Here's my [censored] AC trip report

[blutarski]

2/4

Pocket aces: 5

Pocket aces cracked: 5

Playable hands: 164

Flops missed: 160

Crazy chicks who play 3-4 sooooted and river their straight to fade my aces up: 1

# of bets pre-flop the crazy chick paid so she could suck out on me with 3-4 soooooted: 4

Price of a pack of cigs at the Trop: $10.50

Mobnies lost: $200

Two bright spots:

1. Crazy chick screaming "Don't touch me!" when the old guy next to her congratulated her by patting her on the shoulder.

2. Old guy fisticuffs at 11 in the am:

Old guy #1: If you call someone a schmuck when you chase and lose, YOU'RE the schmuck.
Old guy #2: Yeah, (laughs it off)
Old guy #1: mumbles for a few minutes, 'schmuck' is heard a few more times.
Old guy #2: Shut the [censored] up!

Old guy #1 gives him a forearm shiver to the shoulder and they give each other the gas face like two school kids.

Old guy #2: "You think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you!"

The dealer calls the floor and the two settle down. The floor goes away for about five minutes, eventhough the dealer is complaining that OG 2 hit the other guy.

OG 2 finally gets called away, and they discuss the incident. The two talk, which we can't hear, but then it becomes animated.

Floor: Sir, you can't put your hands on other patrons...
OG 2: But, he said a bad word! You know what he said!?!
Floor: I'm sorry sir, you were in the wrong the second you touched another player.
OG 2: Says something sotto voce.
Floor: That's it. Get outta here! We don't need your business!
OG 2: Well, I don't need you!

He picks up his chips and walks out

Floor: Good. And you know what else? You're an old man.

Oh, I forgot my one shining hand. At the same table:

I have A8s in EP. I limp, get about six callers. I flop the nut flush. I slow play the flop, and a blank comes on the turn.

I take some chips off my stack and pretend to ponder a bet, then check. One bettor, a fold, three callers, and two yet to act. Well, I'm on Nut Street headed to Value Town, so I pop it up. The two caught between fold and the original bettor re-raises! It folds around to me and I say "Cap it."

Dealer: You're heads up, there's no cap.

Villian: Re-raise.

Me: Re-raise.

Villian: Re-raise.

Me: Re-raise.

Villian: ...call...

River is another diamond, no straight flush potential. I check. He puts his last four bucks into the pot and I call and flip the nuts.

Villian: #$%^@# Why you check?!?!?

I shrug. I didn't want to say that I wanted to make him think I was bluffing etc., as he was pretty pissed. "I was having fun," I say.

About five minutes later, long after he'd stormed out, I realized what I should've said, had I wanted to be a real prick:

"Sir, I was giving you a chance to keep some of your dignity."