investor/finance fake job ideas please

[ahnuld]

The worst is when people ask me how much iv made from poker. Iv never had another real job so thats pretty much my net worth. If it was ever worded that way they would never dare ask that, but they dont realize the difference. I think most people also assume its ok to ask about income for poker players because they viewed it as a real job. They dont ask a stranger at a party they were just introduced to how much he makes at his IT job but with poker it comes up immediately and is ok.

Also henry, I assumed you had made most of your cash from non poker related things. You play professionally/ semi-professionally as well?

[Henry17]

I made most of my money from sports betting. Before and during university I had various jobs but I've never had a real job after law school. I've played poker since 92.

I've never answered the income question. My usual answer is more than a paperboy and less than Bill Gates. If I feel like I'm being challenged I'll go with "I choose this over being a lawyer so I make more than a lawyer but I rather not discuss money. It is in bad taste". You'll get the occasional person who won't get the hint but most will drop the subject.

Compared to the 90s it is easy now to explain to people choosing poker as an occupation. Poker is on TV. It is cool and popular. You can play online. There are more people choosing poker as a profession so odds are you will not be the only person they have met that does this.

[SlowHabit]

I jokingly tell people that I am a consultant from OCTN Consulting LLC and they actually believe me; this is kind of funny because OC stands for Orange County and TN is my name's initial.

Or you can say "I make it rain on dem hoes."

But seriously, you can't go wrong with "security analyst."

[NickNick]

"I maximise return on investment in high risk competitive scenarios through extemporaneous situational analysis incorporating expert psychological profiling in order to minimise the effect of probabilistic outcomes."

Can't remember who said this.....

[geormiet]

I just like to say I don't have a job. 100% truth which is good because I'm bad at lying. People often stop asking at that point.

If you don't want to sound like a bum you could just say you're an investor.

[spex x]

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I just like to say I don't have a job. 100% truth which is good because I'm bad at lying. People often stop asking at that point.

If you don't want to sound like a bum you could just say you're an investor.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not a professional gambler, but I'm a professional RE investor. Bascially I'm unemployed and the vast majority of my income is passive. I've got lots of free time...

Anyway, I used to tell people simply that I don't work. It got weird with people thinking that I was unintentionally unemployed. I even had a few people offer me jobs or suggest a brother in law that can use a part time guy for a little while.

So I started telling people that I'm an investor. The problem w/ being a professional RE investor is that *everyone* thinks they understand REI. Or people would think that I'm a stock market guy and start asking me all kinds of questions. I don't know JACK about stocks. Others would think that I'm a Realtor. I have a pretty low opinion of realtors, so that became pretty annoying.

Now I just tell people simply that I manage my assets. Sometimes I tell people that I'm a manager. That has been working for quite a while now.

[badatmath]

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Say you're in internet marketing

Nobody asks anything else...ever

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I didn't have the same success with it. I've actually just started telling people I play poker because I got tired of answering the same internet marketing questions over and over.

[stinkypete]

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Sometimes I tell people that I'm a manager. That has been working for quite a while now.

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you tell people that youre a manager and they don't inquire further?

[spex x]

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[ QUOTE ]
Sometimes I tell people that I'm a manager. That has been working for quite a while now.

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you tell people that youre a manager and they don't inquire further?

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Not really but I guess it kinda depends on the situation. If they inquire further I just tell them that I manage my assets. 90% of the time that'll end it since most people don't really care anyway.

[Mark1808]

[ QUOTE ]
hello finance/investing peoples , i need your help in my quest to find a fake job. i'm a poker pro but for many reasons i don't tell that to anyone outside our little world. instead i've been telling people i'm still a student but i'm tired of that plus i'm 27 and it's probably starting to look ''a little'' suspicious . so my best bet is probably something finance related... it would have to be similar to poker to explain my schedule, something mobile and freelance that can be done online and without actually working for/with a company . so what kind of job fits this description ? i mean it has to make sense for someone my age and i don't want to look like a stock market genius, i think it's better to make it sound like a grind so it's easier to sell. if you can help with this could you please give me some tips or links about the job, i'd like to learn about it so i don't look like an idiot when i meet someone in the business. tytyty.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't lie, just put a good spin on it. Say you are an independent consultant specializing in Applied Probability Analysis mostly to the liesure and entertainment industry. When pressed say you work with statistics and behavioral patterns to derive maximum revenue techniques. If pressed further just say you shove flush draws against nits.