Sick Baller (Chump?) Story from the Bahamas... WITH A GIRL

[Ansky]

I thought for a while whether I should post this or not, since I never posted a trip report. I'm sure there will be haters all like "omg you need validation from an internet board" no it's not that, its just a fun story so stfu.

So, this year at PCA by the 5th night or so I was going nuts. It was a really sick place and it was fun hanging out w/ most of the poker ppl and all, but I hadnt seen a girl in like 4 days who wasn't a trophy wife/ poker players girlfriend. The island sausage fest was driving me nuts. Luckily, a bunch of us were going out to a bar that night on the main island.

Myself, Gugel (one of my best friends from high school, took him on the trip), BadgerPro, Jurollo, Timex, Yuv, bunch of other random poker guys were all hanging around drinking in the Atlantis. If I remember correctly, I bought a bigass bottle of Belvedere (spelling?!?!) for 20 bucks at a liquor store on the main island, and was pounding it before we went out. Gugel was rocking the Bahamian Rum or something.

We were walking through the Casino on our way to the main lobby to fetch a cab, when we pass... none other than the ship it holla ballas themselves! Apathy, Raptor, TheUsher too perhaps? Don't really recall as I only really talk w/ Apathy and Raptor actively. Apathy tells us to turn around and go get a cab the other way. Gugel pulls my arm and goes "who are these guys? You sure we should follow them?" I say "yeah man, they know how to have a good time, they prob know what they are doing."

So we walk to another cab station that was apparently closer and Apathy instantly gets us a stretch hummer. 5 bucks a person. lol bahamas.

This would have been a sick baller thing to do, to roll up to this bar/club in this big pimpass limo, except that it was packed with like 14 guys and no girls. Not that I expected anything else at a poker tournament, its still just a bit stressful on a 20 year old guys mind.

We eventually roll up to the bar, and it appears the ratio is like 9 or 8-1 guy to girl basically. It was filled with poker players, a bunch of giant bahamian natives, and a few cruise ship partiers. The whole time on the ride over, Gugel (who has a long term girlfriend) told me that hes gonna wingman for me and get me a bitch, so I was obviously going to hold him to that.

As we are approaching the front, Apathy walks over to the bouncer and gives him a pound and maybe slips him some money and we all get in right away w/ no cover and no wait. Apathy is a pretty huge pimp btw, for those unaware.

We walk in and Gugel insta spots a really hot girl with a pretty fugly girl. He walks over and starts chatting them up while I go over to the bar to get a couple of drinks. I order 2 beers, which cost like 2 dollars each, and I give the bartender a 20. He starts giving me change, I say "no thanks man, you keep it." He says "no no sir (in a thick bahamian accent obv), it's too much i can't accept that." This was really weird, cause everyone I met in the bahamas was super greedy for tips, but w/e. I told him "no man, you keep it, just hook me up later w/ a drink or something." I had no [censored] clue why I said that or what I meant, but it paid off huge later.

I walk over with the two beers and give Gugel one and enter the conversation. Gugel had already done a ridiculous job of making me sound God-like apparently.

Gugel: Hey this is my friend I was telling you about.
Fugly: Do you really travel the world all year playing poker tournaments?
(I never knew playing poker could be made to sound sexy... wtf)
Myself: Yeah, you know, whenever I can. (wtf?!?!?!)
Hottie: So you just take your friends to exotic islands and stuff?!? That's so cool! Where else have you gone?
Myself: Well, I just came back from Aruba... (Aruba was like 4 months earlier).
Girls in unison: Wow!!!

We continue to make the weirdest small talk I have ever made (who knew this poker [censored] could have an appealing spin to it?) and eventually Gugel continues his A+ roll as the perfect wing man and pulls uggo away, with some story about the bar, or whatever.

I am talking to hot girl, doing my best to not burst out laughing at the absurdity of thinking poker is cool, and perhaps the sickest stroke of luck ever happens. Just as there was a slight lull in the conversation, just a brief moment of awkwardness, the bartender from before walks over w/ two fruity cocktails.

He puts them down on our table and says "Only for you my friend!" Shoots me a wink, pats me on the back, gives the girl a glance and walks away. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

AWESOME.

I wish I had a photographic memory, just to [censored] save the mental image of this chicks face. I have never felt like I was on such an absurd pedestal. She was completely awestruck. I could just see in her head, she was thinking "Wow. Who is this kid?!?!?! I'm gonna make out with Batman!!!!!!"

Of course in my head I was thinking "Act cool. Act cool. Act like this [censored] is normal." So we continue talking and eventually she gives *that* look and asks if I'd like to "dance." Obv dancing is in quotes cause I'd hardly call grinding to some random hip hop beats surrounded by large sweaty people and bobbing around like a hamster dancing.

We squeeze our way to some empty space on the dance floor and do the whole dance thing. At some point she turns around and we start making out. She really was hot. She was 18-19ish, blond hair blue eyes, freckly face, curvy body. A strong 8 at the very least. We went at it for a little while, and then I asked her if she'd like to get some fresh air. So we walk back thru the club towards the front to sit at a picnic table towards the waterfront.

What a walk of fame that was. I walked past a whoooole bunch of poker players, all who were giving me dirty smirks and making obsene gestures as the girl passed with my hand clutched in hers. As I walked past H@llinggol (who is [censored] hilarious, and a huge pimp in real life), he said in his best Borat imitation "It's niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! Sexy time! Supernovaaaaaaaa niiiiine"

We sat outside for a few minutes, and I noticed Whitelime, Taylor Caby (green plastic) and GP's girlfriend kinda pointing at us and giggling. At some point either while me and hot chick were kissing or just talking, there is a rather annoying flash, and she turns to see Taylor with a digital camera in hand, and he quickly puts it away. lol.

She asks me "is that your friend?" I say "yeah yeah, dont worry about it..." and bring her over to the bar. As I get up, Whitelime and Taylor both go "woooooo go ansky!!!" She obv doesn't know what that means, and we keep walking.

We are sipping on a drink of some sort at the bar, when fuggo and a few others return and tell her they are leaving and that she has to come as well. She is talking to them for a bit and I interject as it looks like they are winning her over. I say "hey listen shes ok, I'll take her home later"

They don't seem convinced and start getting rude and obnoxious about it. "Uh no. We are leaving. NOW." They all seemed to like me earlier in the night, I guess the fuggos were jealous that no one liked them.

At some point, when it was clear I wasn't really winning the battle, I say "LISTEN. I will pay for her cab back to your hotel (they were staying on nassau, not in the Atlantis)."

Then one of the chicks says something to the effect of me not wanting to fork up the 20 bucks for the extra cab fare.

This enrages me.

I really don't know what inspired me, but I lost it when she said that, so I decide to whip out my 10k wad of hundos sitting in my front pocket. I tear off the rubber band and wave the 10k in the girls faces and just yell out, "DO YOU THINK I GIVE TWO [censored] [censored] ABOUT 20 DOLLARS? DO YOU?!?!?!"

They are all standing there speechless for no less than 10 seconds. After some time they just say "ok... we're leaving... BYE." and run away.

I am left there alone at the bar, [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img],and obviously quicly pound my drink and order my like 15th of the night to put out the raging fire inside my brain.

I walk back over to our original group, alone and empty handed and they all go "AWWWWWWWWWW NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

"WHERE DID SHE GO?!?!?"

"YOU WERE SO IN DUDE."

yeah yeah yeah, I know.

Still though, given the ridiculous ratio in the club, and even worse ratio in the Atlantis, I was pretty happy to have hooked up at all on this trip.

Anyways, I thought it was a fun story that BBV would enjoy. If you want that pic of me and the chick, well that is up to Taylor to find it I guess [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[TIEdup14]

awesome

[keikiwai]

I really don't know what inspired me, but I lost it when she said that, so I decide to whip out my 10k wad of hundos sitting in my front pocket. I tear off the rubber band and wave the 10k in the girls faces and just yell out, "DO YOU THINK I GIVE TWO [censored] [censored] ABOUT 20 DOLLARS? DO YOU?!?!?!"

They are all standing there speechless for no less than 10 seconds. After some time they just say "ok... we're leaving... BYE." and run away.

fav part

[jumbojacks]

[ QUOTE ]
"DO YOU THINK I GIVE TWO [censored] [censored] ABOUT 20 DOLLARS? DO YOU?!?!?!"

[/ QUOTE ] lol, you should have just slapped the fugly bitch across the face w/ your 10k

[Paul B.]

Apathy is my hero

[skier_5]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ansky


thansk for what im assuming was the room service aftert this night.


<<<<[censored] faced,

like you said, im looking forward to seeing you againat a live tournament. porbably niagara since its before the pca.


holla.


drunk,,,

[catcher193]

hah funny night, good read.

[Gobias Ind.]

A+


Awesome read!

[rt1]

wow... very nice story. hahaha 10/10

[joes28]

[ QUOTE ]
Still though, given the ridiculous ratio in the club, and even worse ratio in the Atlantis, I was pretty happy to have hooked up at all on this trip.

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm you didnt hook up with a girl. You danced with a girl and bought her drinks, you didnt "hook up". If you would have at least got your fingers wet and maybe got jacked off you could consider it hooking up.

Still, nice story.