Lets talk about love TLDR!

The X-Factor · #1 09-11-2007, 12:03 AM

What is true love? Somene once told me that true love was the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. Actually, I read that on a bumper sticker. LOL just kidding...

So seriously, what is true love? I ask that question time and time again. Could it be real? Sometimes I think it's hard to tell. I've been through a lot of relationships. I believe that the meaning of true love isn't clear to anyone. It's a question that can never be answered, but always keeps a person thinking about it.

What does it mean to love someone? An emotional attraction can be just as strong as a physical attraction, so who's to say when love is in your corner. I hate when people say, "You're too young to be in love" It's not true. I believe that love can appear at any age to anyone. However, the question that boggles my mind is: Does true love really exist, or is it just a figment of one's imagination? Is it possible to make yourself believe you're in love, even when deep inside your heart you're confused? People can say I love you, but what does it really mean? Is it being said because the love is real, or do people say it because they feel they should?

This is not a perfect world. With love, hate always follows. What does love consist of? Is it the butterflies in your stomach or the fast beat in your heart? Do you want love so bad you can taste it, so you make up a dream in your mind? I always thought that I could speak from experience. I could say, "yes, I am in love" My dream faded too fast. Even though I'm only 24, I still felt that this special person in my life could be the one I referred to as my "first love". I was hurt and because of it, I now doubt love.

Was I really in love or was I just some, hopeless romantic convincing myself that love was there? I'll never know. The questions I ask will never be answered. Is there really that magical feeling that everyone talks about? And when the relationship comes to an end, is love what makes you unwilling to stay, but unwilling to leave? The ultimate question, if what everyone says about love is true, then why does love have to hurt so much?

tarheeljks · #2 09-11-2007, 12:19 AM

ultimately, i think the distinction between passion and love is defined by the willingness to make sacrifices for a loved one. obv, there are lots of elements that can cause this, but i feel like that's the end result. i don't speak from experience though. . .

The X-Factor · #3 09-11-2007, 12:21 AM

tarheel I find your replies interesting. You seem to have thought a lot about this subject before to have never experienced it before.

tarheeljks · #4 09-11-2007, 12:25 AM

i won't deny that; are you asking why?

define interesting [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

The X-Factor · #5 09-11-2007, 01:04 AM

[ QUOTE ]
i won't deny that; are you asking why?

define interesting [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I guess in a way I'd like to see what type of a post you could come up with, with strictly your views on this subject.

By interesting I mean, you say just enough to get my attention then leave me hanging. Its kinda like a girl walking into my work with a skirt on then leaving right away. I take one look and see the greatness then she is gone out of my life lol.

X

SoloAJ · #6 09-11-2007, 01:14 AM

I'm pretty sure the more experienced posters of The Lounge will weigh in a lot stronger here. tarheel, you can think about it all you wants, but not experiencing it another thing entirely. I've only had one serious relationship and there were times that I know I absolutely was filled by my definition of love. Of course, it faded away in some ways as she drifted apart and quit openly showing care for me.

When this question comes up, I always think of the corny bench speech in Good Will Hunting. I would imagine that there is a lot of truth to that scene about experiencing things before you can truly understand them.

Essentially, despite the fact that I feel like I've been through love in a short term sense (a year or so), I don't think I feel too comfortable or set in stone in my beliefs to properly answer this question.

I look forward to those who are more experienced in life to chime in, with particular regard to the concept that trying to figure out what love is by thinking about vs. experiencing it.

tuq · #7 09-11-2007, 01:19 AM

This is probably too jaded for this forum, but to me love is just your brain messing with you. I've never been in love and that doesn't bother me in the least. I've had long-term girlfriends and I've placated them with "I love you's" but they were vacant. I really don't think this makes me a bad person, just too practical for most people's liking.

Then again I could meet some flooz tomorrow and completely lose my mind so who knows.

tarheeljks · #8 09-11-2007, 01:37 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I'm pretty sure the more experienced posters of The Lounge will weigh in a lot stronger here. tarheel, you can think about it all you wants, but not experiencing it another thing entirely. I've only had one serious relationship and there were times that I know I absolutely was filled by my definition of love. Of course, it faded away in some ways as she drifted apart and quit openly showing care for me.

When this question comes up, I always think of the corny bench speech in Good Will Hunting. I would imagine that there is a lot of truth to that scene about experiencing things before you can truly understand them.

Essentially, despite the fact that I feel like I've been through love in a short term sense (a year or so), I don't think I feel too comfortable or set in stone in my beliefs to properly answer this question.

I look forward to those who are more experienced in life to chime in, with particular regard to the concept that trying to figure out what love is by thinking about vs. experiencing it.

[/ QUOTE ]

ouch, did i offend you somewhere along the line? i was going to say something similar about backing off b/c i'm less experienced, but now let me revise my initial post: i've experienced emotions that could be/are categorized as love by some. i just don't perceive myself as having been in love, but i've experienced enough to know what i think it is. the concept is so amorphous that its debatable how/when a person would actually know anyway, hence the original post.

edit: i think i'm still going to back off though.

Dominic · #9 09-11-2007, 02:27 AM

obviously, you're asking about romantic love, correct?

in that regard, I believe true love to be a complete and total commitment to the other person. Their dreams and hopes and fears and insecurities become just as important to you as your own.

It's caring more for the welfare of that other person than your own.

Finally, it's accepting that other person fully, flaws and all. You don't have to like every little thing about the person you love (and believe me, you won't) but if you truly do care for and love that person the things that do bother you will remain small and unimportant, at least in the bigger picture.

You don't have to be identical, you don't have to be completey opposite...it's a connection, pure and simple, and once you're in it you can't imagine not being in it. The other person becomes as much a part of you as your left arm...it's a feeling that is both intimate and unique, yet with the right person, it's also liberating and always worthwhile.

People in love are considerate of one another, and make concessions for one another's views and desires...but don't confuse consideration for "sacrifice." If you feel like you are sacrifcing something by being with someone, you are not truly in love.

The difference is a desire to make concessions and work at it with love, and not a "that bitch won't let me buy the motorcycle I want" style of resentment.

finally, people in love truly like one another and want to spend time with their significant other. Passion waxes and wanes, but if you don't really enjoy spending time with that person when your not in a passionate mood, you're relationship is in trouble.

Anyway, my two cents.

SoloAJ · #10 09-11-2007, 10:48 AM

tarheel, try rereading my post with no malice inferred. I realize it was worded in a way that could be construed as such, but that wasn't the case.

In fact, the main reason I said that is because I had thought about it and thought about it myself, but up until 2 years ago, I really didn't have a clue (imo). It was something that I feel like I only began to understand once I had gone through it and looking back I could say "yeah, that was it." I don't know.

I didn't, by any means, intend for you to take that harshly. The tone itself, from my end, wasn't harsh whatsoever. And yes, I agree that you can experience it enough to have some general concept, but it will probably change for you over time. As I'm sure it still will for me.

I come in peace. Don't back off on my account.