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#11
06-27-2007, 01:09 AM
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Re: HELP!!
Never said I won all my money from MTT. My best game are SNGS where I 20+ tabled 60s. Back than my [censored] electricity went out when I just opened a set....-1,2k...come back an hour later on monkeytilt and dump my bankroll because I can't stand what happened and needed to win it back. LOLOL @ MOM/DADDY living off their money. I bought my own car, pay for everything and loaned parents money who were struggling with medium debt and were working their asses off while I was at home banking. That is motivation for me to continue playing/winning. Govman 100% agree with the last three sentences but how do you just stop doing something you love. PLZ sharkscope me the sharp downturn is where it fell apart one night.....I have plenty of friends that are girls but would be crushed/ biggest embarassment of my life if she said "Ummm...IDK I'd rather not." How could ever look at the girl who you see once a week when you get denied. I have been "anti-social"/ to my self for most of my life. That combined with the negative effects of losing money and being drained from training/competing is a bad combo. I forgot to tell a story about wrestling. Started my Freshman year and got beat most of the time. Soph year start out same way and coach got on me in practice during christmas break and absolutely kicked the crap out of me. I started crying eventually threw up twice on the mat. I still remember this incident quite often. After that start improving and out of nowhere make it to states where I lose quick because I was too nervous. I did have some potential. Junior I lose one match before state and have a good shot at getting second. Go into my first match the most nervous I have ever been in my life. I didn't want to lose, I wasn't suppose to lose I was up against one of the weaker guys, everyone thought I was going to win and probably place and maybe get second. I get smoked and walk out in tears for an hour. My head was spinning because I was so scared to lose. One time dealer. I wish. That maych there still haunts me EVERYDAY...NO LIE! All the work/ cutting weight to get whipped when it mattered the most. Senior year pretty much the same deal go undefeated until second round at states where I lost a close match. To get to the point I struggle to deal with getting nervous and wrestling put me in a lot of pressured and stressful situations that still upset me. Thats all I did during school, never did homework, just slept in class wrestled 5 hours a day and went home and played poker. Now that school is over all I care about is poker and guitar hero.
BTW ..suicide was never an option because of how bad that would hurt my family. 
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#12
06-27-2007, 11:14 AM
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Re: HELP!!
I'm not sure if you will take anyone's advice, but here's mine FWIW:
1. Stop gambling. Go to GA. By your post it seems you have a gambling problem. You might be a good player but there are many good players whose personality is not suited for gambling, especially for a living. These are the people who will win for months and blow it all in one all-night session trying to chase some recent losses. People like this should not gamble, period. 2. Don't be so hung up about girls rejecting you, seriously. I feel your pain I was very shy around women at your age, and the thought of being rejected by a girl I liked seemed like the worst thing imaginable. But once it happens you realize it's not that big a deal. Girls get asked out all the time, and they say no most of the time. Big deal. A friend of mine would ask out girls everywhere - on the train platform, walking down the street, anywhere. He was not particularly good-looking, but he always had hot girlfriends. Because he just laughed off the ones who blew him off and kept asking. He probably batted like .200 but who cares about the .800 who said no - the 20% who said yes were hot. I emphasize this because I think you are isolating yourself to avoid rejection, which is unhealthy. If you had a girlfriend you cared about I think your outlook would improve and life wouldn't only be about your poker results. But you need to get over the fear of rejection first. 3. Don't beat yourself up over past losses or failures. Everyone fails. There's no need to keep replaying these failures in your head. Learn from them and move on. It's what every successful person has done. It sounds like you are ridiculously hard on yourself, you need to let yourself off the hook a little bit. 4. Get a job.
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