Worst beating off experience

[jackflashdrive]

I was on a transatlantic flight and some barely legal hottie was sitting a bit in front of me and across the aisle. Coach airline seat way too small for me and my boner -- one of us had to go. But I want a neked body to go with her cute face so I pop my laptop open. Lights are off and everyone is sleeping, and I have a screen on my laptop that prevents anyone not viewing at a direct angle from seeing. I plug headphones in the headphone jack so nobody can hear and drag the volume all the way down. I just want 2 seconds of nakedity before I shoot into the bathroom sink.

I open the pron with my laptop open at like a 45 degree angle so that even I can just barely see it. I don't hear any sound so I know things are OK. However, I had opened the movie to the very beginning where there wasn't any sound for me to hear because this particular video is one of those 'let's drive around and pick up a real chick' movies where in the beginning it is all driving and no sexing. I raise the volume to a little below medium -- where I am certain nobody is gonna hear the sound coming out of my headphones. I don't hear any sound so I think wtf I don't need sound anyway it isn't worth the risk.

Then I click on a later point in the movie where I expect to find some titties and out of my computer speaks comes "yes yes [censored] me ya do it." I HAD PLUGGED MY HEADPHONES INTO THE MICROPHONE JACK!!?!!

Now, I had turned the volume up to about 25%, but my computer has pretty loud speakers and we are on a dead-silent plane so everyone within about ten seats heard me and there were two kids sleeping behind me. THIS IS NOT THE WORST PART!

I immediately close the vid window but there is a delay of like 5 seconds before media player actually closes. This was the longest 5 seconds of my life -- the woman beside me who was sleeping with one of those eye-shields over her face TOOK THE EYE SHIELD OFF and gave me a look of utter disgust. The sexy girls mother leaned way across her daughter to get a look at wear the sex was coming from and glared back at me. Then, staring right at me, she pressed the 'call' button to bring the flight attendant back.

So I see the flight attendant walking back towards us and I know I am about to be arrested or something and end up on the news. Just then, thank god, a miracle happens that completely saves me from utter embarrassment.

I hear a weird noise come from my side of the plane -- it sounded like someone hitting the bottom of a tin can three times -- clank, clank, clank. The captain immediately and simultaneously puts on the fasten seatbelt sign and announces that flight attendants should take their seats.

The mother gives me one more really dirty look for good measure and then looks forward again.

The plane begins losing altitude for about thirty seconds -- it feels like slowly descending in an elevator. Then, all of a sudden, the plane drops like a damn stone. We crash in the Atlantic and -- long story short -- the only two people who survive are me and the hot chicks mother. I have to wait with her in a raft for about four hours with her as she cries about her dead daughter. Although she didn't say anything, and didn't mention the porn video to authorities when they picked us up.

[killsadie]

you seriously wrote all that?