When do you stop picking up the check?

[private joker]

I'm discussing this with my sister and decided to post the debate in order to get opinions.

Obviously on the first date, the guy always pays for the whole thing.

The girl will offer (hopefully), but she will expect -- and it's understood -- that the guy says thanks but I got it. Sometimes she'll say "All right, let me get the next one."

If she does, do you take her up on it? If you pay for the second date, do you expect her to pay for the next one, or do you expect the next one to be Dutch?

What if the girl stops offering and expects you to pay every time?

There always seems to be some point in the relationship when the girl just randomly picks up the check. My last girlfriend (it was about 7 months) only paid like on my birthday and other special occasions, but I didn't mind too much. But if she establishes a pattern of occasionally picking up the check, when should that pattern begin?

There are probably other factors to take into consideration, but this is a hastily written post. Anyway, I think you guys get the gist of it.

[MatthewRyan]

It she offers to pay for the 2nd one take it. You can use it jokingly in your advantage even to get the 2nd date. Also, it lets her know you are not willing to be a bitch and you are not so desperate that she gets every meal free.

FWIW, I split most dinners with my gf, or if I pick one up, she'll buy the movie tickets, etc. its pretty fair and thats the way it should be.

[Bob Sacamano]

What does she do for a living?

[skunkworks]

Private Joker,

Anything past the third or fourth date without an offer on her part would start to raise some questions in my head.


MatthewRyan,

What if she doesn't offer to pick up the second? Basically, how do you announce you're not so desperate that you'll pay for all her meals, and how do you do that without sounding like a bitch?

[amplify]

If she [censored] me after dinner #1, I pick up dinner #2 and from then on we are basically just pretending to be a couple while she [censored] me for food and drinks.

[Wilco666]

[ QUOTE ]

Obviously on the first date, the guy always pays for the whole thing.


[/ QUOTE ]
Wrong.

[Thremp]

Umm... If you ask her out to dinner I don't think she should ever feel obligated to pay, but should offer to pay a portion on occasion. Obviously this changes as you get in a relationship. Sometimes if you're going to go eat dinner and then get ice cream or something they can pay for ice cream and it makes them feel liberated etc.

[.Alex.]

I don't have a problem paying for the first few dates, but at some point the girl has to offer to split or alternate. If the girl never offers, I guess I'd casually bring up the topic, probably not during the date though, to get a read on her thoughts.

FWIW, I've had a few girls - none that I've dated - tell me that they expect the guy to always pay throughout the relationship, which I think is completely ridiculous. It would likely be a deal-breaker for me if the girl insisted that.

[skunkworks]

[ QUOTE ]
FWIW, I've had a few girls - none that I've dated - tell me that they expect the guy to always pay throughout the relationship, which I think is completely ridiculous. It would likely cause a meeting between her face and the back of my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

[EricW]

I've always wondered what would happen when (more like if) I ever get a date and I expect the gal to split the bill.

I'm not cheap by any means but it's the whole principle. I firmly believe in equal rights and I'm totally against pointless traditions. So this along with the fact that women nowadays are pushing towards equal rights will make me refuse to pay for the whole bill.