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  #21  
Old 08-05-2007, 10:11 AM
katyseagull katyseagull is offline
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]
If he were my son, I would inflict some direct physical violence on the asshat that did it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, you would actually have been confrontational on the field? Cool! I'm surprised, I wouldn't have expected that from you, diebitter. Would have made for quite an interesting spectacle if the parents in this story had done that. I would have loved to have seen it! I think a lot of parents don't react like that because they are afraid of getting their kid kicked off the team or making things uncomfortable for the kid, so they just sit there and fume.
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  #22  
Old 08-05-2007, 10:27 AM
katyseagull katyseagull is offline
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]


The ONLY time any coach should ever lay their hands on a player is when it is necessary to physically separate players when there is actual fighting going on. If anyone here thinks that there is ANY other legitimate justification for an adult to put his hands on a child, I’d like to hear it.

Bottom line for me given my experiences?

The real problem in most of these cases is the adults.

Kids will be kids, and they will do what is expected, that is….behave like kids.

It’s up to the adults to maintain a “big picture” perspective so that when these things happen they can be remediated in a manner that sets a good example for our children.

[/ QUOTE ]


Good post, Myrtle. I agree with you that the fact the coach is the parent of the quarterback is a very significant factor here. I think it explains his overreaction. He let the situation get personal instead of being completely professional and adult-like. Why the league does not see this is beyond me.

I have a good friend who played football throughout h.s. and who is really into sports. He takes the opposite view as you. He thinks kids are brats who need to be smacked and put in their place. He says that things are out of hand in youth sports today, that parents are too influential and that kids get away with smarting off. No amount of talking to him will sway him from this position. I told him I can't wait to see if he feels the same way when he has a kid in sports. He told me he will stand back and let the coach discipline his kid [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].
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  #23  
Old 08-05-2007, 11:21 AM
ChipWrecked ChipWrecked is offline
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

I never played organized football (our area didn't offer it, we was po'), but I did play basketball. How does a coach get a recalcitrant player's attention in basketball? Grabs him by the shoulder, usually. Does football gear prevent this?

Lou Holtz got in a world of [censored] for (among other things) holding players' facemasks while he yelled at them. And that was at National Champion Notre Dame.

Cliff notes: fire the asshat coach.
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  #24  
Old 08-05-2007, 12:21 PM
DrewDevil DrewDevil is offline
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If he were my son, I would inflict some direct physical violence on the asshat that did it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, you would actually have been confrontational on the field? Cool! I'm surprised, I wouldn't have expected that from you, diebitter. Would have made for quite an interesting spectacle if the parents in this story had done that. I would have loved to have seen it! I think a lot of parents don't react like that because they are afraid of getting their kid kicked off the team or making things uncomfortable for the kid, so they just sit there and fume.

[/ QUOTE ]

If I were there and this happened, I would seriously attack the coach right there on the field. No way I would just let this happen and then hire a freaking lawyer.
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  #25  
Old 08-05-2007, 08:45 PM
Myrtle Myrtle is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


The ONLY time any coach should ever lay their hands on a player is when it is necessary to physically separate players when there is actual fighting going on. If anyone here thinks that there is ANY other legitimate justification for an adult to put his hands on a child, I’d like to hear it.

Bottom line for me given my experiences?

The real problem in most of these cases is the adults.

Kids will be kids, and they will do what is expected, that is….behave like kids.

It’s up to the adults to maintain a “big picture” perspective so that when these things happen they can be remediated in a manner that sets a good example for our children.

[/ QUOTE ]


Good post, Myrtle. I agree with you that the fact the coach is the parent of the quarterback is a very significant factor here. I think it explains his overreaction. He let the situation get personal instead of being completely professional and adult-like. Why the league does not see this is beyond me.

I have a good friend who played football throughout h.s. and who is really into sports. He takes the opposite view as you. He thinks kids are brats who need to be smacked and put in their place. He says that things are out of hand in youth sports today, that parents are too influential and that kids get away with smarting off. No amount of talking to him will sway him from this position. I told him I can't wait to see if he feels the same way when he has a kid in sports. He told me he will stand back and let the coach discipline his kid [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img].

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy……

Depends on one’s definition of brats.

At what age are we talking of branding kids as ‘brats’?

Your friend is right when he says that parents are too influential and that kids get away with smarting off.

Ask him who lets them get away with it?

Your friend has some serious problems if he thinks that the solution is smacking a kid and putting them ‘in their place”.

Ask him if it worked with him?

If he ‘stands back and lets the coach discipline his child’ he can’t see the forest for the trees, because that’s not the issue at all.

The issue is that it is a parent’s responsibility to teach their children proper behavior, not to leave it to a coach (or a teacher, or the police, or the state).

Sports bring out the best and worst in most of us.
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  #26  
Old 08-06-2007, 08:05 AM
katyseagull katyseagull is offline
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Posts: 5,466
Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]



Your friend is right when he says that parents are too influential and that kids get away with smarting off.

Ask him who lets them get away with it?

Your friend has some serious problems if he thinks that the solution is smacking a kid and putting them ‘in their place”.



[/ QUOTE ]

Myrtle,

In fairness to my friend, I think he may be joking when he says that kids these days need to be smacked. I'm not really sure though. Also, I think he means that parents are too influential with youth sports and coaches. They come onto the field and they interfere. They complain about how much play time their kids get and what positions their kids are stuck playing, etc. He's not the only one I heard this kind of stuff from. This happens to be a local story and you wouldn't believe how many people at my office sided with the coach and not the parents of Ricky. I was surprised by the overwhelming support of the coach just based on the facts as I presented them in my OP.

There was one guy at my work, however, who sided with Ricky's parents. He happens to be a football coach for his own son's team. He told me that a coach should never swing a kid by his face mask and it should have been grounds for firing.

I think it's interesting that DrewDevil and Diebitter would have confronted the coach immediately. That's probably the best solution, actually. It doesn't hurt that they are towering and scary looking (j/k! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]). My sister says it's hard to know when to step in and complain to coaches. The culture of male sports in her small town is rather intimidating and they scoff at her a lot. I can just picture it now - "hey uh, excuse me sir, but could you not swing my kid by the head anymore, thx! I really appreciate it [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]. "
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  #27  
Old 08-06-2007, 09:32 AM
DrewDevil DrewDevil is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2006
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

Oh yeah, I go about 6'10, 295, so I'm pretty intimidating. Not really. But I would definitely react immediately if I saw something like this.

Tell sis to carry a truncheon to games with her, so she can kneecap any coaches who get out of line.
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  #28  
Old 08-06-2007, 09:48 AM
4_2_it 4_2_it is offline
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Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

Wow. A lot of blame to pass around here. First, the coach over-reacted by grabbing the face mask and spinning the kid. Absolutely no reason to do that. He could have grabbed him by the shoulder pads and achieved the same result.

Next, the kid's parents sound like they enjoy living vicariously through their little Joe Montana. Dad should have settled things that day with the coach. Lawsuits and written apologies are ridiculous.

Finally, the league should have stepped in and disciplined the coach for his actions. I have coached several youth sports (though not football) and every league that I have been a part had a very clear "Do NOT strike a kid" rule.

So nobody looks good here and the kids receive the worst message possible. Sadly, this is becoming all too standard in youth sports today.
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  #29  
Old 08-06-2007, 05:53 PM
Myrtle Myrtle is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 3,100
Default Re: Who\'s at fault, the parents or the coach?

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]



Your friend is right when he says that parents are too influential and that kids get away with smarting off.

Ask him who lets them get away with it?

Your friend has some serious problems if he thinks that the solution is smacking a kid and putting them ‘in their place”.



[/ QUOTE ]

Myrtle,

In fairness to my friend, I think he may be joking when he says that kids these days need to be smacked. I'm not really sure though. Also, I think he means that parents are too influential with youth sports and coaches. They come onto the field and they interfere. They complain about how much play time their kids get and what positions their kids are stuck playing, etc. He's not the only one I heard this kind of stuff from. This happens to be a local story and you wouldn't believe how many people at my office sided with the coach and not the parents of Ricky. I was surprised by the overwhelming support of the coach just based on the facts as I presented them in my OP.

There was one guy at my work, however, who sided with Ricky's parents. He happens to be a football coach for his own son's team. He told me that a coach should never swing a kid by his face mask and it should have been grounds for firing.

I think it's interesting that DrewDevil and Diebitter would have confronted the coach immediately. That's probably the best solution, actually. It doesn't hurt that they are towering and scary looking (j/k! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]). My sister says it's hard to know when to step in and complain to coaches. The culture of male sports in her small town is rather intimidating and they scoff at her a lot. I can just picture it now - "hey uh, excuse me sir, but could you not swing my kid by the head anymore, thx! I really appreciate it [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]. "

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy,

I just responded to what you wrote, dear.

A little more clarity (as you did in the follow up response) would have changed the context of my response to you on this subject.

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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