Hows my Application Essay pt2

[Awesemo]

I think that this is a good topic to write about for you. One of the things I would change is that the essay says that you lost your passion about basketball. I think it would reflect better on you if the main point was that while you were injured, you started doing all these other activities, and you realized that you hadn't been taking advantage of them earlier because you were too focused on one thing.

"i forgot how much i enjoyed it" it should probably be changed to "playing baseball" for clarity.

in the last sentence, you are trying too hard to say something profound. i would delete the last two sentences and say something like "Although my injuries from basketball were devestating at the time, they ended up opening up new opportunities to me."

I agree with a previous poster that you shouldn't go into so much detail the extent of your basketball playing: you could express that in a lot fewer words. You should spend more time focusing on the activities that you discovered, since those should be the main focus of the paper, not basketball.