Your Boss Spits In Your Face Everyday

[PLOlover]

if you change it something more socially acceptable like having your boss call you a [censored] idiot instead of using your name, even in front of others, I'm sure many many people put up with this abuse and not even for extra money, just to keep their job.

[vhawk01]

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if you change it something more socially acceptable like having your boss call you a [censored] idiot instead of using your name, even in front of others, I'm sure many many people put up with this abuse and not even for extra money, just to keep their job.

[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly, and why? Because "something more socially acceptable" is pretty much the exact same thing as "nobody will find out about it."

[hicherbie]

you cant get the money elsewhere and your parents need to be taken care of.

my parents comfort is worth more to me than mine. id get spit on and i dont think it matters if it is public knowledge or not.

[vhawk01]

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you cant get the money elsewhere and your parents need to be taken care of.

my parents comfort is worth more to me than mine. id get spit on and i dont think it matters if it is public knowledge or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

I dunno, my parents would prefer marble baths, and yet they don't have them and I still went to a movie today.

[PLOlover]

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Quote:
if you change it something more socially acceptable like having your boss call you a [censored] idiot instead of using your name, even in front of others, I'm sure many many people put up with this abuse and not even for extra money, just to keep their job.


Exactly, and why? Because "something more socially acceptable" is pretty much the exact same thing as "nobody will find out about it."

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think that's it. plenty of people are belittled by their bosses in front of coworkers.

[vhawk01]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Quote:
if you change it something more socially acceptable like having your boss call you a [censored] idiot instead of using your name, even in front of others, I'm sure many many people put up with this abuse and not even for extra money, just to keep their job.


Exactly, and why? Because "something more socially acceptable" is pretty much the exact same thing as "nobody will find out about it."

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think that's it. plenty of people are belittled by their bosses in front of coworkers.

[/ QUOTE ]

My point was that 'socially acceptable' means the same thing as 'nobody will find out about it' because the only reason we care if people find out is if they don't think its acceptable, and then will use this information to victimize you in the future. If its more socially acceptable, its the same as no one finding out.

[PairTheBoard]

The general issue here is the tension between two interests. You have an interest in taking care of yourself. You also have an interest in taking care of your parents. The Tension is in the fact that improving one interest can be a detriment to the other. So you seek the best balance between the two that you can find.

I don't think it's a big revelation that we often have to do that kind of thing. It's also often not easy for us to determine what that right balance is. We may second guess ourselves. How to find that balance is sometimes a dilemma for us. I don't see this example showing us any solutions to that problem. People feel out the balance in these situations all the time whether they intellectually identify what they are doing or not. They still do it.

PairTheBoard

[AWoodside]

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It's amazing how people continually to insist on answering only the precise question, rather than addressing the underlying issue which these silly specific questions are meant to introduce.

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Given that you don't approve of all the twisting of hypotheticals that goes on around here (and rightly so) I'm not sure if this is a completely fair criticism. How often do you get annoyed because people change, misinterpret, or too broadly interpret a scenario you give and thereby side-step the issue in question? I'm not saying it's wrong to be upset by things like that, I'm with you 100%, but to then criticize people for sticking to the hypothetical faithfully seems a bit innapropriate. Pooridge too hot, pooridge too cold, that kind of thiing. Perhaps it would help everyone if you specified the underlying issue you're getting at along with providing specific examples. You might say you don't have the time or the inclination to do this, which would be perfectly fine in my eyes, but then, you do seem to have time to micromanage people's responses to your questions. I feel like you could save yourself a lot of consternation if you were more specific in your OP.

[carlo]

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It's amazing how people continually to insist on answering only the precise question, rather than addressing the underlying issue which these silly specific questions are meant to introduce.


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If the question is silly, it shouldn't be asked. Spitting in one's face is a SPECIFIC ASSAULT and should be treated as such. Words like "belittle", "denigrate", "make less of", "humiliate" do not begin to bring to clarity the actual act. These are no more than vague abstractions/generalizations which have no relation to the matter. In fact they make the act seem almost acceptable.

I'm afraid the family and myself are going to endure with dignity, The only question is; do I drop him thus incurring the wrath of the law or seek retribution via this same law? Of course the burden of proof is upon me but I can't go any farther along this line of thought for the thinking goes along many alley ways.

A clear example of "spitting in one's face" may help. My son who is in his early 20's while playing in a soccer game had the misfortune of meeting up with an asynchronous opponent who spit in his face unprovoked. The opponent was dropped in a nanosecond and in fact crawling on the ground in a fetal position attempting to ward off furthur blows.

Order was restored but of course penalties were applied. Each player received a red card(out for that game and the next). The ref came to my son and said that he hated to give him the card but was obliged to do so. The following day he received a call in which his red card for the next game was rescinded. His opponent was disqualified permanently from any furthur play. JUSTICE!!



Your question can lead to many different roads not the least of which is earthly justice. Also the loss of earnings and care of family would obviously lead to more earthly justice of the court system. Gotta keep the lawyers in business.

One can look at this only personally without recourse to the world around but this only makes the query trivial. Will not there be aid for the family among the social services? If there is no justice, social services,etc. in the environment then the man will be dropped and I'll take over the business. No problems, all is OK.

[Munche]

There is nothing admirable in quitting the job. Choosing to quit over being spit on or humiliated is simply a personal value judgement. It's actually an unadmirable decision since quitting will most likely not make your boss change their ways, they will start abusing someone else, and you will help create a new victim.

Honouring your mother and father with support is admirable, so if your sole criteria in this rigid scenario is making the admirable decision, then keeping your job to provide support is the only option.

Of course, I am saying that morale judgement is what leads to admiration, or should lead to admiration. This is debatable.