yet another girl dilemma for OOT

[ua1176]

i'll try to keep it short cause i know how much we hate this stuff.

i meet a girl. she is beautiful. real-world 8.5 probably OOT 6. i run into girl casually a few times. we make small talk. she is friendly + smart + has this wonderful ability to become interested in whatever you choose to talk to her about.

i get girl's phone #. because i possess at least some marginal degree of aptitude at life.

problem: i am an adjunct at a particular college where this girl is a student.

problem: my department chair is well aware that i think said girl is beautiful, and has warned me how he will rend me limb from limb should i pursue a student.

problem: i do a significant amount of real-world, non-academic work for said department chair, and he hooks me up big time w/ his business contacts.

HOWEVER she is not in the classes i teach, and she is 26 years old while i am 23.


so OOT- to what extent am i actually risking my job by pursuing this? and to what extent is it worth it?

[bisonbison]

You need to find out the official school policy on student-faculty relationships. Without this, our advice is roughly worthless.

[tuq]

I think every one in this forum is too far removed from your situation to advise accurately. However, I'm sure you're about to get a lot of unqualified advice anyway.

So I'll take a stab too - it sounds like trouble, and when things with this broad crash and burn and it costs you your job/business contacts then you'll wish you never knew her.

[pnazari]

Dam, 23 and you're a professor? definite brag...what do you teach?

[drexah]

[ QUOTE ]
i get girl's phone #. because i possess at least some marginal degree of aptitude at life.

[/ QUOTE ]

i enjoyed this line thoroughly.

"but DUDE, next time just throw some kino at her, slip her a few negs, yaaa TR after that bra"

but really, i think if you keep all communication/contact with her outside of the work place, then this guy is probably just a jealous prick if he makes any deal out of it. if you are really interested in her i'd probably just be straightforward with the dep. chair and let him know you like her and it won't interfere with your work yadda yadda...if you're respectful about it i don't see why he should have a problem with it, especially if she isn't in any of your classes. it's not like it's high school...knowing the official rules on this is v v important though. this would be a good thing to discuss with the chair as to why he is so keen on you not seeing her.

[Big Poppa Smurf]

I mean if you value your job and the lucrative business contacts this entails, don't do it.

[Assani Fisher]

Ask her out. If you guys hit it off, then on the second date explain the situation to her and tell her that if you want to keep seeing her it has to be kept hush-hush. 55 years from now when you're celebrating your 50th aniversary, you'll thank me.

[EYEWHITES]

my 2 cents you ask?

give her you number, make her commit to trying to be friend/get to know you better. No dating, get a cup of coffee on campus, talk about books or whatever it is you do

It might be worth the risk if there is a definite future involved here. but its defintly not worth a quick fling to slow down your career

my 2 cents

[mbillie1]

You already know what I think dude... go for it. If the guy complains about it just 3bet him and tell him you'll quit unless he shuts his yap.

[edfurlong]

Frame her for some kind of major academic offense.