A unique "fear" of playing

[demon102]

I have a fear of losing money, which has caused me to procrastinate playing poker for real money. I have been using some self help techniues with some success which I think might help u out. I use mainly 2 methods one are "affirmations" and the other I use while I am playing for fear and also to get rid of tilt that is called the "sedona method". Google it and check it out, it will prolly help if ur consisent with it.

[kkcountry]

this is an everyday problem with me [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[Sid Simelia]

This is a new problem with me, I was a freeroller that moved from two dollars to being overrolled for six dollars in a couple months. Recently I tried to move up to twelve dollar sngs and I fell flat on my face. I lost like a quarter of my bankroll in one day.
I wasn't the best player at the table, but I did get my money in good at least half the time and I was running really bad.
I swallowed my pride and dropped back down, and I moved back up like two days ago. I have been profitting, and running pretty good, but now I don't want to play because I don't want to find out I suck at these levels and have to drop back down again. I recently started playing micro cash games too, and while I am winning almost every session, I am afraid to buy back in. I'm not familiar with cash games as opposed to STTs and MTTs so I am playing lowest limit and trying to learn the differences.
I think it's just fear of running bad, running into better players, and either breaking even or losing.
Breaking even isn't the worst thing in the world, you can always make enough to play tournys at least and make that one lucky score some day.

[whangarei]

[ QUOTE ]
Alex,

This was basically me last year. Eventually I figured out that deep down, the pain of losing was greater than the joy of winning. I expected to win everytime I played (I miss you, Party. Come back), so it was a pretty big letdown when I didn't, even though logically I understood the concept of variance. I had a personal attachment to losing, like a bad session was a failure.

1- Stop caring about money. You don't need that much, and you have some. Whatever happens on that single day won't make a difference in your life and will likely be forgotten within a week.

2- Realize that everytime you play, you're there to make decisions, not make money. It's not enough to just say "okay, yeah I understand ev, don't be results oriented, blah blah..." You actually have to convince yourself 100%.

3-

4- Profit!

[/ QUOTE ]

Bones, great advice! Thanks! The problem OP and others have talked about in this thread applies very much to me as well.

Your point about "Whatever happens on that single day won't make a difference in your life and will likely be forgotten within a week." is spot on and is pretty easy for me to implement.

Your second point is more difficult to implement. I fully understand logically about EV decisions, and bad results are often really good in the long run if I got my money in good, etc. But how do you "convince yourself 100%"? I am convinced 100% logically, but there is an emotional or some other level that brings the fear/anxiety/tilt when results don't go my way.

I'm also curious how you were able to achieve these insights? Has your fear/anxiety gone away entirely?

[john kane]

ive been playing for 3 years. the last 200K hands have been straight upwards, only one noticably downswing which i reversed. barely any 10K breakeven streaks. i sat down and always ran well (in 2007 something like $19K up than i should be on my all in hands).

last 50K hands now breakeven. i've lost all confidence and motivation. i sit down, play, sometimes win some, then i quit after losing a few buyins, regardless of how the hand played.

anytime i lose a 2 buyins i feel gutted, and wonder what i have done to deserve this.

i wish i could offer advice, but im probably in the top 1% of sufferers from this. ask anyone in msnl who has to put up with my moaning posts.

i'm now playing 2-4nl on a 375 buyin roll. how [censored] up is it that i get so frustrated by losing 2 buyins.

all about each day progressing to a more financially secure future. any day i lose, is a day wasted (unless i havent played and had fun going out etc)

[timotheeeee]

Exact same problem. I have no problem pushing all in on a stone bluff in nl, or 4 betting with nothing if I have a hunch the other guy will ignore pot odds and fold at limits much higher than I should be playing. But before I sit down, even if it's a $10 buy-in cash game, I get this dumb fear. I think it's a fear of failure, and it pretty much pervades my life, but it is understandably more pronounced with poker.

I don't know how to get rid of it, or even if there is a genuine way to, but thinking about how well I'm capable of playing and all the hard work I've put in (convincing myself I'm better than the other guy, and he should be afraid) oftentimes lifts me up.

[Black winter day]

I have the same problem whigh got worse lately even though i am winning.I absolutely hate to lose and everytime i am up a few buyins i force myself to stay and play if the games are soft.Since i don't want to stay, i play worse and scared and eventually have to quit by myself.

I don't know, how to get rid of this bs, i play hugely overrolled, i am a steady winner at the games, but for some reason, everytime i play i am afraid to lose.This usually doesn't prevent me from playing reasonably well, i bluff my fair share etc but the fear just keeps on.

I think, it's because all of those losing sessions where i got few bad beats, then few bad plays, then tilted a buyin or 2 away and felt just disgusted afterwards.Those sessions are rare but everytime they happen i just feel so bad i don't want them ever to happen.

I logically understand the idea of variance, but still those losses are usually hunting me for days.
I cashed out like 3/4 of my roll and i am still overolled for the games i play at, so there is no danger whatsoever of going bust and i have a lot of money in the bank yet i still have this irrational fear all the time during my play.
For some reason though, when i was in Vegas recently and played live a lot, i didn't have that fear...

Looking forward to helpful responses in this thread...

[kkcountry]

[ QUOTE ]

For some reason though, when i was in Vegas recently and played live a lot, i didn't have that fear...

[/ QUOTE ]

while i'm lucky to play 500 hands online a day, i don't have a problem playing 8-12 hour sessions live! it's absolutely bizarre and depressing. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[bones]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Alex,

This was basically me last year. Eventually I figured out that deep down, the pain of losing was greater than the joy of winning. I expected to win everytime I played (I miss you, Party. Come back), so it was a pretty big letdown when I didn't, even though logically I understood the concept of variance. I had a personal attachment to losing, like a bad session was a failure.

1- Stop caring about money. You don't need that much, and you have some. Whatever happens on that single day won't make a difference in your life and will likely be forgotten within a week.

2- Realize that everytime you play, you're there to make decisions, not make money. It's not enough to just say "okay, yeah I understand ev, don't be results oriented, blah blah..." You actually have to convince yourself 100%.

3-

4- Profit!

[/ QUOTE ]

Bones, great advice! Thanks! The problem OP and others have talked about in this thread applies very much to me as well.

Your point about "Whatever happens on that single day won't make a difference in your life and will likely be forgotten within a week." is spot on and is pretty easy for me to implement.

Your second point is more difficult to implement. I fully understand logically about EV decisions, and bad results are often really good in the long run if I got my money in good, etc. But how do you "convince yourself 100%"? I am convinced 100% logically, but there is an emotional or some other level that brings the fear/anxiety/tilt when results don't go my way.

I'm also curious how you were able to achieve these insights? Has your fear/anxiety gone away entirely?

[/ QUOTE ]

The insights came from really working to figure out the root of my problems. I'm naturally introspective and when I feel like I have an irrational fear or problem, I try to get to the source of it and work it out.

I've been intending to write a semi-long post in this forum, but here's the very abbreviated version. Basically all of my poker playing friends are significantly better than I am. It's become both frustrating and disheartening. The money doesn't really mean anything to me anymore, both on and off the table. I care much more about my development as a player than whether I win or lose in a particular session. That's opened up a whole new set of problems, but for the time being, it's helped me get over the "don't play out of fear of losing" mentality.

[ImsaKidd]

[ QUOTE ]
I've been intending to write a semi-long post in this forum, but here's the very abbreviated version. Basically all of my poker playing friends are significantly better than I am. It's become both frustrating and disheartening. The money doesn't really mean anything to me anymore, both on and off the table. I care much more about my development as a player than whether I win or lose in a particular session. That's opened up a whole new set of problems, but for the time being, it's helped me get over the "don't play out of fear of losing" mentality.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm looking forward to this post.

OP:

This is a difficult thing to overcome, I have definitely struggled with it before.

You said it yourself: You just have to start a session. Yes, this is much harder said than done. Think of your self-control as a muscle, you have to train it to make it stronger.

The next time you experience the problem, really try to just start a session. You can even tell yourself "OK, I will fire up X tables (assuming you play cash), and I can quit after as little as one orbit."

I would guess you play for a lot longer than just that first orbit. If you do quit after one orbit, you lose a few minutes, no big deal. But it is certainly better than screwing around all day, dreading play.