratic]

Sorry, man. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] That's awful

[MattSuspect]

Ugg that sucks. I'm sorry John. What was Scotts name here? I know one I think you hung out with. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[guids]

My condolences.


My best friends from grade school commited suicide, the only advice I can give is the cliched, time is the only thing that will heal the feelings you are having now, and even though it never fully will, it does get easier. Trying to quit analyzing the situation is fruitless, you just have to do what you can to get by imo, and let any emotions you have do what they will.

[NT!]

this is terrible, sorry to hear it TSC.

[TruFloridaGator]

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Sorry, man. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] That's awful

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[miajag]

One of my sister's friends killed himself recently (oddly, he was also found at a school). Really popular guy, always seemed happy. Apparently he had called a bunch of people shortly before he did it but no one answered (it was at like 2 in the morning or something). I can't even imagine how they felt after they heard what happened and saw his missed calls. Sucks, sorry to hear it.

[ThaSaltCracka]

Kerssens

[mmbt0ne]

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Kerssens

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored]. That's the first person I thought of. So sorry TSC.

[MattSuspect]

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Kerssens

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[censored]. That's the first person I thought of. So sorry TSC.

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Same here. Thats awful, he was one of my favorite people from back in the day. Condolences buddy.