jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 28

chopsticks · #**271** 10-29-2007, 09:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
So, I'm at the Bucs/Jaguars game today and they do a feature on an Asian cheerleader on the jumbotron. The audio is running about a second and a half behind the video.

The guy next to me says that it looks like a bad 1960's sci-fi movie from Japan. And then , in his best Japanese accent, starts yelling:

"Rook out, Godzeeeera is coming, Godzeeeeera is coming"

Both of the wives were appalled. I laughed my ass off.

[/ QUOTE ]

omg i laughed so hard on this one

Pudge714 · #**272** 10-29-2007, 09:35 PM

gummp,
I loled.

The Man · #**273** 10-30-2007, 02:03 AM

To be honest, I have no idea if this even fits but I will say it anyway. And for the record, It would be pretty funny if it flopped, because then I made a joke on 2+2 that flopped in a thread about jokes that flopped. Ok

Im pretty dorky, and pretty nice and during high school my teachers never really thought of me as a 'hooligan.' even though those were who I hung out with. When I was in european history we were doing a report about concentration camps in the library, and we had computers there. Without telling anyone I made a word file all in bold italics and caps NERVE GAS IS FOR KIDS I printed it out, and didn't tell anyone in my group about it. About 5 minutes later my teacher comes right over to our group (because it was pretty obv it was one of us) and she started yelling at us, but since I am nice I didn't get blamed. A friend of mine got in trouble and was dealt with only because he couldn't stop laughing at the paper the teacher was holding.

Haydn · #**274** 10-30-2007, 02:20 AM

One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

nath · #**275** 10-30-2007, 03:45 AM

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]
rofl wtf

jonnyd · #**276** 10-30-2007, 03:57 AM

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol A+ gimmick

sards · #**277** 10-30-2007, 04:32 AM

This is more of a prank than a joke but I'll tell it anyway. Cliff's notes at bottom.

When I was in high school, I was sort of a computer nerd. One day I was at school after hours hanging out with a couple of friends - I think we were there for a basketball game and got there early or something - and we decided to wander around the school while nobody was around. We got to the school library and one of my friends told me that I should "put a virus" on the library computers. This sounded like a great idea so I fired up QBasic and wrote a quick program that printed text that stated that the computer was infested by demons that were brought upon the library by the Satanic influence of Mrs. Ward, the school librarian. (Keep in mind that this was a private Christian school so it was topical...) The program then went into an infinite loop, making really obnoxious sounds on the PC speaker. It only took me about 2 minutes. I then added a line to the AUTOEXEC.BAT file to cause the "virus" to run when the computer started up. We then went back to the basketball game or whatever.

The next day at school, there was a big commotion in the library. My classmates and I stepped out of class to see what was happenning. I saw Mrs. Ward in tears, wildly mumbling to herself while the principal tried to console her. Turns out she was mentally unstable and what I thought was a light-hearted prank pushed her over the edge. She took a leave of absence from the school and didn't come back until the following school year. I felt really terrible about it, but nobody ever found out that I did it.

Also, it was amusing to me that it took the school "computer expert" several hours to figure out how to get rid of the "virus." All you had to do was press Ctrl-C to exit the program and then edit the AUTOEXEC.BAT file. Whatever.

Cliff's notes: I wrote a computer program that caused the school librarian to have a mental breakdown.

WhoIam · #**278** 10-30-2007, 04:38 AM

Driver's ed class and we're watching one of the standard anti-drunk driving videos complete with depictions of real-life carnage, etc. The narrator says something like "...lives are ruined, resources are needlessly used, and families are torn apart." I blurt out "Literally!"

Apparently the rest of class had taste.

Bulletproof Monk · #**279** 10-30-2007, 07:24 AM

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]

so awesome

timoK · #**280** 10-30-2007, 07:40 AM

I once spoke with a female friend of mine (who works in the same company) who is dating a coworker...
somehow the conversation went like:
I said: I dont care with whom you sleep. I dont care if you sleep with the whole company. But if you would do I have to check my calender for my appointment...

Man I flopped so badly