Having kids, pros and cons?

[MurphNKY]

OP...wow, I mean, just WOW. Having a son has been/is the most amazing, wonderful event in my 32 years so far.

Not only was the first year much easier than I anticipated/feared, but every day gets better and I thank God for blessing me with him.

Echoing a poster prior to this, you will be amazed at how it changes you and gives you a "perspective" that you just...well, can't understand or "get" unless you are responsible for the safety and well-being of a baby/toddler.

I've become a better man...less volatile, more responsible, MUCH more patient, less erratic..because of him and bc of that perspective I spoke of. You'll find out...while it sounds cliche, it is SOOOOO true.

Don't get me wrong..there are moments..you lose a bit of who you were, you can't go out on a whim, you can't count on sleep whenever YOU want it, you have to change diapers (lol), you are forced to grow up....but, the tremendous PROS of being a father soooo outweight the minor CONS that you will face.

And...remember that MurphNKY said this...perhaps you'll be able to PM me 1-2 years down the road and give me props ... just wait till the first time your child rolls over next to you after waking up and says, "I love you Daddy".

Nothing better people..nothing...

Good luck!

[Bostaevski]

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just wait till the first time your child rolls over next to you after waking up and says, "I love you Daddy".

Nothing better people..nothing...

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QFT

[DK47]

pro: lego

[dozer]

CON: Your social life dries up. You're at home and/or out with your family most of the time. You can't go to fancy restaurants or R-rated movies much. You can't spend much money without thinking about your kids. You spend a lot of money on baby formula. You watch a lot of Disney Channel and Sesame Street. You don't sleep much for about a year.

PRO: You have a child that you can call your own, and that outweighs every single con imaginable. I echo the sappy sentiments of the other parents that posted in here. Having kids is unbelieveably rewarding. Unless your work keeps you travelling a lot, or if you hate your wife, I say go procreate.

[MurphNKY]

Dozer, nice post! Agree with your PROS wholeheartedly...meh on the CONS. I could get sappier commenting on those...I'll just say this.

ELMO rocks! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[DrewDevil]

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just wait till the first time your child rolls over next to you after waking up and says, "I love you Daddy".

Nothing better people..nothing...

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QFT

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My boy is 7 months old, not old enough to talk, but every day when I come home from work, he gives me this huge grin and reaches out for me to pick him up.

That big smile probably makes me happier than anything else that's ever happened to me, seriously.

[RayPowers]

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CON: Your social life dries up. You're at home and/or out with your family most of the time. You can't go to fancy restaurants or R-rated movies much. You can't spend much money without thinking about your kids. You spend a lot of money on baby formula. You watch a lot of Disney Channel and Sesame Street. You don't sleep much for about a year.

PRO: You have a child that you can call your own, and that outweighs every single con imaginable. I echo the sappy sentiments of the other parents that posted in here. Having kids is unbelieveably rewarding. Unless your work keeps you travelling a lot, or if you hate your wife, I say go procreate.

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I actually support this more realistic view than some other's posted here. If you don't understand how dramatically your social life changes, it will come as a horrible shock to you.

It's still worth it tho.

Ray

[JasonK]

I don't even like kids and I'd rather hang out with my two boys (7 and 3) than do anything else.

[MurphNKY]

Absolutely agree the social life aspect MUST be realized/taken into consideration because it is a reality. If you're a partier, if you go out every night, if you drink a lot (or more)...probably wise to hold off on procreating until you slow down a bit.

However, I would argue that sacrficing a few nights out with the boys, a few nights at the poker room...as stated above, is well worth it.

Plus, it's not like, honestly, babies stay babies forever. Social lives must be put on hiatus for a few years..you don't lose that part of your life forever.

I would hate to see a prospective parent be influenced by someone disparaging parenthood bc of the toll it takes on "going out".

BTW, any Dad's here ever think they'd be sitting on the floor next to their child singing Barney songs?

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[J.Brown]

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People who are pro-kid would tell you things like:
"Kids are the best thing that ever happened to me"
"It will change your life forever"
etc, etc

If you're like me, you'll think you understand what they mean but believe me - until you actually have kids - you don't.

Now - that being said, having a daughter (2 1/2 years old now) has been the most amazing, awesome, joyous experience of my life.

I say go for it. Plus, how else will you know if your wang works?

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What he said.

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exactly...with my personal experiences/additions

i never really liked kids.
never had a life goal of having any.
now have 2 boys. (ages 3yrs and 9 weeks)

i call it joining the club.

the only way to truly understand it is once you join it.
there is no way of really explaining it or describing it.

the only advice is make sure your marriage is rock solid and be prepared to be much less selfish with your time and energy. the rewards far outweigh the sacrifices, but like i said you really have to learn that part for yourself.

plus once you are "in the club" you now have interest in everyone's kids and lives like you never did before.

there is definetly a reason so many of us choose to pro-create, i am just glad my wife really really wanted to.

later. J.