An EDF Introspective: S.R.E.A.M.

[ElSapo]

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What we're really talking about here is probably not sex, but self awareness. Why we do -many- of the things we do, not just why we screw who we do.

Which doesn't really make your statement wrong, only incomplete, I think. Isn't all of this the basis for therapy in general? Working out the underlying reasons we make any of the choices we do?

I've always believed that as long as you understood your choices - where they come from, their implications on yourself and others - as long as we're honest with ourselves, the idea of "bad choices" becomes a little, well, less so.

Granted, that's a high bar. But real self examination and honesty are good goals to set, in all endeavors and not just sex.

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This is all really great. I mean, without self-awareness, we don't really have the freedom to choose our courses in life. So all questions of this nature lead to it, and it's important to recognize.

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The question, I suppose, is whether (assuming some of this is correct) recognizing a supposed "bad reason" makes it less bad. Is it still a crappy idea to do what you're going to do, or does it fundamentally change if you're no longer pulling the wool over your own eyes?

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It depends, but in general, I would say that knowing something is bad for you maybe makes it less "bad" from the right/wrong and good/evil standpoint. But you will still suffer detrimental effects, even if your awareness allows you to adapt to them (like, say, an alcoholic who "knows" he has a drinking problem but won't quit).

Of course, another way to look at it is that the truly self-aware never make "bad" choices. How could they? If they are truly self-aware, then they are making the exact choice that is best for them at every moment possible.

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Well ... Sometimes we think we're aware of our motivations but we may be deluding ourselves.

Also, some people are self-destructive. But that may be another category of motivation altogether.

[nath]

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Well ... Sometimes we think we're aware of our motivations but we may be deluding ourselves.

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Yep... hence my qualifier of the "truly" self-aware. Most of us delude ourselves in at least some capacity, either because it's easier or because we simply don't know any better.

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Also, some people are self-destructive. But that may be another category of motivation altogether.

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Yep-- not everyone's true motives are traditional, and especially with artistic and spiritual types, the destructive goes hand in hand with the creative. It's a release of energy. Not to mention, the destructive has its role for everyone else as well-- you have to tear down a bad foundation before you can build a sturdy home, or something.