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#1
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
[ QUOTE ]
dave,this is an example of you being upset? i'm impressed. edit: katy's suggestion is softer, although i don't think this tone is all that harsh to begin with. [/ QUOTE ] edit: except for the last part. i would remove that b/c it could seal the deal on its own. |
#2
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point.
I wonder if her "friend" is some dude? |
#3
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
I'm lost. Is this just a friend you are upset with for not keeping in touch more? Or something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?
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#4
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
[ QUOTE ]
I'm lost. Is this just a friend you are upset with for not keeping in touch more? Or something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on? [/ QUOTE ] Yeah, I want to help, but I don't really get what you're going for or what is happening. Cliff Notes of your relationship to this individual? |
#5
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
Okay. I met this girl like four years ago. We have only had e-mail contact except for one face-to-face meeting since she is from a different country.
Now, she lives in America. It was weird because with going to jail, and other goings-on (I busted about three times), this year probably had more drama in it than it should have. So, to her, I may seem a little "down," which isn't too far off, really. While on the phone, all she ever does is ask "how are you, how are you, how are you...." I admit that I don't really remember her personality, but this is not a person that I normally would want to talk to. I attempt to keep things low content and fun. I don't like to lay my problems on people, but if they keep asking how things are, they will get an honest answer. She seems evasive on the phone, in e-mail land, and this bothers the living [censored] out of me. I am glad to hear that things are happening for her, but it takes a crow-bar to get any information out of her. For example, she is/was working on an independent film, and it took the second phone conversation, and me suggesting that she works on a film before she told me about it. So, there is a change, and a drifting away, I think, but I am not sure. I have called four times in the past three months. The last time I called her, I told her I only had 20 minutes on this phone card (I don't have a cell-phone plan right now), and that was all I could talk. Her answer: "That's not a bad thing." That gave me pause. I asked what that was supposed to mean, and she says she hates talking on the phone. I sent her an e-mail, asking how was her Thanksgiving. No response. So, I call today, and I not too pleased to call, really, but I keep things light. When she answers, she says "Oh, Dave," as if I just told her that her grandma died. I ask her what's up with that attitude, and she says she is sick. I offer to let her go to rest up, and she insists that we keep on talking. So, it is all good, right, then ten minutes into the conversation (one sided again), and she tells me she has to go because a friend is visiting. Other Cliffs Notes: 1- She wants to live in Los Angeles, and I am the only person she knows out here. 1+1=2 2- She is probably like me, with a short [censored] limit. I am wondering if I have somehow slighted her? 3- It's been two years since we talked. I have a feeling she wants to talk about "something" but I can't put my finger on it. 4- She's a girl, and this would be standard: "something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?" (sorry, Katy) 5- She says she will talk to me again soon. I doubt this is the form, or the response she was thinking of. |
#6
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
[ QUOTE ]
Okay. I met this girl like four years ago. We have only had e-mail contact except for one face-to-face meeting since she is from a different country. Now, she lives in America. It was weird because with going to jail, and other goings-on (I busted about three times), this year probably had more drama in it than it should have. So, to her, I may seem a little "down," which isn't too far off, really. While on the phone, all she ever does is ask "how are you, how are you, how are you...." I admit that I don't really remember her personality, but this is not a person that I normally would want to talk to. I attempt to keep things low content and fun. I don't like to lay my problems on people, but if they keep asking how things are, they will get an honest answer. She seems evasive on the phone, in e-mail land, and this bothers the living [censored] out of me. I am glad to hear that things are happening for her, but it takes a crow-bar to get any information out of her. For example, she is/was working on an independent film, and it took the second phone conversation, and me suggesting that she works on a film before she told me about it. So, there is a change, and a drifting away, I think, but I am not sure. I have called four times in the past three months. The last time I called her, I told her I only had 20 minutes on this phone card (I don't have a cell-phone plan right now), and that was all I could talk. Her answer: "That's not a bad thing." That gave me pause. I asked what that was supposed to mean, and she says she hates talking on the phone. I sent her an e-mail, asking how was her Thanksgiving. No response. So, I call today, and I not too pleased to call, really, but I keep things light. When she answers, she says "Oh, Dave," as if I just told her that her grandma died. I ask her what's up with that attitude, and she says she is sick. I offer to let her go to rest up, and she insists that we keep on talking. So, it is all good, right, then ten minutes into the conversation (one sided again), and she tells me she has to go because a friend is visiting. Other Cliffs Notes: 1- She wants to live in Los Angeles, and I am the only person she knows out here. 1+1=2 2- She is probably like me, with a short [censored] limit. I am wondering if I have somehow slighted her? 3- It's been two years since we talked. I have a feeling she wants to talk about "something" but I can't put my finger on it. 4- She's a girl, and this would be standard: "something that escalated into no-man's land and you don't know what's going on?" (sorry, Katy) 5- She says she will talk to me again soon. I doubt this is the form, or the response she was thinking of. [/ QUOTE ] Okay, now I get it. Dave, there is no relationship here. At all. Simply let her know that if and when she moves to L.A. you'd love to show her around. Then stop calling her. The ball's in her court. |
#7
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
To be frank, it sounds like she's trying to end the relationship. A better question is, why are you trying to continue it? It doesn't sound like you're much interested in her either.
Sometimes it's just best to let things go thier way. Who knows, in a few months she might call you with an attitude change. As it stands, I would just stop calling her. Best of luck either way, but it certainly seems you could invest your time in better friends. |
#8
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
Okay. I could re-write like this:
Hello ***** *dammit, there is no way to end it. No way to just say goodbye. I guess long-term relationships are hard to keep, no matter the conditions. Hello ***** *nope, that don't work either. Hello ***** I decided that I am not calling you anymore. I do not feel that I have to spell out the reasons, as I believe the feelings are mutual, or rather, I am doing all of the work and you clearly don't give a two flying [censored]. *nope, that is not good either. It's funny. Just about all of my friendships, I feel like I do most of the work, you know. Hello ***** I realize that my life is [censored] up, and that in many ways I am [censored] up. As a good friend, I hope that you are not worrying, and I would not expect you to feel worry for me. It is best for both of us..... *no, the martyr is never good. Hello ***** Hearing from you over the past few years has been a joy in my life. I always looked forward to you and your thoughts. There is no doubt in my mind that you are a special girl, and I hope that you succeed and be happy in your life. I had a hope that I would be able to witness how your life turned out, and that the attachments that may have manifested would have matured in there proper directions. I am no longer calling or writing. I feel that it is better for both of us to simply hold our memories as they are. I understand that you are creating a new world for yourself, and I understand that I am not able to be what I should promise. Thank you for being a wonderful person, and a bright light in what has at times been a dark world. With love and best of wishes: daveT. |
#9
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
[ QUOTE ]
Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point. I wonder if her "friend" is some dude? [/ QUOTE ] i think being gentle is a good idea. i think the email is fine overall but that you get too defensive at the end. [ QUOTE ] . . . And yes, I am starting to feel that way as well. This has all been on my mind for the past week. If you don't e-mail me back, I will take that as a cut line. I won't say that I don't care, but I have let closer people go. [/ QUOTE ] granted idk how long you've been trying to maintain contact w/little effort on her part. saying something like, but the signals here are very mixed. |
#10
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Re: December\'s \"You\'ll Shoot Your Eye Out\" NC Chat thread
[ QUOTE ]
Your right tarheels, the letter does not deliver on the intro's promise. Face to face, I can be way more honest and rude, but here, I intend to be gentle. I am not actually mad, just confused. I think that the letter is firm enough that she would get the point. I wonder if her "friend" is some dude? [/ QUOTE ] The friend is always some other dude. |
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