I need advice on achieving my goals wrt sexual intercourse

[cambraceres]

Learn to relax, that really will help you. Problem is, to be relaxed, you have to be comfortable, which implies either confidence or being at home. Just go out with your guy friends, or make some first. That part is easy, then disregard everything they say about women. Talk to girls who appear self conscious, always be authoritative.

And don't seem nice, even though you obviously are.

Cam

[Suigin406]

madnak, i used to pretty much be like u when college started...make some changes and adjust...styling ur hair and being funny are very nice ideas...i think someone here hit right on the head about getting friends as u need to get comfortable around people first before u move on...also, have a disarming, laid back attitude, though i think u already have this...just keep at it and u'll come through nicely...good luck...

[BUTNAHHHH]

STICK TO JACKING OFF, SOUNDS LIKE UR DONE FOR

[jupiterpig]

Meet a nerdy girl on some online game and have uber sex over the internet!

[Guyon]

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Have you ever heard of social anxiety disorder? I've just recently been diagnosed, and am improving my socializing soooo much. Google it if ya want, just a thought.

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Good to hear...Out of curiosity, how have you made such improvements?

Also, isn't Xanax indicated in social AD?

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I exaggerated a bit, I've still got a lot of work to do. What I did though, is I finally got the balls to go to the counseling center on campus, and they referred me to an on campus psych. I've gone through some CBT (Cognitive-behavioral therapy), and so far it has really started to help. Also I've been reading up some self help stuff that has also helped somewhat.

Yeah I think xanax can be used. From what I've read the most effective meds for SA are MAOIs, which I'm kinda scared to take. I've heard good things about kava though, and I might give that a shot.

I got a lot of info here-> Socialfear.com

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SSRI's are the rave now, (Paxil specifically for what you describe). I'd give that a shot before Kava or MAOI's...I took it for a couple months after I had an issue with panic attacks, social anxiety, and death grieving. I was outgoing to begin with, but this helped me get through it.
CBT has also quite helpful at keeping panic attacks in check. Basically, recognizing the symptoms as they are increasing, breathing, and saying "Dude, chill the [censored] out."

Also, I find that taking Xanax 0.5 or 1 mg before big speeches or events that you know will trigger anxiety or reclusiveness can be extremely helpful. Of course, doctors are reluctant to prescribe this freely because of its addictive and tolerance-building properties (Big downside).

[mattmcegg]

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Talk to girls who appear self conscious, always be authoritative.

And don't seem nice, even though you obviously are.

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Bad advice.

Dont BE anything. Just be and [censored] everyone who doesnt like it. Seriously, just consciously tell yourself that. There are people that will spend time with you, and believe it or not, have sex with you. Sex really isnt that big of a deal like everyone raves. Yea, its awesome, but dont flood your heads with reasons why you are, are not, or should be getting laid.

edit: and you dont need drugs to help you either (but booze helps [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img])

edit edit: oh and stop sitting in your room by yourself playing video games and stop beating off.

[Eaglebauer]

Lot of bad advice in here, bro. My advice is to find a better place for advice.

[MatthewRyan]

op - Do the following tomorrow:

1. goto the gym. - this will build confidence. (you can find good workout programs all over this site or just google)

2. Chit-chat with 2 people - I dont care if you have to start small, like asking the girl at starbucks if an xxxx is good and giving her a smile. You need to learn how to talk to strangers.

Those are 2 immediate things you can do.

The other long term stuff should start at making friends as already mentioned. A loner, dorky, shy, poor guy is not going to get laid. making friends/meeting people/working out/poker=profit should do you well long term.

[madnak]

Thanks for the concrete goals. I'll do that.

[diebitter]

madnak,

Hope this helps

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