jokes you've made IRL that flopped

[pokerbobo]

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Dane Cook qualified for this thread last night during his appearance on Conan. OMG it was so awkward.

Dane: So you know how at every Halloween party there's that guy who's dressed as a penis?
Conan: No.
Dane: Oh come on, you know, the guy with the penis costume?
Conan: Uh... ok, sure.
Dane: Well here's what I decided to do! Next year I'm going to dress up as a giant vagina!
Conan: ...
Dane: And I'm gonna bump into him all night!
[audience mildly snickers]
Dane: And if there isn't a guy there dressed as a penis, well at least I'll have a couple dudes trying to talk to me all night!

[uncomfortable silence in the theater]

Dane: Oh come on, give me something!

[audience starts scattered, defeated applause]

Wow, poor Dane Cook. Is this on YouTube yet?

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Dane Cook has yet to make me laugh..... gimme Carlos Mencia