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  #121  
Old 08-01-2007, 07:11 PM
Butso Butso is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

MIKE HUNT
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  #122  
Old 08-01-2007, 08:58 PM
The Stranger The Stranger is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
Just made this one up today.

I went to a office to do a job. At the receptionist's desk there was a nameplate sign that said "Running Errands."

I turned to my partner and said, "Ah, she must be Native American."

[/ QUOTE ]

A young American Indian boy asks his father, "Daddy, how do we get our names?"

"Well son, your name is the first thing your mother saw after she gave birth to you. Like your sister, Small Deer Running. Why do you ask Two Dogs Fking?"
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  #123  
Old 08-01-2007, 09:02 PM
Jon1000 Jon1000 is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

Why did Hellen Keller's dog commit suicide?

You would too if your name was Nyuuuuuuuhhh!
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  #124  
Old 08-01-2007, 10:06 PM
Etaipo Etaipo is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Venice, FL
Posts: 502
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

first, my two favorite dead baby jokes.

Q. What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?

A. I don't have a BMW in my garage.


Q. What tastes better than a dead baby?

A. Nothing (it's all in the creepy delivery on this one)

And now a better version of an earlier joke.


While high over the middle of the ocean, an airliner suddenly loses an engine.

The captain gets on the intercom.

"Folks, this is the captain speaking. We just lost one of our right engines. Don't worry, this plane has 3 more engines, and we should still be arriving on time. Settle in, get a drink, eat some delicious peanuts, and enjoy your flight."

Comforted, the passengers relax. Half an hour later, another engine putters to a stop, this time on the left. Once again, the captain gets on the horn.

"Uhh...folks, this is your captain speaking again. It seems that we have had another engine give up on us. We still have two engines left, and those should get us back to land. Please, try to remain calm, and stay in your seats, and I'll get us home."

The passengers nervously chatter, but after 30 minutes or so, they all start to relax again.

Suddenly, an explosion from the remaining right engine, the plane bucks wildly, and there's a sharp drop in altitude as the passengers panic.

The pilot and co-pilot struggle with the plane, finally getting it to right itself, and descending at a slower rate. Desperate, they open the hatches and dump the luggage. This slows the descent further, but the plane is still dropping slowly out of the sky.

The crew confers, and the pilot gets back on the intercom, explains the situation to the passengers, and organizes the cabin crew to open the hatch, and toss anything that is loose out of the plane.

A few minutes later, the task is done, but the plane is still dropping!

Broken, the pilot picks up the intercom mic one final time.

"Folks...things are not looking good. We've tossed all that we can, and the plane is still falling ever so slowly. At this rate, we won't make it to land.

I need to ask for three volunteers. Three brave souls who will give their lives to save the rest. Please...there isn't much time...but if you make this sacrifice....we think we can make it to safety."


Stunned, the passengers look around in disbelief. But not a moment passes before a British gentleman unbuckles, stands, and walks briskly to the open hatch.

He takes a quick look outside, then a quick look around the cabin.

"God save the queen!", and out he jumps, to his doom.

Other than the rush of wind and the lone engine, it is completely silent.

A moment later, and a French man stands. He shuffles down to the door, and looks outside, and then at the passengers.

"Viva la France!", and out he jumps.


"Aww hell!" is heard from the back of the plane. Up stands a Texan, big feller, and moseys down the aisle towards the hatch. He's decked out, 10 gallon hat, boots, huge belt buckle, the whole nine yards.

He reaches the open hatch, looks outside and spits a mouthful of chew juice out. He looks around the cabin, and..........

Grabs the nearest Mexican, throws him out the hatch, and yells "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!!"
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  #125  
Old 08-01-2007, 10:58 PM
Double Eagle Double Eagle is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

A family of humpback whales is swimming in the Pacific when the father whale spies a Japanese whaling ship in the distance. The mother and baby are quite panicked, but daddy whale comes up with a plan.

"This is what we are going to do." he says to the mother "I want you to swim to where the ship can see you and spout. They will come after you and in the meantime I will dive deep and then surface under the boat and capsize it. All of the sailors will be knocked into the water and you can have them for dinner. What do you think?"

The mother whale looks at her mate disgustedly. "What's wrong?" he asks.

"You know dear, I don't mind the blow job but I won't swallow the seamen."
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  #126  
Old 08-01-2007, 11:07 PM
TheDudeAbides TheDudeAbides is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
What do a chicken and a grape have in common?

They're both purple, except for the chicken.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
What is brown and sticky?
a stick!


KJS

[/ QUOTE ]

These two really made me laugh. Probably because I have the sense of humour of a 5 year old.
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  #127  
Old 08-01-2007, 11:37 PM
PantsOnFire PantsOnFire is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

I have two cow chips:

Question: What's the number one use for leather
Answer: To hold cows together.


"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"The interrupting cow"
"The interrupting cow, who?"

When the responding person is asking "The interrupting cow, who?", moo right in the middle.
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  #128  
Old 08-01-2007, 11:54 PM
clownassassin clownassassin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 27
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

Ask me if I'm a truck.

(other person): are you a truck?

NO.



What do you call a black man that can fly a plane?







A pilot, you [censored] racist.
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  #129  
Old 08-02-2007, 12:19 AM
NajdorfDefense NajdorfDefense is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke *DELETED* *DELETED*

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  #130  
Old 08-02-2007, 12:21 AM
NajdorfDefense NajdorfDefense is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street café watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."
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