Lets talk about love TLDR!

[SoloAJ]

Dom, I dig everything in your post.

[The X-Factor]

Dom,

Well said my friend. How have you been anyway? I havent talked with you in forever. I hope all is well mang.

X

[daveT]

Interesting to think of you writing this as this post closely resembles the last OP you wrote.

Watch The Hottest State and be glad you can't relate.

As for me on love. I don't know. I know that there are people that would be very painful for me to not talk to anymore. I guess this pain would be more intense if it was from a woman I really cared about, planned my life around, and had frequent sex with. Compile that with other people's expectations, and the whole experience has to be painful indeed.

I have heard people say that they cannot love. I don't know what that means. I wonder if these people prefer to be lonely in life, or that, chemically, they cannot. I remember talking to one person who said he though he could not love, and he was married. He said that if you act like you love someone, you will ultimately love someone. I asked him if he did love his wife and children. He told me he couldn't answer that for sure, but he did care deeply, and he guessed that was good enough.

With that said, I could see myself sharing a life with a significant other. I do wonder how far I could take certain relationships, past sex, but that doesn't happen too often, so I guess we are programmed, in a way, to love a certain kind of person.

But it is all theory. I have met several men and woman who said that such and such was not the kind of person, personality or look, that they would have dreamed of when they were younger. I think that deep down, we all want to be swept off our feet, but we are also deeply aware of desperation.

[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Dom, I dig everything in your post.

[/ QUOTE ]

I do too, but it leaves out the inferior kinds of love that are the only kind some people have experienced to date, or maybe will experience, or even want or understand. I'm not sure how much that is close to love or a reasonably functional version I want to write off because of its lack of perfection.

[katyseagull]

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I've had long-term girlfriends and I've placated them with "I love you's" but they were vacant. I really don't think this makes me a bad person, just too practical for most people's liking.



[/ QUOTE ]

Tuq - did your girlfriends know you were just placating them? could they tell?

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
Dom,

Well said my friend. How have you been anyway? I havent talked with you in forever. I hope all is well mang.

X

[/ QUOTE ]


I am just peachy, thanks for asking. Where have you been??

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Dom, I dig everything in your post.

[/ QUOTE ]

I do too, but it leaves out the inferior kinds of love that are the only kind some people have experienced to date, or maybe will experience, or even want or understand. I'm not sure how much that is close to love or a reasonably functional version I want to write off because of its lack of perfection.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree my description is a bit idealistic...but the fact that I've felt it and experienced it before, albeit briefly, only strengthens my desire to have it again.

[Fishwhenican]

X-Factor, You raise one hell of a question. It may be one without any real concrete true answer. It may be something that is completely different for two different people.

I really like Dom's answer with the possible exception of this part.
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People in love are considerate of one another, and make concessions for one another's views and desires...but don't confuse consideration for "sacrifice." If you feel like you are sacrifcing something by being with someone, you are not truly in love.

The difference is a desire to make concessions and work at it with love, and not a "that bitch won't let me buy the motorcycle I want" style of resentment

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe it's just my personal definition of sacrifice but I think love involves all kinds of sacrifice. I think I sacrifice a lot of things that I would like to do or have because of my love for my wife and family. I think it is a part of love that puts another person's interests before your own and that you willingly make sacrifices for that person. Of course I could be completely wrong

I think it is also important that love can be very fluid. It has it's highs and lows and can come and go. It is not something that is always there if it is "True Love". I know a lot of people want to believe that but I really think it is a bit idealistic. It would be great if it could happen that way and maybe it actually does for some people. It takes a lot of work to make it through the lows and maybe sometimes it is just not worth it and there is no going back. A good example of that would be me and my X-Wife. When we first met , got married and had a child we were in love, I was in Love and things were good. Something happened and now she is referred to as "The Bitch From Hell" and I claim temporary insanity. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[tuq]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've had long-term girlfriends and I've placated them with "I love you's" but they were vacant. I really don't think this makes me a bad person, just too practical for most people's liking.



[/ QUOTE ]

Tuq - did your girlfriends know you were just placating them? could they tell?

[/ QUOTE ]
Remarkably, no. I don't think even their Spidey Sense could tell. The thing is, people want to be loved and when they are told they are I think they're more than happy to accept that at face value.

[katyseagull]

I totally agree with you. People (maybe girls especially?) love to feel loved and really like the affirmation as long as it's a guy that they are crazy about. If it's not a guy they are crazy about it can feel sort of uncomfortable to hear the words.

But I gotta wonder, why would you say it if you didn't feel it? What's up with that?! That's kind of weird, imo. (no offense meant, of course)