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#91
10-17-2006, 01:05 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Poin,
I'm so sorry bro. I'll be lifting you and your wife up in prayer. --aj 
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#92
10-17-2006, 01:07 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
So sorry for your loss. I want to say thanks for allowing his body to be examined. Our lives changed so much for the better a year ago with the birth of our son. But without the benefit of medicine my guess is that both he and mom would be dead. Only science, human rationality, technology and medicine made things OK. Anything that contributes to that is good. We had to make a decision, an easy one we thought, about treatment and the doctor was happy we made it easily. I asked her why she seemed pleased, it was easy and obvious. She said that many people had goofy ideas and would delay treatment, stuff like that. It just shocked me, and since having a kid I have even less patience than I did before for anything irrational that would harm somebody, especially a kid. I can only imagine what you are going through since I could hardly get through the post. Hang in there, thanks again for making a good decision that might help a kid someday.
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#93
10-17-2006, 01:28 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
poin: I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story was beautifully written and you mention writing more about the experience. I think it might be good for you to write as much as you can, not necessarily for this forum, or for any public consumption, but for yourself and your wife and your future understanding of this event--though I bet it would help others who've suffered through a stillbirth to read such a detailed and empathetic account. I have to exit this thread now before my boss catches me weeping again...
good luck sir --GA
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#96
10-17-2006, 01:53 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
poincaroux,
It's nothing that hasn't already been said, but this is a beautifully tragic post. I'm not sure how you were able to write it, since I -- like so many others -- struggled to even read it. I frankly had no idea of the ordeal that parents of stillborn children must go through, and am both horrified and awed at your vivid descriptions of it. I've spent the last several minutes attempting to think of something that epitomizes "mental toughness" more than this, and nothing is coming to mind. That's my favorite thing about the human race, though; so often, when it is needed most, we go far, far beyond what we thought we were capable of. You're doing the right thing, turning to family and friends for support. In the coming months and years, remember that there is no "statute of limitations" on how long you grieve. At some point, friends and family won't ask how you're "holding up;" you'll return to your routine and your day-to-day life will resemble something close to normal; and if you choose to, you'll have more children. But none of that changes the fact that this event will stay with you for the rest of your life, and, most importantly, your support system around you will be able to help you for the rest of your life. It's okay to lean on them for support years from now, when powerful grief resurfaces, which it will from time to time. My deepest sympathies. -McGee
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#97
10-17-2006, 02:16 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Poincaraux,
Your post made me cry, for the first time in months. I wish you and your wife all the best in this difficult time. I deeply admire your strength and courage. A big hug, Wilco
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#98
10-17-2006, 02:38 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
This post made me cry as well. I am very sorry to hear about your loss.
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#99
10-17-2006, 02:41 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
Poin,
I have been thinking of how to respond to this post for like 12 hours and I don't think there is anything I can say that someone else hasn't already said. Your words capture raw, human emotions better than anything I have ever read. I am deeply sorry for your loss, and wish you the best as you go through a very hard time in your life. Stand tall, and please don't hesitate to ask the boards (and others closer to you for that matter) for help with anything should you feel you need it. Big bear hugs to you and your wife, -Josh
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#100
10-17-2006, 02:44 PM
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Re: Dealing with a loss (stillbirth)
So sorry for your loss.
My wife and I went through a miscarriage/stillbirth at 20+ weeks. Angel looked like a beautiful little doll about as long as my hand. All I could keep thinking was there are just some things no man should ever have to see. From my experience, all I can say is be there and be strong for your wife. Keep talking and listening. It sounds like you have a good family. Let them help as much as they are willing to. Again, so sorry for your loss.
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