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#1
09-07-2007, 05:58 AM
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My jocular reply to spam flatshare email
I have an advert up on Moveflat.com and I just got this strange email:
I saw your advert on the web that you needed an apartment,so I will like you to answer these questions to enhance the next step, and I have to tell you that my price are cheap and negotiable. Answer these questions if you are willing to occupy the room 1.How many BR(Bedroom)do you want? 2.Do you have pets? 3.How many of you are coming to stay in the room? 4.How many Months or Years are you staying for? 5.What location would you like to move to? 6.Your Price Per Month? 7.If you have any other question don't hesitate to ask me. I await your response soonest before any bidder email me for the occupant of my house so we can proceed to the next step. Thanks Dr.Charles Hoyt C.E.O Hoyte Medical Supplies Here is my reply. I so hope he can help! Dear Dr.Charles Hoyt, C.E.O Hoyte Medical Supplies Thank you for replying to my advert. In answer to your questions: > 1.How many BR(Bedroom)do you want? One > 2.Do you have pets? Yes - iguana, gorilla, goat, a porpoise and a gaggle of geese. > 3.How many of you are coming to stay in the room? Nine - myself, my mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother (hard of hearing), great-grandmother (recently deceased), and two pretty girls I just saw on the bus. And also the animals. > 4.How many Months or Years are you staying for? Minimum stay will be 15 years. We are happy to pay all rent in advance. > 5.What location would you like to move to? We are open to consider several areas and varied climates. Do you have anywhere in Peru? > 6.Your Price Per Month? $100 maximum. > 7.If you have any other question don't hesitate to ask me. How will I know if she really loves me How will I know if she cares? I await your reply with anticipation at your earliest convenience. Best wishes Jimm 
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#3
09-07-2007, 08:27 AM
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Re: My jocular reply to spam flatshare email
His reply:
"Hello, I got your reply,but before I proceed with you,I will like to introduce you to the new Landlord and Tenant policy which states* he/she who want to rent a house or an apartment through Internet must be send a picture of the house or apartment first, he/she has to pay a month in advance to show seriousness and for security reasons to secure the property of the Landlord*. This policy was postulate because we have heard a news of some people who claim to be tenant and later turn out to be an armed robber which has happen to alot of people in the area. This money you are to pay in advance is refundable. The Policy later give you the tenant a maximum power to sue a Landlord who provide you with a false detail of his/her house that* If by any means,the picture sent does not tally or is different by any way without a notice to the incoming tenant and the tenant dims it possible to have a refund of money,money is refunded back immediately upon request and with a commision of 5% as a fee of being sorry for every inconvenience it might have caused you during the whole processes* . Any Landlord who fail to comply to this policy after you have paid he/she shall be sue to court.If you are doubting this new policy you can easily ask for any means of the identity(International Passport,Driving License,Working Id card or National Passport) of the Landlord . As a means of my assurance and guarantee,i can even offer to send you my passport alongside with the contract so you can see it and know that i am for real as my passport contains all details about me which you also know legally. If you can adhere to this, when you are ready, me and my mom are to take around the house and all things you need to know concerning the apartment. I await your response as soon as you receive this email from me immediately. Thanks for your understanding in anticipation. Dr Charles Hoyte C.E.O Hoyte Medical Supplies Telephone number:07024067470"
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#5
09-07-2007, 08:35 AM
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Re: My jocular reply to spam flatshare email
Well being that Dr. Hoyte is willing to bring his mother into this, I dim this transaction to be on the up and up! With his new policy of a 5% commission on any possible inconsistencies, I don't see how you could possibly lose.
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