jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[eviljeff]

In some college class we had to give a presentation related to biology. Two hotties are going on about making some massive genetic database so we can trace our ancestry. Discussion comes up about finding out you're related to Hitler, etc. At the end of the crappy presentation the TA says, "Jane you didn't put your last name on the hard copy." Jane says, "Oh it's the same as hers, we're sisters." I call out from the back, "OR ARE YOU????" Silence.

Recently walked down to the corner deli for a sandwich. The guys all know me there because I get food there at least 4 times a week. It's like 1 am and the grill is inexplicably COVERED in bacon. I feign looking at the menu, point, and say, "Yes I'd like the TWELVE POUNDS OF BACON, please." Stare. "Uh, actually I'll have a godfather."

[kipin]

hahahahaha I would have laughed at the "OR ARE YOU????" joke.

I have jokes that bomb all the time because they are so f'ing corny but I can't help myself from making them.

Bombing a joke is pretty awesome tho, they can't all be a hit!

[otnemem]

But in most of these situations, I can at least ascertain why the flopee thought the line was funny.

[Tregan]

This is excellent. Tag for later when I have time to write about one of my many.

[Klompy]

I told a joke about retarded people to a group of people without knowing that one of the girl's brother had down syndrome. I'd say it flopped pretty hard.

[esad]

In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

[Isura]

[ QUOTE ]
In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your classmates are dull

[Yeti]

if your jokes never flop you don't make enough of them

[Oski]

I've had many. The one I regret the most is:

Back in 911 days, Chandra Levy was missing and there was speculation that Gary Condit had something to do with it.

Well, my joke was along the lines that, "Gary Condit issued a press release about the whearabouts of Chandra Levy. Good news: She contacted him this morning; Bad news, she was calling from the World Trade Center."

[Oski]

[ QUOTE ]
I told a joke about retarded people to a group of retarded people without knowing that all of them were retarded. I'd say it went over their heads.

[/ QUOTE ]