jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 11

MatthijsH · #**101** 10-25-2007, 08:51 PM

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Story my roomie told me the other day :

He was hanging out with a friend who work at a different YMCA than he does and also present were four of his friends female staff members. They all know each other through the Y, but since my roomie works at a different Y, the 4 female staff members don't know him THAT well.

Somehow, they got on the topic of donating sperm and my roomies buddy told my roomie that he should donate his sperm because "he's got great sperm". I guess this line turned into the joke of the night between them all. So when my roomie was departing from the group, while hugging one of the female staff members, she says to him "You have great sperm" to which my roomie replies "Yes, I do. You should taste it sometime".

He said there was awkward silence aand weird looks all around.

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LMAO thats awesome

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ROFL

React1oN · #**102** 10-25-2007, 08:54 PM

Too many posts in this thread are right on so I'll just quote.

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In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

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Your classmates are dull

[/ QUOTE ]completely agree

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if your jokes never flop you don't make enough of them

[/ QUOTE ]Right completely

Also OP, I would have laughed at "OR ARE YOU!?!" and it's not even close.

Kimbell175113 · #**103** 10-25-2007, 08:56 PM

Yeah, "or are you" is funny as [censored].

Khaos4k · #**104** 10-25-2007, 09:06 PM

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Story my roomie told me the other day :

He was hanging out with a friend who work at a different YMCA than he does and also present were four of his friends female staff members. They all know each other through the Y, but since my roomie works at a different Y, the 4 female staff members don't know him THAT well.

Somehow, they got on the topic of donating sperm and my roomies buddy told my roomie that he should donate his sperm because "he's got great sperm". I guess this line turned into the joke of the night between them all. So when my roomie was departing from the group, while hugging one of the female staff members, she says to him "You have great sperm" to which my roomie replies "Yes, I do. You should taste it sometime".

He said there was awkward silence aand weird looks all around.

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For a group that was finding sperm jokes funny, I can't believe this didn't kill.

DonkeyKongSr · #**105** 10-25-2007, 09:11 PM

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Story my roomie told me the other day :

He was hanging out with a friend who work at a different YMCA than he does and also present were four of his friends female staff members. They all know each other through the Y, but since my roomie works at a different Y, the 4 female staff members don't know him THAT well.

Somehow, they got on the topic of donating sperm and my roomies buddy told my roomie that he should donate his sperm because "he's got great sperm". I guess this line turned into the joke of the night between them all. So when my roomie was departing from the group, while hugging one of the female staff members, she says to him "You have great sperm" to which my roomie replies "Yes, I do. You should taste it sometime".

He said there was awkward silence aand weird looks all around.

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For a group that was finding sperm jokes funny, I can't believe this didn't kill.

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Yeah, I don't understand how her joke can be funny to them and his wasn't absolutely hilarious. It was like the perfect culmination of the great sperm jokes.

Astyanax · #**106** 10-25-2007, 11:00 PM

Great thread and that last one is just priceless!

EscapePlan9 · #**107** 10-26-2007, 12:02 AM

I sometimes randomly respond to something a friend says with "your mom [whatever they said last]". Sometimes it doesn't even make sense, but I felt like saying it anyway. I feel like someone has to help revitalize the "your mom" jokes!

siouxbrew · #**108** 10-26-2007, 01:05 AM

i was in 9th grade spanish class. The teacher wanted to play telephone. She started up somthing like lavar el carro or something simple like that. I switched it to yo doy muy bien cabeza. It finally works its way back to the teacher she repeats it aloud then translates it. I give very good head. She had no clue what it meant and apparently me and my friend were the only ones who did. We got a good laugh out of it but that was about it.

ScottieK · #**109** 10-26-2007, 01:41 AM

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A close friend was involved in a relationship with a married woman. After weeks of begging for anal sex, she finally obliged. As they concluded, she made her way to the bathroom and said "Oh God I'm bleeding".

Casually, he stated, "Don't worry, I know how to sew". Needless to say, this did not go over well with her.

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Yowza. Definitely one you tell your friends afterwards, because they will appreciate it more.

Trying to think of one of my many bombed jokes, but I can't right now. Probably a missed movie reference or something like that.

ScottieK

TexRef · #**110** 10-26-2007, 01:52 AM

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Somehow the topic of ceiling mirrors came up and I said they would be awesome. My sister-friend said "yea of course you'd like it, then the guy could look up and see everything." To which I responded "ohhh so now I know you ride on top of Taylor when you have sex"...the ex girlfriend did not like that at all and there was a long long awkward silence. Oops!

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The correct joke here is that the mirror would have written on it ... "Objects may be larger than they appear"