I have no social skills, am incredibly boring, and want to end it

[Sciolist]

You don't have to talk to people all the time to be a worthwhile human being. Have you heard of the strong and silent type or whatever?

But, if you want to learn how to talk to people better, talk to people more. I'm no expert, but I decided at about 18 that it was a good idea to go out and practice, so out I went. It's the same as anything else, nobody comes with these things inbuilt, you gotta learn it.

[quirkasaurus]

The following advice is designed to give you an instant
socially acceptable, semi-universal conversational topics.

Asking people about their interests and family is a good
start. Being able to discern their interests and have at
least enough knowledge to ask intelligent questions helps.

Start following the big sports teams in your area. If no
NBA, NFL, MLB or NHL, then whatever college basketball
program is nearby. 90% of all men can relate to sports.

Start seeing the most popular movie during the week.
Follow up by watching old classics that you can get
from your library. This way, you have conversational
topics that will interest at least 90% of all females.

So there you go. Start with something safe and easy.

Family. Someone ELSE'S interests. Sports. Movies.

[xorbie]

Do you think it's possible you just don't find yourself interesting? Do you have anything to say that you yourself find interesting? Opinions, facts, favorite tv shows, political views, your theory on why tennis balls are yellow... doesn't matter, but if you suspect it's interesting someone else will as well.

[Ook]

Okay, what have you done for the 5 or so years between undergrad and applying for law school? Did you have trouble during undergrad finding people to hang with? Depression/anxiety are actually really good possibilities for you and you should be really careful about these. (Disliking hanging solo probably means you don't have schizoid personality disorder, but doesn't actually make depression less likely) Make sure you see your family doctor before you start law school. Going into a high stress environment like that with any sort of untreated psych stuff going on is gonna be bad.

[z28dreams]

Mason really made a great point earlier.

I find that the more I go out, and the bigger my social group is, the easier it is to talk to people.

It gives you all kinds of new stories, and mostly, PEOPLE to talk about. I noticed that lately I haven't been going out as much, and it's been a little harder for me to BS with people.

It's one thing to be a good listener, but to initiate conversation you really need to have some interests of your own that you can get excited talking about.

OP, how would you answer the question, "So what's up with you?"

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
your theory on why tennis balls are yellow

[/ QUOTE ]


tennis balls are green, dawg [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[z28dreams]

Lol ya.... OOT should provide you tons to talk about with your friends.

I think my roommates are now just used to me saying something like, "So I was reading this poker forum and I heard a story about....."

Obviously you can just change this to, "I was reading an article about...." and look slightly less degenerate.

[kidcolin]

[ QUOTE ]
It's hard to bring yourself out and want to talk to people until you feel really comfortable with yourself. Do you feel like a failure or someone who doesn't have a lot going on personality-wise or intellectually? If your passivity around people reflects a lack of involvement in your own life, maybe you could start to change that by doing more stuff and getting interested in more stuff. Then you'll have more to talk about and more people to talk about it with.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this. I'm mostly an introvert, but I'm very outgoing once I'm comfortable with my situation. Since I moved to a new city I've gone through bouts of sucking at life and not doing much at all. To fix it, I find activities to do and as a rule I become more social. Just recently I started playing basketball, working on my game and my conditioning. I've met a few cool dudes down at the court as a result, and find I'm more social than I give myself credit for.

[Fast Food Knight]

[Alobar]

Give therapy and meds a shot

You dont gotta read the news or pick up hobbies to be more interesting, the key to socializing is just asking people questions that allow them to talk about themselves, because thats all anyones main goal is in a conversation anyway.

But do get some hobbies you enjoy tho just cuz its good for you, and its also a good way to meet people with similar interests