social anxiety

oddjob · #1 05-07-2007, 01:27 PM

i just realized recently that as i get older, my social anxiety is getting worse and worse. i've always had it, but have been able to deawl with it well in the past, and be as normal as possible, but as i get older, i want to go out less and less.

this includes, and strangely enough, is sometimes worse with friends. like i'll have no problem being alone and out and about, or going to a bar, but meeting a group of friends is less and less appealling to me.

does anyone else have this kind of experience? anyone else dealign with this?

how screwed am i?

p.s. i'm poor and therapy is probably not an option.

wslee00 · #2 05-07-2007, 01:29 PM

wait - do you just not want to hang out with friends or are you actually more nervous hanging out with them?

oddjob · #3 05-07-2007, 01:31 PM

[ QUOTE ]
wait - do you just not want to hang out with friends or are you actually more nervous hanging out with them?

[/ QUOTE ]

i want to hang out with them, but i'm anxious about hanging out with them in any numbers greater then like 2-3, and for any lengths greater then an hour or two.

sometimes if there's a party or bbq, i'll be excited to see people, then when i get home, i just want to go home and hideaway.

also sometimes there'll be somethign going on with a big group, and i'll think of every excuse mentally, not to go.

i've also been dealing with some depression, so i'm sure that plays into it.

man · #4 05-07-2007, 01:34 PM

take a class in something you enjoy. go travelling. just find unpressured environments where you can meet people. and make sure you're hammered whenever you leave the house.

oddjob · #5 05-07-2007, 01:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
take a class in something you enjoy. go travelling. just find unpressured environments where you can meet people. and make sure you're hammered whenever you leave the house.

[/ QUOTE ]

i stopped getting hammered. doesn't mix well with my depression. i used to get super baked, but that makes me just socially retarded, and sometimes even more anxious. not to mention super tired.

man · #6 05-07-2007, 01:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
take a class in something you enjoy. go travelling. just find unpressured environments where you can meet people. and make sure you're hammered whenever you leave the house.

[/ QUOTE ]

i stopped getting hammered. doesn't mix well with my depression. i used to get super baked, but that makes me just socially retarded, and sometimes even more anxious. not to mention super tired.

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah I'm jk. I know how you feel. I've never felt that most parties or bars are places to meet people unless you already know tons of people there. I think that's mostly an introvert trait. key to meeting new people is spending time in places where you don't feel pressured either way.

just like anything else, things might get better when you stop worrying about them. try to find other things to do that you enjoy--whether it's madden or hiking, just try to keep yourself from brooding too much. I've known some people with depression, and as much as anything it just takes determination to get over.

themandude · #7 05-07-2007, 01:34 PM

I feel the same way odd, I have this problem too. Not exactly the same, but maybe we are just ment to be lone wolfs.

esad · #8 05-07-2007, 01:45 PM

There's nothing wrong with it. I feel the same way in many situations. I'd rather spend time with one friend for a couple of hours then with 6 friends in a loud room.

There is a theory that some people are more sensitive to outside stimuli then others. It causes them to naturally avoid prolonged periods of lots of stimulus. Do you have a tendency to kinda zone out when there are more people around and there is more stimuli for the brain to process? If so, then it could just be that you need more quiet time. There is nothing wrong with it.

wildzer0 · #9 05-07-2007, 01:51 PM

I actually used to have the same issues. I went on medication for it about 2 years ago and it made a huge difference. The thing for me was that after a few months (3-4) of taking medication, it was enough for me to get re-accustomed to going out without feeling freaked out and I was able to go off it without any recurring symptoms. I wasn't willing to stay on drugs as a permanent solution, so I figured on trying something different if that didn't work out but it turned out to be just what I needed to get everything back in line and I've not had any problems since.

oddjob · #10 05-07-2007, 01:53 PM

[ QUOTE ]
There's nothing wrong with it. I feel the same way in many situations. I'd rather spend time with one friend for a couple of hours then with 6 friends in a loud room.

There is a theory that some people are more sensitive to outside stimuli then others. It causes them to naturally avoid prolonged periods of lots of stimulus. Do you have a tendency to kinda zone out when there are more people around and there is more stimuli for the brain to process? If so, then it could just be that you need more quiet time. There is nothing wrong with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

actually, i think when i was younger, i used to zone out a lot, which would probably help me stay out. now i don't do it that much, and i just need that quiet time.

on top of the anxiety and depression, i get sweaty head (hyperhidrosis) when i'm anxious and nervous or just uncomfortable. and then i get anxiety about sweating, which makes things even worse.

the only time i'm completely comforable going out, is when i go out dancing. then i'm kinda in my own zone. i don't get anxiety dancing.