What will make you happy?

[ShakeZula06]

[ QUOTE ]
Of course, a lot of what I'm talking about boils down to them. Women. I know it's cool and 'alpha' to spout lines about ignoring them and not putting them on a pedestal, and for years I believed it. (Although I probably didn't follow it.)

But the more I talk to friends the more I realise that everyone seems almost anxious about the future and the uncertainty of whether they will be happy. Someone just told me he is happy now, but wonders if he will ever be REALLY happy until he marries that perfect girl.

Is that relationship even enough though?


[/ QUOTE ]
Here's a quote a read from a friend of mine's facebook page (zOMG obv a chick, no guy has feelings wtf) not sure where she got it from but it goes-
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You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lies on anyones shoulders but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the gentlest manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this


[/ QUOTE ]
Reading it I couldn't help but like to have something like this.

As for this part-
[ QUOTE ]
Or do you need to have children with that person and see the smile on your son or daughter's face to experience that happiness we seem to crave?

[/ QUOTE ]
Possibly. There is at least a biological 'craving' to have offspring (hell, that's why people started having sex in the first place) but for a lot of people yeah, having kids and raising them well would bring a lot of happiness.

I like to use a sliding scale with regards to happiness. What I mean is, you say you're not happy. I would say you're happy, in that you enjoy the life you live, just not to the level you want. For instance a kid living in dorms can be happy even though he'd rather live in an apartment. Someone living in an apartment would be happier living in a house.

Of course, the need for that great relationship with the perfect girl can make all those other things pretty small, even though everything else being equal you are happier with the other good things in life, right?

[Howard Treesong]

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then the baby starts to cry, or needs changing, etc, and it snaps me back into reality, and I think WTF!, I cant handle that yet.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was horrifically worried about that point before Little Treesong No. 1 came along. I can say that I never once got frustrated or angry with her for late nights or sickness or crappy diapers or any of it. It's a labor of love.

LT No. 2 once vomited on me in front of 100 people waiting to board an airplane. I laughed, thinking "what can you do?" Does that explain it well enough?

[tuq]

[ QUOTE ]
"I think the job of online poker alone makes a lot of us unhappy."

This is very true. I lived by myself for a year, and it was the worst year of my life. I could see myself sinking into depression.

[/ QUOTE ]
For me, this is a grass is always greener deal. I mean, I look at you poker pros - setting your own hours, some of you making sick money - and I wonder WTF, how can you complain?

From what I've read, most off-topic posters at this site play poker purely as a hobby or for side income. Very few - Alobar, nath, daryn, nation, probably a few others - are frequent OT posters (not counting BBV into this equation). I'd be interested in hearing your guys' "day in the life of". It may be a really short possibly boring read, but I'm struggling to understand how 8-tabling online poker when you feel like it is such a huge downer.

As for me personally being happy? Simple - never have kids, never pay alimony. So far I'm batting 1.000.

[Kneel B4 Zod]

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but I'm struggling to understand how 8-tabling online poker when you feel like it is such a huge downer.

[/ QUOTE ]

b/c it's not really "when you feel like it" for the vast majority of grinders. no work = no play.

I mean I never played professionally, and I got burnt out.

[guids]

Tuq,

I played "pro", for about 2.5 years, 21 to 23.5. A day in the life of guids:


M-Thurs- strict discipline, wake, up, run, housework, etc, then about 1pm, Id start playing/surfing/TV, Id play for 6 or 7 hours, hit the gym at night, maybe meet at a bar if I had business to take care of or Id play cards, no drinking though. Friday, wake up at noon, and basically party, drink, eat, until sunday afternoon, recover sunday night. This has been my last 3 years basically, if I was travelling it was on the weekends. Now, I dont have poker to do, so I have tons of time on my hands, hence why I decided on pouring my time into a bar, although I have recently started playing live a couple nights a week. Not really exciting.

[asofel]

Great post. Lots to say, but I'm working through a second bottle of Pinot Grigio (researching for the El D forum) and would probably just ramble for a while. But, I think the writing style is great, and I know what you're talking about. I'm actually curious to know how old you are (and others replying) because I think there's most likely a common age range for many of us dealing with these issues (mid/late 20's). Anyway, I'll make a better response tomorrow, but great thread and great posts so far everyone.

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"I think the job of online poker alone makes a lot of us unhappy."

This is very true. I lived by myself for a year, and it was the worst year of my life. I could see myself sinking into depression.

[/ QUOTE ]
For me, this is a grass is always greener deal. I mean, I look at you poker pros - setting your own hours, some of you making sick money - and I wonder WTF, how can you complain?

From what I've read, most off-topic posters at this site play poker purely as a hobby or for side income. Very few - Alobar, nath, daryn, nation, probably a few others - are frequent OT posters (not counting BBV into this equation). I'd be interested in hearing your guys' "day in the life of". It may be a really short possibly boring read, but I'm struggling to understand how 8-tabling online poker when you feel like it is such a huge downer.

As for me personally being happy? Simple - never have kids, never pay alimony. So far I'm batting 1.000.

[/ QUOTE ]

There was a brief time when I was in the unhappy poker guy mode.

My day in the life of would look like this:

Wake up from noon-2 PM. Go to WaWa, get a sandwich. Eat Sandwich.

2pm-6pm - Play online poker, read 2p2, chat with friends.

6pm-7pm Eat dinner.

7pm - 2AM - Play poker, read internet, talk on AIM.

Every so often the 7pm-2am time would get jazzed up with some going out.

It didn't take me long to realize that the salary wasn't cutting it for the hours. My current day in the life of looks like this:

7:00 AM: If it's snowing, wake up to go ski, otherwise, sleep.

9:00 AM-10 AM: Wake up and eat breakfast.

10:AM- 1 PM: Ski.

1 PM - 2 PM: Lunch

2 PM - 5 PM: Hang out with gf.

5 PM to 9 PM: Poker if I feel like it, sometimes hang out with friends, or gf if it's one of her 2 days off.

9 PM: GF comes home from work, drink wine and watch a movie, or go out if it's not a weekend since she works mornings on weekends.


I like my new schedule better.

James

EDIT: It's very very easy to get trapped by your freedom. I'm absolutely sure this is what happens to most online poker players who suffer from being unsatisfied. With all that free time, it's almost impossible to enjoy it when there is nothing to contrast it to. You take it for granted and you start to blend together a lot (a LOT) of days of sitting in front of the computer, passing time.

[Borodog]

My wife is my best friend. I was never truly happy until I found her. I still have moments where I've felt lost and didn't know what I was going to do with my life, but she was always there to make me remember that I already had what was really important.

In other words, I am a very lucky SOB. I hope you find the kind of woman I found, because she is amazing.

[Jurollo]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"I think the job of online poker alone makes a lot of us unhappy."

This is very true. I lived by myself for a year, and it was the worst year of my life. I could see myself sinking into depression.

[/ QUOTE ]
For me, this is a grass is always greener deal. I mean, I look at you poker pros - setting your own hours, some of you making sick money - and I wonder WTF, how can you complain?

From what I've read, most off-topic posters at this site play poker purely as a hobby or for side income. Very few - Alobar, nath, daryn, nation, probably a few others - are frequent OT posters (not counting BBV into this equation). I'd be interested in hearing your guys' "day in the life of". It may be a really short possibly boring read, but I'm struggling to understand how 8-tabling online poker when you feel like it is such a huge downer.

As for me personally being happy? Simple - never have kids, never pay alimony. So far I'm batting 1.000.

[/ QUOTE ]
The distinction between playing for rent and playing for supplemental income is HUGE and you hit on it well.
~J

[Golden_Rhino]

I've worked / volunteered with rich kids and poor kids. I have generally found that the poor kids are happier. I've thought about that a lot. The conclusion I have come to is that we live in a society that tells us that money will make us happy. The poor kids can still live with the delusion that they will be happy once they have some money. For many of the young guns one here that have money, but are still not happy, there is a sense of what can I do now?

The things described in the OP can contribute to one's happiness: buying things you like, traveling, never worrying about bills etc.... I can tell you from experience that the times where I have had the most money in my life, were also the most miserable. Right now I have gone back to school, working a part time job, and as a result have had to scale back my lifestyle drastically. I can also tell you that I have never been happier because I am chasing a dream that I have always had, and the financial considerations are in the background.

For you early twenties that are feeling unhappy, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was a pretty miserable cat throughout my twenties, and it took me 32 years to find my happiness.