HELP!!

[lwrunner103]

My background is I just graduated HS, still live with my mom and stepdad, hardly see my dad because I don't want to go to his house that has no computer/ anything to do there. I can tell how bad this hurts him because of the way he acts around me. I never had a job because I feel that $7/hour is waste of life, I was a serious athlete (wrestling and running)in HS and therefore have never drank or smoked anything not once. I have NEVER asked a girl out which is probably because I get extremely nervous/uncomfortable whenever I talk to a random cute girl. I hardly have any friends, even in HS I would go to the gym and run/cut weight during lunch and never had a social group to be around. Had a bad poker night in January where I lost ~12k. I was stunned and it started a downward spiral of depression/ loss chasing that is still going on now. At that time I was an absolute mess mentallyand my Mom made me see two psychiatrists who forced me to take Zoloft which I quit a month ago because I hate trying to hide my problems by a quick fix/ fake answer. Since December I'm down ~20k. I got that money through a couple MTT scores/ SNG grinding / cash grinding randomly. I had ~15k online and 10k in savings paid for insurance months in advance. Bought family awesome birthday/christmas gifts. Since than I have lost almost everything, except for 1k in my wallet which will be given to court tommorow when I will have to pay a fine for speeding 110>65. Lately I try building a BR feom SSNL and whenever I have 1 bad day I will go play High stakes HU and eventually bust trying to get back to even for the day. I am tired of having no money and scraping by. My goal from poker has always to been to get rich and quit. I assume I have a gambling problem. I assume I am depressed. The only one who would know is me..but I don't know. I don't know where I should go from here. I would honestly say I have an edge against most of the players I play against. Could I be lying to myself. I have no motivation to do anything like go run or register for college. My mom is really fed up with me for a number of reasons like quitting the pills, staying at the casino for 2 days straight, getting the ticket, not registering for college, taking money out of savings for poker which as of tonight is gone, etc.. What steps should I take to change my life?

[demon102]

didnt read it but call gamberlers anonamys. google it

[Rainclouds]

I tried googling 'gamberlers anonamys' but there were no results [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

But OP, really sucks. But taking the time to post this seems a good step forward. And yes, you need help from outside, as you surely don't have the discipline and motivation you need.

[kyzerjose]

What do you think you should do? Don't say I don't know, because you do.
BTW, meds for depression aren't a quick fix. Clinical depression is nothing to screw around with. You're isolating yourself. Be very careful.

[Jazzy3113]

Your story is very similar to mine, but some key differences are i had to take time off from college not HS.

First things first. Are you even considering college? Even a degree from a [censored] state school like University of Delaware can be a huge help when getting a job. Worst comes to worst, try getting a community college degree but you need something to fall back on.

I went bust 12k at FTP one night and the next night went to the Borg and blew 20k live....almost all of my poker money.

I have never really gotten back from that. Sometimes Ill deposit 600 at ftp run it up to 4k and then bust. Mentally, I cant play low limits because it feels like a waste of time and maybe my ego plays a role. Taking a step and looking at it I must have blow threw almost another 7k just depositing and going bust, but when you do it 600 at a time it doesn't seem like a big deal.

My advice is either a get some job to get yourself into a routine. Even if its minimum wage do it for at least a month so you are out and about. As for your depression, anyone would be when they lose a huge amount of cash. I studied pysch at penn and let me tell you, data shows daily excercise helps the mind state just as much as any of these millions of pysch pills, plus we dont really know if these things might have serious long term effects yet.

After working and saving for awhile, then being to take another shot. Loss chasing is the worst.
I know it is almost impossible to quit poker like this and it will be tough, but try to not play at all for awhile. If you have any other hobby at all focus on that while ur off from work.
GL

[n0thx]

It is time for you to become "an hero"

[wickedgoodtrader]

First off.. good move on quitting the pills. Those things are ridiculous and will harm you more then help you. your not depressed... your sad you lost a bunch of money. Had you won a bunch you wouldn't be feeling this way. A truly depressed person could win the lottery and they'd still be crying they're eyes out.

As for getting back on the right track with cards. First.. you need to analyze if you can truly beat the game. No lying to yourself. Beating the game isn't "knowing" how to play better then your opponents, it IS playing better then your opponents. I myself had a hard time comeing down in limits, but it's what a successful player does. I was killing the 5/10 NL online (+200k in a year) until Neteller got shutdown then the games got tougher and I couldn't win anymore. I moved down to 3-6 then 2-4 and played fairly badly because the money just wasn't the same. I then took a step back and seriously anaylyzed my goals and more importantly my capabilities. I realized I'm not going to have +10k days playing 2-4 and I'll have to just try and make $300/day. [censored].. $300/day is over $100k/year.

To wrap it up... you are overwhelmed and sound like your on tilt trying to win it back fast. Take baby steps and it will all add up.

[wickedgoodtrader]

Oh ya...maybe treat yourself to a hooker.. serious. Just be safe.

[jt082005]

I agree with earlier comment to get a job...even for nothing, but not only will you make some money and have something to do and keep you in order, you also can meet some girls and new people. Go out make friends and have fun

[govman6767]

[ QUOTE ]
I just graduated HS Therefore You'll be making 7 dollars an hour for the rest of your life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are mommy and daddy really going to carry you for the rest of your life.

After reading your post can you clarify some things.

1) You said you won all your money from MTT. If this is true ANYONE can win a big tournament, have a large bankroll.

2) MTT winner sucks at poker starts playing cash games loses all his money.

3) Player can't figure out why he was losing.

4) Whole problem in life is Player does not understand poker tournaments and does not understand cash games.

Solution.

1) Stop playing poker and beg parents to let you go to college so you can work somewhere other than Mc Donalds the rest of your life.

2) You said you were an athlete in HS girls dig atheletes so stop being a weenie around girls.

3) If you are that messed up take some time to learn the game and not suck.

Read posts of Gambler2K4 and Grimstarr and see what it's like when you suck at poker but chase your losses. Grimstarrs back in the game I think but Gambler2K4 is BUSTO

Your so young and are ruining your life over a stupid card game. The poster that makes 100k a year playing poker is a good poker player and has used the game to enhance his life. You are using poker to destroy yours.

Shape up