Dude stalking my girlfriend - Page 4

Hopey · #31 10-20-2006, 11:13 AM

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She doesn't hear from him for a bit, then wakes up one day and he's in her bedroom (doors were locked). He is drunk but not aggressive, police come, she doesn't press charges

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At this point I would have broken up with her.

Freerollin` · #32 10-20-2006, 11:17 AM

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Listen, it's not the end of the world. He's just a heart-broken bipolar nut, he has friends call his ex via phone and make lame comments, he doesn't sound like he's really very sophisticated at all, nor worthy of all this panicking.

And since you already claim to be frustrated with the polices handling of this matter, my advice stands - don't sweat it. If you see him again, beat his ass. It's really that simple.

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You are a total idiot.

OP,

From experience, this is a very big deal. Based on your description, the police don't seem to understand this, so that needs to change. Also, I'm not clear - is there a restraining order in the new state? If not, get one. GF does not need to go through daily life worrying about this clown, and a restraining order is going to make her life easier by making police action easier.

Also, if she really woke up and he was in her room drunk, a taser or mace is not a bad idea.

'Chair · #33 10-20-2006, 12:45 PM

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Look into the stalking laws in your state. Some are much tougher than others.

Get a device to record all incoming phone calls + caller ID, duh. Block all calls with a blocked number.

She should get a taser or gun in case this guy shows up in her place again, seriously.

You can't always depend on the cops to solve your problems.

I can't believe he broke into her house and she didn't file charges. I'm sure he believes that she won't press charges no matter what he does.

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this is a sound plan of action.

oreopimp · #34 10-20-2006, 12:53 PM

1. how did he find out where she lived
2. how did he get her phone # (if its the same one, this should have been changed forever ago)

3. how could she not press charges when he was in her bedroom?

Felix_Nietzsche · #35 10-20-2006, 01:07 PM

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She doesn't hear from him for a bit, then wakes up one day and he's in her bedroom (doors were locked). He is drunk but not aggressive, police come, she doesn't press charges

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At this point I would have broken up with her.

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I understand your point.
If it happens again she needs to press charges. If she balks. I would pour on the pressure including breaking up with her. If she lets him walk the streets, the BF's life is equally in danger from this guy. She needs to press charges for both their sakes.

We all remember what happen to Ron Goldman in the OJ Simpson case....

inlemur · #36 10-20-2006, 01:19 PM

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1. how did he find out where she lived
2. how did he get her phone # (if its the same one, this should have been changed forever ago)

3. how could she not press charges when he was in her bedroom?

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1 & 2 are the reason I'm taking this as seriously as I am. He has followed her 700 miles from another state. Nobody other than her family and friends should have even known that she moved. Her address is unlisted, as is her cell.

3 I already addressed. At the time she still felt sorry for the guy because of his numerous depression issues that are apparently related to some horrible [censored] that his dad did to him as a kid that I'm not aware of. However she is absolutely dead serious about pressing even the smallest of charges today.

She is in the process of trying to get the subpoena and a restraining order. The problem with that was the officer told her point blank that in all probability the subpoena request would be ignored by the detective assigned to that sort of thing. Without the subpoena, we have absolutely no proof that it's even the same guy. A restraining order is still in existence in another state, and I don't know much about how those laws work. I'm looking into all of this obviously but all of the events have happened very recently. If anyone here knows anything about law I'd appreciate if you could let me know whatever you know about this sort of thing.

inlemur · #37 10-20-2006, 01:25 PM

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She doesn't hear from him for a bit, then wakes up one day and he's in her bedroom (doors were locked). He is drunk but not aggressive, police come, she doesn't press charges

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At this point I would have broken up with her.

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This happened a year before I met her. Yes, she realizes this was stupid, at the time she was traumatized and just wanted the whole thing to go away, which it did, for a year and a half. He showed up again after the move, which to me suggests that he was content for that year and a half just knowing where she was and knowing that he could harass her if he wanted, and the move pissed him off and took that control away.

Joe Tall · #38 10-22-2006, 03:26 PM

There are way too many fish in the sea, dump her.

Jim Kuhn · #39 10-23-2006, 01:21 AM

Joe is right. It would be much easier and less stressful just finding another girlfriend. As an old poker player in a home game told me after my divorce 'Son, God made made over a billion c**ts - I am sure you will find another one that will fit'. He was right. There are plenty to go around!

Thank you,

Jim Kuhn
Catfish4u
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Dire · #40 10-23-2006, 02:32 AM

Violence/intimidation doesn't sound like a great idea against a guy who stalked this girl 700 miles. Has she ever tried talking to his friends? They can't all be insane and could maybe get through to the guy. Outside of that, the police are the best option. Don't escalate the situation against a guy who probably has nothing to lose and would be happier if nobody could have her if he can't.

And next time, remember to ask if they have a psychotic stalking ex-boyfriend on the first date. It makes things so much easier.