I have no idea what to do here...kind of long...end of rope stuff...

[timotheeeee]

Yesterday I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating, and I broke up with her.

I'm in Chicago, and she went to Georgia over the weekend to find an apartment for us because I'm supposed to start law school in a couple weeks. I now have absolutely no motivation to go. I kind of didn't really want to go in the first place (when I was first applying), because I was going nowhere in life with crappy jobs and I wanted to do something with myself. But now I just flat out don't want to go. But, again, my BA in polysci isn't worth it's weight in dung, and so I've been floundering around for the past 2 years with crappy jobs. I've been a stellar student my entire life, and it depresses me to know that after all my effort in school, I'm basically a nothing.

If I decide to go to school, I have to move down to Georgia and take out a $45,000 loan; which kind of scares me because that's heavy cash when I'm depressed and unmotivated. Obviously that kind of investment is not to be [censored] with unless you're not messing around.

If I don't go to law school this year, I'll be applying for other graduate programs for next year. But but the thought of another year of being an office assistant is wretched; every day I feel I die a little bit and that I contribute nothing to anything. Moreover, there's been a huge build-up with my family and co-workers about going off to school to do something better with myself. Both have already thrown going-away parties and congratulated me en masse, and I don't even want to think about the embarrassment of me showing up to work next Wednesday, the day I'm officially not an employee and the day I'm supposed to drive to Georgia.

I badly stuttered through this situation with my boss (I am a horrible speaker, and fear public speaking---> I am dumb for applying to law school), since I've taken on twice the responsibilities over the past year of working there, and I told her that I'd be willing to stay if I received a salary adjustment; my job is a lot closer to office manager than office assistant. I heard through a friend in HR that she put in a change form for a 10% increase, from 30k to 33k. This made me more pissed and dejected; I could have legitimately asked for twice my current salary. But, it is something, and the job has full benefits, including some tuition reimbursement if I want to take some classes at night. Plus an HR woman sat me down today and for 40 minutes was trying hard to get me to stay, floating around specters of advancement and bonuses. Everyone loves me over there, and they all want me to stay (despite also being happy for me going to school), but I just can't get over how little, money-wise, they value me. It honestly offends me. Half of me wants to take that risible 3k raise and wipe my ass with it; the other half just wants to feel glad I've got a stable job and a pleasant work place, and work on applying for other grad progams and getting on with my life, post-cheating [censored].

My girlfriend found an apartment only a few blocks away from the school, and feels bad enough about what she did to pay her half while living somewhere else until I find a roommate (2 bedroom apt), which is a pretty sweet deal. Most of her crap is still here in Chicago, as she was too busy cheating to pack it up herself while I've been at work (she was off for the summer--->teacher). I've been packing it for her, but she said she'll fly up and do it herself. So all I really have to do is throw my [censored] in a car and head south, and I literally own only some chess and poker books and a few articles of clothing. It would take me a half hour. I can be out of this dreary situation tonight if I wanted and have a JD in 3 years, or I can trudge through another year of wasting away, and study something else afterwards. I don't know; both sides have their definite ups and downs. I know $45k isn't to be tinkered with, but this job just drains me; I leave the house at 6:30, I get back at 6:30, and I drink pretty much every night. I know I'll stop the drinking when in school (I'm not an alci, just to depressed/bored to do anything else), which I really want to do.

One last piece of info--last Friday my car broke down and flat out died; there will be no fixing it. So now I have no car. Existance will be a lot easier without a car on a campus than it will be in the expanse of Chicago. In school a bike will get me any place I need to be, while here I'd be forced into buying a car or making life that much more difficult.

Ugh...Please, advice. The majority on this board will probably be the deciding factor.

[RunDownHouse]

Where in GA? UGA?

[timotheeeee]

[ QUOTE ]
Where in GA? UGA?

[/ QUOTE ]

That's where I got my undergrad, but I'd be going to Mercer in Macon. I decided to apply there because my girlfriend's family is there (and they're basically my family, too). But I'd now be isolated in middle Georgia a.k.a. the smelly crotch of humanity, without a car. I can get around Macon just fine, but if I ever, say, want to get to an airport or perhaps the next town over, I don't know what I'd do. I have a lot of family in Chicago.

[stu-unger]

leaving chicago for atl and school was the biggest mistake ive ever made, suck it up for a year and go to one of the many good law schools in the the chi next fall...

[timotheeeee]

[ QUOTE ]
leaving chicago for atl and school was the biggest mistake ive ever made, suck it up for a year and go to one of the many good law schools in the the chi next fall...

[/ QUOTE ]

If I waited a year, it wouldn't be law school I'd be going to. I'd rather not have to deal with public speaking and wading through contract law (among others). Like I said, it was mostly an expedient to get my act together. I don't know how I'll handle another year of this crap, along with the depression of the split.

I'm terrified either way.

[SoloAJ]

Too young to give good advice but I hope you get things straightened out. The dead car is just a small pinch of salt on an already salted wound it sounds like...but every bit hurts when it's pourin on huh?

Hope things get better for you man.

[guids]

Im going to be a complete ass here:




Most everyone feels underpaid, underappreciated, under-whatever at their job, very very rarely are they. Say you get bumped up 15k, in 6 months from now, the old feelings of being under-appreciated etc are going to creep back up (I was in a similar situation also). Its weird, if you get your raise, etc, its not going to make things much better. Your girlfriend needs to go, imo, you sound extremely unhappy and negative when you bring her up, she seem like a security blanket (but, hey, this is the internet what do I know). And honestly, you dont seem excited about law school, I think for someone in your situation you need to get rid of the things that you can, that are negative (gf, etc), and find a job you really really think would be cool, rather than trudging through law school, being somewhat resentful about the 45k when school sucks (speaking from experience here), and jumping into something that you dont really know youll like. GL though, Im off to get drunk.

[Jdanz]

definetely talk to the boss again, and ask for more. Go from there.

I wouldn't want to go to law school in the middle of nowhere, knowing no one, for 6 figures, if i wasn't sure i wanted to be a lawyer.

Got any interests?

[chesspain]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm supposed to start law school in a couple weeks. I now have absolutely no motivation to go. I kind of didn't really want to go in the first place (when I was first applying), because I was going nowhere in life with crappy jobs and I wanted to do something with myself.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I've been floundering around for the past 2 years with crappy jobs.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm depressed and unmotivated.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Every day I feel I die a little bit and that I contribute nothing to anything.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I heard through a friend in HR that she put in a change form for a 10% increase, from 30k to 33k. This made me more pissed and dejected;

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I just can't get over how little, money-wise, they value me. It honestly offends me. Half of me wants to take that miserible 3k raise and wipe my ass with it;

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I drink pretty much every night. I know I'll stop the drinking when in school (I'm not an alci, just to depressed/bored to do anything else), which I really want to do.

[/ QUOTE ]

Tim,

Everything you've said above strongly suggests that you have a serious alcohol problem. You are depressed, unmotivated, easily bored, entitled, barely grateful for what you have, and have a habit of drinking every night. You are like the poster child for alcoholism. For all I know, your girlfriend was at the end of her rope as well, for I can't imagine that you were much fun to be around--and likely not interested in even considering the possibility that you had an alcohol problem.

I think that you are right to question whether you are in the proper frame of mind to be making such a huge change in your life right now as a relocation and entry into law school. However, you won't find the answer inside of a bottle. I hope you will consider quitting drinking TODAY. If you can't do it on your own, consider going to A.A.--assuming that you even care enough about yourself to get better.

Sincerely,

Dr. Chess

[DrewDevil]

I am a lawyer and I can tell you straight: if you are not 100% positive you want to be a lawyer, law school is the last place you should be.

The first year of law school is very difficult--as difficult as any year in American academia. Not only that, but it is very important in terms of your first job out of law school. If you aren't ready to take it on full throttle, it will be exceedingly difficult for you to do well.

Plus, you can always defer for a year and make sure it's really what you want to do. I would suggest doing that. Sure, you'll get some puzzled looks and questions from friends and family, but just tell them you weren't ready to make such a big change. They'll understand.

About the girl... sorry to hear that. But just remember, girlfriend is not the same as wife. She shouldn't have deceived you, of course, but it's not adultery. It's not the end of the world. You can still date her and other people too--it doesn't have to be exclusive. It can be whatever you want. If you're not ready to end the relationship, it doesn't have to end. But if you can't get past the deception and/or the fact that she slept with someone else, then that's fine too.

Good luck.