Vegas trip with Bill-continued

[wildpike]

Tuesday Morning

I get to the room shortly after 5 in the morning and laugh myself to sleep after about 1/2 an hour. The water bottle incident in the bathroom of a Vegas casino at 5am is truly one of the most surreal moments in my life. Korean dude threw like Nolan Ryan and the conversation afterwards was truly flawless. I thought I was making more out of it than it was but everyone I tell thinks it's hilarious.

8am-Door opens

Bill- Dude, I'm an idiot
Me- I know, go to sleep
Bill- No, seriously. I'm a total f'ing moron.
Me- Seriously, I know. Let me go to sleep.
Bill- Let me tell you what happened. (Damnit Bill, its hard enough to sleep in Vegas, much less with light coming in the windows, maids in the hall and you telling me what I already know)
Me- Ok, what did you do.
Bill- I took the $100 you gave me and doubled it playing limit. Then I went over to 1-2 NL.
Me- So you lost it there?
Bill- No, I doubled it again and was up to $400. (Now I'm actually listening) Then I went and played Blackjack.
Me- You [censored].
Bill- I know. I lost it all in like 3 minutes. It was 8 hands.
Me- You played poker all day, grinded it out, got all your money back in a game you can beat and gave it back playing $50 a hand in BJ? You idiot. Now I cant even have it.
Bill- What do you mean?
Me- You took it out of the poker community. Thats $400 that can never be won in poker by anyone and now the Flamingo has it. Why would you lose it all in 8 hands? Why not just play like 10 a hand?
Bill- It was actually 6 hands. 50, 50, 50, 50, 100, 100.
Me- You're a [censored]. Go to sleep
Bill- Can I borrow $300?
Me- If you shut up, I'll leave it on the desk when I wake up.

11am-I wake up and my stomach is just blasted from the alcohol. I know I should eat but can't and I can't sleep or focus either. Leave 300 for Bill on the desk. Time for my yearly Craps session.

Casino Royale baby!!! The hidden gem on the strip for cheap craps play. I walk in and immediately get the dice at a full table. I bet weak at craps since I usually have no luck and personally suck rolling the dice. I bet $3 on pass line and roll a 10. A whopping $5 to back this up and off we go. A couple of numbers later, here is my 10 again. Ship It. 2-7's before starting another point. A couple numbers hit and I hit my point again. Hot Shooter!! Now, there all kinds of bets being placed. $24 on the 6 and 8. Max odds on the point. The geriatric crew is on at the Casino Royale however and getting to roll the dice once every 2 1/2 minutes is average. I'm 33 and I bet I'm less than half the age of the youngest dealer at the table. Except the pit boss. He looks about 17-go figure. Like a clown I never up my bet even though everyone else does. I order a bottle of water and when the waitress comes back I tip my usual buck. She grabs my ass!! If I wasn't married, she wasn't taller than me (6'0") possibly larger than me (200 lbs), not wearing a huge knee-brace and remotely attractive she might have a shot. However she stands no chance today and it's back to the dice. This is not the last time I will be hit on by a casino employee today (details later). I roll the dice 30-35 times total and hit 4 points. However, I never upped my bets and win only like $85. The table win has to be in the thousands. I feel like a dope but the way I'm running in poker, $85 seems pretty good. I give $15 back in tips and on the next guy that obviously does not know how to roll as good as I and leave $70 ahead. I play BJ switch for a few hands and get up when the dealer forgets to deal the guy on 3rd base with money in play and then forgets to ask the rest of us if we want to hit our hands. No one beats the dealer service at the Royale. A quick lunch at Chipotle-cheap and easy on the strip, try to take a nap and off to the Wynn for poker and waitress watching.

I will post the Tuesday evening part at the latest tomorrow morning. Just so everyone knows-I don't have this written out yet and it takes some time. I will put them up as soon as I'm done with them.

Preview-Fried Twinkies and Oreos, Bill is struck, hookers and much more.

[budblown]

Ok if you are writing this out now I guess you can be allowed more time.

[jkgunter]

Keep it coming - great story so far!

[chopstick]

wonderful style.


Too bad for Mary Poppins clone, though.

[chaucerchick]

Great reports--but I cracked up when you gave Bill [censored] for playing BJ b/c it's vs. the house, in a game where you don't have an edge, etc. and then proceeded to wake up and immediately go to the craps table.

[pig4bill]

[ QUOTE ]
Hand #1; 2 limpers and I raise it to $12 on the button with AJ.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Hand #3; I have played very few hands the last 90 minutes and my stack is still around $150. I should get respect when I raise it to $12 with JJ after a couple of limpers.

[/ QUOTE ]

You were there and I wasn't, but it seems like that's an awfully small raise for Vegas 1/2 especially with a couple limpers in the pot. Just about all the 1/2 I've played there opened for $12-$15 and limpers would mean a $20 raise.

[ QUOTE ]
me-that guy was about to get his ass kicked
Korean-ya he was, I know karate
me-ya, me to
K-seriously?
me-no, i dont know any karate
K-lol, me either
me- why did you say that then?
K-I dont know, thought there was still a chance you were with that dude
me-nope, not me, have a good night, that was some funny sh**

[/ QUOTE ]

Ah, you should have known. Koreans know Tae Kwon Do, not karate.

[yimyammer]

[ QUOTE ]
Hand #4; A couple of limpers including the guy on tilt and I have A-10 in late position. I realize everyone is limping up front to play with the guy on tilt trying to stack him. I feel like my A-10 is ahead of all of them and raise to 12. I'm right and I get one reluctant caller plus the guy on tilt. Flop is 10-4-3. I bet 25 and tilt calls. Turn is 3 and there are 2 clubs on board and I have one. I bet 50 and tilt moves in. I tank and if I call, the pot will be around $425. I call and announce I have a-10. Normally I will show when all the money is in but this guy doesn't so I don't either. He says 'I didn't really think you had the 10. I'm on a draw'. What do you think I had then genius? Better that a-10. Total air? Did my tight image portray 7-8 offsuit here? Anyway, he's on a draw so I assume clubs or 5-6 straight draw. River is J of purple horseshoes. 'I hit the Jack'. WTF!!! I expect him to turn over J of clubs with another club but no. J4 offsuit, zero clubs. What kind of f***ing draw is J4 offsuit on that board?? A draw?? Are you f***ing kidding me? And you dont think I have at least the 10. At this point I have him covered--remember about an hour ago he had 800. I would of had over 475 and down only 75 on the day even after the 2-3 and the Q4 hands. Instead, now Im down 500 and have 50 left in front of me. J4, WTF. I'm standing up in disbelief and starting to get it under control when the very first Vegas chip runner who has to be 80 years old comes over and looks at the board and says 'thats a nice hand'. Ya, J4 is a great hand grandpa, thanks for your comments. "It was really well played also". I usually don't get to pissed over hands but I'm steaming on this one. This is a bad beat story that doesn't even make sense. I've had worse statistical beats, one and two outers, blah blah blah, but this one is total horses**t. This one will stick with me for a while.
.
So its off to bed for me to think about Tuesday's play. Nothing can happen on the way to room right? Wrong.
.
I walk into the restroom before heading up to my room. I'm washing my hands when I notice a short Hispanic guy in the mirror. He is walking around the bathroom throwing his shoulders around like he's looking for a fight. He's like 5'5" and not very stocky. Im about 6', 200 lbs and one thing I know how to do is kick an ass. That being said I still don't want any [censored] in Vegas at 5 in the morning. About that time a fairly large Asian man (Im guessing Korean) about my size walks in and the Hispanic guy walks right into him. The Korean apologizes even though it's obviously the Hispanic guy's fault and continues walking. The Hispanic guy turns around and starts challenging and cussing at the Korean guy. Korean guy says 'Hey, I apologized even though you ran into me, so leave it alone.' Hispanic guy--'F you', lets go!! and starts walking towards him. Korean guy has a very full bottle of water in his hand and goes Roger Clemens ala Mike Piazza on him. This is one of those moments when everything goes in slow motion for me. I see the bottle turning sideways in mid-air and can actually read the label even though it's going by at about 90 miles an hour. It turns completely sideways right before impact and smashes into short Hispanic guys face. He steps back stunned and wobbles around a little bit. He then turns to me with a confused look on his face. I tell him not to look at me cause there's no way I'm helping him out. He turns and walks out of the bathroom. I completely lose it and ROTFLMAO.
.
The tension leaves the room and the Korean guy starts laughing also.
.
me-that guy was about to get his ass kicked
Korean-ya he was, I know karate
me-ya, me to
K-seriously?
me-no, i dont know any karate
K-lol, me either
me- why did you say that then?
K-I dont know, thought there was still a chance you were with that dude
me-nope, not me, have a good night, that was some funny sh**


[/ QUOTE ]

LMAO!!

Good stuff, keep it comin!

[wildpike]

[ QUOTE ]
Great reports--but I cracked up when you gave Bill [censored] for playing BJ b/c it's vs. the house, in a game where you don't have an edge, etc. and then proceeded to wake up and immediately go to the craps table.

[/ QUOTE ]

The difference is I didn't drop $400 after battling all day to get it. He doesn't have this money to lose.

[wildpike]

Thursday evening/night

When I wake up mid-afternoon, Bill is still dead to the world. Time for more poker. A long hot walk to the Wynn and I’m ready to go. I love this place. It seems like the Wynn hired the hottest waitress from each casino and employed them here. Not to mention, just the overall appearance of the women that play here is incredible. Anyone who thinks women aren’t moneygrubbers is insane. Vegas proves this. All the hot chicks hang out in the nice casinos with the guys’ with money. When was the last time you saw a group of hotties at Circus Circus?

Anyway, back to poker. I get on a 1-3 game and buy in for 300 after a 15 minute wait. One of the guys from the table during the Venetian explosion is here-not the idiot. He looks at me and asks if I’ve recovered yet. I have and I’m ready to win. He tells his friend ‘that’s the guy from the Venetian I told you about’. His friend says he would have killed the J4 guy on site. I considered it.

Hand #1—I am dealt KJ in the cutoff and call. Flop is KK-10. Early position guy bets, I call and so does the button. Turn is a blank. Check, bet 40, fold, call. River is a 10. Check, bet 50, call. Ship it. Up 120 on the first hand.

Unfortunately, that’s the biggest hand I win all day. I hover around 50-100 up all day and my back is killing me. I’ve never had a massage’ and always wondered how it would be at the table. $2 a minute, 10 minute minimum. Sold to the hot massage girl for 10 minutes. If you’ve never done this, I have to recommend it. I know massages are a lot more than 20 bucks usually and this is worth it. My back is already feeling better and did I mention this chick is smokin hot. Then she massages my hips? Not sure what this is for but I’m not complaining. Why won’t this chick grab my ass like the one at Casino Royale? I guess that’s what happens when you add class and good looks to a girl. Try it out sometime, def worth 20 bucks. Bill calls when I’m up a whole 2 bucks on the day after 3 ½ hours. We agree to catch buses downtown and meet up there. Bill has never seen the twilight zone that is downtown Las Vegas. I drop my $2 winnings in a slot machine and leave the Wynn even on the day plus a massage. Chalk it up as a win.

One notable thing happens on the bus ride downtown. I’m on the top level and about halfway there, this guy behind me starts telling everyone in ear shot that he and his wife got married at one of the 35 wedding chapels between the Stratosphere and downtown. When we pass it, he starts yelling out ‘that’s the one right there’. Real classy place I must say. The kid across the aisle who must be 10 years old rolls his eyes at me and he cares as much as I do. Now this guy has attention from some people and starts cussing up a storm right in front of this kid who apparently is on this bus with no one in particular. The more attention the guy gets, the louder and more obscene it gets. When we get downtown, the bus driver comes on the horn and says ‘Everyone see the horse down there?’ Ok, everyone see what’s next to the horse? (It’s the bus pickup sign and he wants to make a point for everyone to meet here). Instead of taking in this piece of information, loud mouth asks ‘Is it the horse’s pecker?’ Young kid rolls his eyes again and says very loudly “what a jackass!’ I laugh way to loud on purpose and Mr. Douchebag doesn’t say anything getting off the bus.

I meet up with Bill at the GoldenGate for some cheap shrimp and crab in an attempt to settle my stomach still recovering from the last 2 nights of alcohol. After dinner, I vow not to drink tonight. Bill runs over to Binion’s to continue drinking vodka and soda and join the 1-2NL game. Apparently, he has been up for a few hours drinking at the Flamingo and is taking the opposite approach of drinking to make himself feel better. I try to play some $3 blackjack but they are training a new dealer and each hand is taking forever. I try to be patient, don’t show my frustration but have to leave before finishing one shoe. Shuffling by hand literally took about 10 minutes the last time. I’m up about $25 and head over to Binion’s.

Get in the game and this hand comes up quickly. I play 5-6 suited (clubs) on the button for 2 bucks and the flop is 4-7-8, 2 hearts. Young kid bets out, I raise, he re-raises, I 4 bet and he moves in. Obviously I call and he says ‘Did you flop it’? What was your first clue? He has top 2 and blanks out. Up close to 200.

Then I donk it back to him. Dealt AK in sb next orbit. Young kid calls, Bill is in BB and I just call like a stupid rookie. Kid has about 80 left. Flop is 6-8-4 and I bet out. Kid calls. Turn is an ace. I bet 20 and he raises it up. I call. River is a blank. I know he has A-6 and I pay him off anyway on the river. I really screwed this up and know it.

Next lap, Bill is UTG and limps in. Middle aged good player raises to 20 on the button. Bill calls?? Everyone else folds. Guy makes comment ‘You limp in and call 20, what are you doing?’ Flop is Jxx. Guy bets 50 and Bill calls. Turn is another small blank. Guy puts Bill all in and he tanks and calls. River is a rag, Bill shows QQ and takes down the pot-double up. Dude shakes his head and Bill says “I know, I played it bad.” Guy replies ‘well, since you said it first, limping and calling 20 with queens is really weak.’ I decide not to let it go and fire back that he won quite a bit of money playing it weak against you. He agrees and shuts up. We play for a while and table becomes tight/tough table. I convince Bill there are better tables to find in Vegas and we should go find it. I leave up +108 after 2 hours. Right before we leave Bill does a shot of Vodka that had to be 5 ounces and downs 2 more vodka’s and soda. Bill says the shot was warm and feels like they microwaved it first. Only time I've ever seen him have to choke down vodka.

We walk out in the square and the lights show is coming on. This is what Bill wanted to come down here for so we watch the show. This has changed since the last time I was here. Scantily clad women dancing provocatively are not what I remember but it’s sure as hell what I’m watching. I look around at some of the less than desirable people standing around me and want to leave when Bill pipes up “This is my kind of place. I like these people. Can we stay downtown next year?” Shut up Bill. This prompts the return of the finger from part one of this story.

We walk down the block and come to the casino with the ads for the .99 cent menu items. My throat hurts and I see the frozen drink sign and I’m drawn like a bug to a light. I usually don’t drink frozen girly drinks especially in public but damn it looks good. We start to walk in and the girl handing out beads stops us and talks to us for a few minutes. At the end of the conversation, she says win a lot of money and pinches my nipple!! WTF!! This can not be the norm even at this casino that has no discernible name. Twice in one day but this chick is hot. I’m not ugly but I’m certainly not good looking enough to have 2 different Vegas waitresses’ grab various body parts on any given day. We go in and Bill immediately starts in.

Bill- You have to [censored] her.
Me- I’m married Bill, so are you, I’m not going to [censored] her.
Bill- Come on dude, her body is smoking, just do it.
Me- What good is it going to do you if I [censored] her? You do it.
Bill- She likes you man, just do it. She needs it. It would be legendary if you did it.
Me- We can’t tell anybody anyway so what’s the point?
Bill- That’s the point of doing it in Vegas, you don’t have to tell anyone.
Me- How is it legendary if you can’t tell anyone? Shut up and go buy us one of everything on the menu. I’m getting a drink.

A couple minutes later Bill had fried Twinkies, Oreos and a Nathan’s hot dog in hand. The Twinkie and Oreo are incredible and definitely would do this again for a buck. Thw whole Oreo including the hard shell have completely melted!! Have to try this next time you’re in Vegas. Anyone that knows the name of this casino, please post it. It’s very small with nothing but slot machines and a bar.

I have a couple more frozen drinks while losing my money I won at BJ at Golden Gate. The bead girl makes a few more stops by to check on me and is chatting me up with her life story. This girl has issues and I will spare the story. Bill notices all this and anytime I walk away he’s all over me to close the deal. I tell him no and the finger comes out again, always in my eye, ear and face. For the 10th time tonight he is warned. Right before we leave, the girl finds me again and tells me someone stole her clothes and now she has to spend a whole $9 at some shop to buy some shorts to drive home in. Is this an angle for 9 bucks or hopefully a ride home? Her breath smells like she just ate an ass-sandwich. I’m confused and decide to leave. She follows me out and wants my cell number. I act like I’m going back in to find a pen, wait a minute and come back out. Tell her I can’t find one and she says to come back tomorrow. Good luck with that. When we are leaving, the other bead girl whom is African American says in a long drawn out sentence “somebody stole your clothesssssssssssss”. I find this hilarious and crack up in front of everyone.

Bill is busy being hustled by some guy trying to sell him passes to clubs and strip bars. I walk up and tell him no thanks and Bill starts telling him he doesn’t trust him and ‘he’s suspect’. The guy doesn’t think it’s quite as funny. I start to pull Bill away but then notice he has toilet paper 2 feet long attached to his shoe. Of course, I don’t tell him but recruit passerby’s to stop, look and take pictures. Finally I grow bored and pull Bill away from his new boyfriend to go play poker. I tell Bill about the toilet paper and in return he tries to kick me with it and wipe it on me. Starting to get pissed.

We head into the Golden Nugget and since I’m a schmuck and have started drinking I decide to continue and play 2-4 limit. Bill in his drunken state is playing 1-2NL. Some guy mentions he just got married so I announce tequila shots for the table. He and one other guy take me up on it. Table sucks. This hand then comes up. I raise KK from EP and get the usual 6 callers. Flop is 2-3-5 and though I know this monstrous flop spells disaster I bet out anyway and I’m called in 3 places. Turn is 6 and I check. The guy in the 10 seat who quite possibly lived with and hunted dinosaurs with spears bets and I call. River is a J and I check-call. He has 6-3 offsuit for 2 pair. Sigh.
I continue to drink Budweiser heavily. I’m UTG with AQ and raise pf. The nice, very attractive lady in the BB 3 bets and I know I’m screwed. Flop is A-Q-5. She bets and I raise. Still a couple other callers. She 3 bets. Son of a bitch. I call. River is a rag. She bets and I call with some other donkey. River is a blank. Bet, call, final donkey folds. AA > AQ. At least I finally got beat by a good hand. Is that a consolation? I walk over to Bill and watch him suck-out AJ>AK and we take a walk. He wants to see the Golden Nugget and a nice lady worker guides us there. Bill tells me he gave the bead girl my business card with my cell phone number. I laugh and we go back to poker.

10 minutes later my phone rings. Bill has what he thinks is a funny joke to call me from the same poker room and I can see him from 15 feet away looking at his phone. I look at my phone but it’s not Bill calling. It’s a 702 number-Vegas. You have to be kidding me. He really gave her my [censored] card. I don’t answer. I play up to my BB and pick up my chips. I walk over to Bill’s table which is down to like 4 players. Some middle aged ugly donkey man with army-issued goggles goes all in preflop for his last 40 bucks with nothing but the 1-2 blinds at stake. Bill calls with KK, 'Goggles'-which Bill has called him 5 times in last 12 seconds has A-10. The flop brings an ace and Bill has 13 bucks left. He gives it to the dealer and we take a walk. Bill announces “I hate you goggles” to the ugly dude and we leave. 2 ½ hours -$70.

I had mentioned to Bill that they sell decks of cards with all the casino logos on them for a buck downtown and he wants to buy some. We go in and he starts with the finger in the face [censored] again. He asks the security guard here as well if he can pay him to beat me up. Guard looks at me and says no. Bill then comes up and punches me in the back of the head-not hard but it’s been enough. He runs away when I turn around and runs into a display case hard. Had to hurt. I pay for my 3 decks of cards and go outside to wait for Bill. He buys like 9 decks and is carrying his plastic bag. I run up and try to smack the stupid out of the back of his head-extremely hard. He stumbles and drops the bag which I promptly run up and kick the crap out of. Decks go everywhere. I'm sure the overhead canopy downtown has never seen such a sight. Bill chases me and while backing up I reach up and slap him. “Stop chasing me Bill, this won’t end well for you.” He chases me more and I continue to smack him and dodge his feeble attempts at revenge. He finally gives up goes to picking up decks of cards. We are supposed to be going to the bus but I guess Bill is really pissed and starts walking the other way. I yell to him the bus is this way but he flips me off and keeps walking.

I talk to a girl at the bus stop and she asks if the guy carrying the bag is my friend. I say yes and she tells me I better go get him because he’s going to lose all his money and he’s wasted. Not my problem anymore, done babysitting. He only has 100 left from the 300 I gave him anyway. I talk with her for awhile and ask her to wake me up at the Flamingo if I pass out on the bus. She says she will. She remembers about 30 seconds to late and wakes me up as we’re passing the Flamingo. I get off at Planet Hollywood and start the walk back. When I’m going up the outdoor escalator to cross the street I experience an African-American hooker proposal.

Street worker-Where are you going?
Me- home
SW- Where’s home?
Me- Flamingo
SW- Can I go with you?
Me- NO
SW- It would be a lot of fun.
Me- I’m sure it would but I need to be responsible.
SW- You can be responsible. Not being responsible is going out and getting drunk.
Me- I already did that.
SW- So let me come with you. We will have a good time.
Me- Not tonight, thanks.

She turns to another girl following her, I guess a hooker in training, and tells her I’m grouchy. I laugh at this and wonder how exactly it is that I’m grouchy since I tell her I’m just not interested.

Recap-+$98 for the day, -$621 for the trip. 1 shot of Tequilla, 4 Pina Colada’s and 6 Bud’s. 1 ass grab, 1 massage’, 1 nipple pinch and one prostitute encounter. 1 well deserved bitch slapping of Bill.

Next issue: The end of Bill's night downtown, lots of poker, return to the 'V'.

[CincyLady]

Wonderful story so far, keep it coming.

BTW, when I was in Vegas a few weeks ago, I found the Golden Nugget the home of all the wanna be players (translate, home game crowd), who will call you with just about anything.

I really liked the 1/2 NL game at Binions.