Personal / dating / whatever life situation general advice thread

[gol4pro]

If she walks by you, make some joke about her going out of her way to look at you.

something along the lines of; "I know I'm beautiful, but you don't have to try to be so secretive about looking at me."

The key here is to make the awkwardness funny and to make it look like she is the one looking at you all the time (regardless of whether or not its true). If she responds well, begin a conversation, but keep up the pressure on you (make sure she doesnt think you're completely serious). I would make some comment about her clothing, and did her mom help her pick it out. This tends to work well in my experience. If you keep pounding her, and make it eem like SHE is trying to pick you up, you should be golden. Closing the deal on digits should be easy from here. I can give you some other suggestions for making sure this goes ok as well if youd like.

[manupod]

Girlfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago. She lives in a different state. We were together nearly 3 years. Break up was due primarily to distance and the complications that arose from that. We have been talking intermittently because I want to move near her to give us a chance together. While she hasn't said yes or no, she has admitted to having feelings and wishing things were different.

I call tonight and she answers. Says she can't talk. She also can't talk later. She's at a guys house and plans to spend the night there apparently.

-why did she answer the phone? i was in the same situation 2 weeks ago and let the phone go to the machine
-is she playing games with me? (in other words, drop the bitch)
-do i still have a chance with this or not?

Anyway, I talked to her for 15 minutes at this guys house, saying that I wanted to talk about the tip of the iceberg- I want to be near her, to give us a chance, because I think she's incredible, I wish things were different, etc. She asked if we could talk about this later, as it wasn't a good time for her (ldo!!). She was in tears, fwiw. I said she that if she was happy there and confident in her decision then she shouldn't call me back tomorrow because her uncertainty gives rise to my uncertainty and if she's confident then she shouldn't continue to talk to me and [censored] up my emotions. Then we said goodbye.

-what are the chances she ever calls?

fwiw, I think we've both been playing games to some degree because we had our hands tied regarding the situation. However, come dec 15 I am able to relocate, so that becomes a realistic option then.

Is suggesting a face to face a horrible idea?

[manupod]

Also, a side note (pretend it's unrelated to my above post) but is it ever OK to move to be with a girl? On one hand that seems incredibly lame and pathetic. On the other hand, if it's true love and meant to be (shudder) then that has to happen at some point, ya?

[SlowHabit]

[ QUOTE ]
Girlfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago. She lives in a different state. We were together nearly 3 years. Break up was due primarily to distance and the complications that arose from that. We have been talking intermittently because I want to move near her to give us a chance together. While she hasn't said yes or no, she has admitted to having feelings and wishing things were different.

I call tonight and she answers. Says she can't talk. She also can't talk later. She's at a guys house and plans to spend the night there apparently.

-why did she answer the phone? i was in the same situation 2 weeks ago and let the phone go to the machine
-is she playing games with me? (in other words, drop the bitch)
-do i still have a chance with this or not?

Anyway, I talked to her for 15 minutes at this guys house, saying that I wanted to talk about the tip of the iceberg- I want to be near her, to give us a chance, because I think she's incredible, I wish things were different, etc. She asked if we could talk about this later, as it wasn't a good time for her (ldo!!). She was in tears, fwiw. I said she that if she was happy there and confident in her decision then she shouldn't call me back tomorrow because her uncertainty gives rise to my uncertainty and if she's confident then she shouldn't continue to talk to me and [censored] up my emotions. Then we said goodbye.

-what are the chances she ever calls?

fwiw, I think we've both been playing games to some degree because we had our hands tied regarding the situation. However, come dec 15 I am able to relocate, so that becomes a realistic option then.

Is suggesting a face to face a horrible idea?

[/ QUOTE ]
Without further reads, it's time to make a laydown and move on to the next hand.

[SlowHabit]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, a side note (pretend it's unrelated to my above post) but is it ever OK to move to be with a girl? On one hand that seems incredibly lame and pathetic. On the other hand, if it's true love and meant to be (shudder) then that has to happen at some point, ya?

[/ QUOTE ]
Why would moving in with a girl lame and pathetic, especially if you love her?

You get to bang her when you're horny or on tilt. You can find out if she's wife material (keep things clean, sometimes do the dishes/cook, how concern she is when you're sick). And obviously, you'll find out (hopefully quickly) if she's the one you can wake up next to for next xx years until you die.

I forgot to mention that you can find out if you're husband material and you can answer yourself in case you want to get married. Like, are you ready for lock-down for life? With this girl? Until you die?

[SlowHabit]

[ QUOTE ]
I have this general question about chicas. What exactly does it mean if a girl looks at you a lot? Like say we meet in class or w/e, she looks at me till we're past each other, and I do the same. Same if we see each other in the bus stop or w/e. Like you know how if there's a hot girl behind you in class, you turn around and are looking straight at the hot girl, but are weaving your head left and right to make it look like your trying to look past her, well that's what happening. I look at her a decent amount as well partly b/c she's smoking hot and I figure I have no chance, so I may as well as look. But now a days, I only look when she's looking at me, and she does the head weaving thing or immediately turns around. Gah, I prolly sound like a weirdo after this post.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm a guy and reading that line turns me off already. Let alone a hot girl.

Look around campus. Don't you notice hot girls walking with "how the [censored] did he get her" type of guys?

The value of a hot girl is dependent on your perception on whether she is hot or not. If you think she's too good or too hot for you, then just give up. You already lost.

Remember, looking hot is just one trait. If you're smart and witty, that's two attractive traits. Thus, you're better than her if she's not as smart nor witty. And that's not counting your dangerous adventurous side if you gamble on the side at night while being a student during the day! I didn't pay attention to this trait but one time during my senior year in college, my education class was playing a mystery game and my trait was I paid tuition with poker moneys. Almost everyone was like wow. A guy in the class kept telling me poker stories. An older woman (40-50) would ask about my poker life every time I sit next to her in class. And girls thought I was *unique*.

PS. I'm a fobby Asian kid. Fobby means I speak English with a native accent. I dress funny because I was poor. Now my fashion sense doesn't exist. I might look as bad as Grimmy's pizza endorsement ad. But you know what? Who the [censored] cares. The key to getting girls is to create a vibe/environment where they can talk comfortably. Then they start sharing random shiets. Then you repeat whatever they said but with less words and throw a few jab here and there. And you give her an unexpected compliment. And you're good to go. Just remember that you gotta be in control of the conversation. Once you lose the lead, it's GG.

[Bob6149]

I'm thinking of quitting my job and playing poker for a couple of years. I know you've read that opening line before, but hopefully this post is a little different, though I dunno if I'll get any useful advice here.

I am thinking of buying a nice-ish car, driving somewhere warm for the winter (like Portugal or the south of France), and living there for three months. Then I shall drive someplace else in Europe, or even further afield, and live there for three months. I will attempt to learn the language, learn the city, and have adventures. Repeat until I stop winning money at poker/get bored.

Most poker pros do badly because they get over-stressed or they get bored. I won't get over-stressed: I have plenty of savings and I have played poker for a living for two years before, 2002-2004. I make a lot more now and have a better idea of how to go about it. I hope to avoid boredom by travelling around - infact, that's the main aim.

I'm not that good at meeting new people and I'm not well organised - I will have a hard time looking for somewhere to live in a new country, particularly with the language barrier. In part, I want to do this because it will put me in a situation where I can learn these skills.

This is a second account here - I am quite good at poker but no superstar. I can easily hit $100/hour, and can probably hit $150/hour. I can put in 20 hours/week for a long, long time. This is (legally) tax free for me.

The problem is that I'll be earning ~$100k pa in the new year at this job. I don't have a degree, but I am smart. This job is specialised enough that there aren't many like it, certainly not in this country. I quite like this job. I don't know what kind of long term future this job has, I may have already hit my ceiling. I'm being purposely vague for the same reason I'm using a second account, I'm sure some of you can figure out why.

So what do I do? Do I take the risk? Do I decide to run around for a few years or do I decide to build a career? I can imagine myself doing either, which is how I usually make hard decisions.

[Dale Dough]

Re: moving for a girl:

I guess I sorta did that, but other factors were at play. I felt that I was wasting too much time, and a radical change would be the solution. So after I met my current girl during a poker trip to Moscow, Russia, I moved. I was itching for a push, a reason to leave my current life behind, and this was it. Two or three months after I left she moved in with me, and we're still happy together.

To be honest, though, I didn't expect things to last with her. Before I left, I made the commitment that if things wouldn't work out, I would not go back or take off to someplace else. I would force myself to make something of myself HERE. Make friends, get laid, maybe an internship or so. A worthy reason in itself, since I was still living with the folks at home.

I find that I do things much better when I kind of have to, so I took away the option to just hang with my friends of brothers every once in a while in lieu of 'trying new things'.

Would I have succeeded? I can't know. What I do know is that I still waste a lot of time on the Net and 2+2. My gf and, to a lesser extent, some regulars in my favorite casino, took the place of my friends and family back home. So you can't escape your problems by moving away. But that's not the point of this post.

What I also learned is that it's very, very good to have a backup plan. When my girl didn't live with my yet, there were multiple times where I was genuinely ready to call it quits, and told her so in no uncertain terms. Not in an ultimatum way, but more like 'ok, [censored] it, guess we weren't meant to be'. She STILL tells me that I probably called her and wanted to spend time with her too much at that time. I didn't feel that I was desperate at all, but I probably was at least somewhat. Imagine if I didn't have the backup plan.

So, manupod, if you must move to be with this girl, HAVE A BACKUP PLAN FFS. From your post I gather that you want to move to be with a girl who may or may not want the same. Don't make that girl the sole reason, or you will [censored] it up for sure. Have something planned that you will do for at least a few months. Don't turn it into a 'please be with me so I don't have to leave town' situation.

[ArturiusX]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, a side note (pretend it's unrelated to my above post) but is it ever OK to move to be with a girl? On one hand that seems incredibly lame and pathetic. On the other hand, if it's true love and meant to be (shudder) then that has to happen at some point, ya?

[/ QUOTE ]

To be blunt, respect comes before love. Declaring your love for a girl while she's at another guys house isn't going to earn you much respect. I would have played hardball, say something snappy like "oh, thats how it is", and hung up.

You had 3 years to prove your worth and your level of love to this girl, and either a) you didn't do enough during the relationship to make her realise this, in which case its too late, or b) she doesn't have enough feelings to continue.

Either way, you're out of luck. Save your dignity next time. Girls go back to guys with dignity.

[tommy2]

I need some help getting out of the friend zone. A woman who worked for me 5 years ago and I stayed friends and know a lot of the same people. I recently got out of an eight year relationship. I have been more in touch with my friend, who lives about 5 hours away, since I have been single. She is very laid back and very attractive but doesn't have a boyfriend. I have arranged to be in her city to see a football game with some friends in a few weeks. I am going to come in the day before everybody else (which she is aware of) to hang out. I'd like to try and move this from friends to more that night. How do I best proceed? I get the sense she has some interest, but I don't want to embarass myself to a friend by awkwardly hitting on her. Help me be smooth.