What GOD says about oral sex

[forshure]

I thought it was obv satirical as well, but the threesome one sounds pretty serious and caused me to question whether or not it was actually a satire.

[Sephus]

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My boyfriend and I drink each other's semen. We don’t have oral sex because we believe it is forbidden by the scripture. We believe that it is the way God intended us to be - just like David and Jonathan.

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You can't make this stuff up.

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?

[suzzer99]

As long as Jesus still gives me a hug when I get to heaven...



Who knew JC was 6'5 and buff?

[protocol]

Clearly a joke. Do you think anyone could actually reach this conclusion from this passage?

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Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4)


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[chaucerchick]

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Clearly a joke. Do you think anyone could actually reach this conclusion from this passage?

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Another suggestive scripture tells of a woman’s pride in her “valley” (referring to her buttocks and the cleft between them) and entices her lover to ejaculate against her backside: "How boastful you are about the valleys! O backsliding daughter who trusts in her treasures, {saying,} ' Who will come against me?' (Jeremiah 49:4)


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I went to Orthodox Jewish schools until i was 18. The way that Jewish laws are derived is by reading and interpreting the language of the Old Testament. Very often, the rabbis who interpreted the text would make huge decisions based on their interpretation of just one word, or even a letter or a stroke that was added to or taken away from a letter.

reading the gemara, the text that basically records the conversations that took place when discussing how to interpret the OT, you can see that it's not at all ridiculous to use one word to make a sweeping claim, it's something that religions have been doing for thousands of years.

the word "valley" could easily mean butt, or "bitter water" semen. they weren't exactly liberated in biblical times, and there was no way the bible would outline a specific sex act. the hebrew word for sex in the OT is "la-da'at", literally "to know." is "valley" meaning "butt" any crazier than "knew" meaning "had sex with?" or even "lie with" meaning "having sex with?" hell, today we say "slept with" instead of using taboo language.

it seems to me like this guy is pretty serious, and while i don't think we should look to the bible for sexual guidance, i applaud him for having the nerve to publish his own interpretation, misguided though it may be, of the text that he has chosen by which to live his life. far too many people just blindly accept the interpretations of others, and while they "know" they have to follow this text to get into heaven, they are unwilling to deviate from their parents' and teachers' explanations of it.

cliffs notes: "valley" could easily be a euphemism for "butt," making religious laws based on one word is nothing new, and props to the author of the "sex in christ" website for reading the bible his way.

[maryfield48]

I lost count, what level are we on now?

[nath]

I actually think this guy is being serious. And if so, this is completely awesome.