Love a girl but there is a dilemma

[Propertarian]

I'll do a little bit of "science" part:

A) While people believe that "true compatibility" is very rare, most people who describe that they have met someone that is compatible with them will meet several people that they believe they are "compatible" with throughout their lives.

B) Most relationships that are considered excellent by the participants prior to year four are viewed as considerably less excellent after year four (on the rare occasions that they still exist).

C) Obviously what STD it is is important. If it's treatable or minor...

[latefordinner]

so herpes then-

what's the worst case scenario - you're with her, you contract it, you break up.

So maybe for the rest of your life you are a little itchy a couple times a year, or quite often, you get a few outbreaks and then spend the rest of your life symptom free.

Herpes prevalence is estimated at between 10-25% of all sexually active people between the ages of 15-25 (only about 10% know it) so it's really not all that uncommon and really not all that big of a deal.

[valenzuela]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll do a little bit of "science" part:

A) While people believe that "true compatibility" is very rare, most people who describe that they have met someone that is compatible with them will meet several people that they believe they are "compatible" with throughout their lives.

B) Most relationships that are considered excellent by the participants prior to year four are viewed as considerably less excellent after year four (on the rare occasions that they still exist).

C) Obviously what STD it is is important. If it's treatable or minor...

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT.This is probably your best post ever.

[guesswest]

Since you've clarified that it's herpes - if you use a condom only when she has a visible outbreak, your chances of contracting it would actually be very low.

But even if they weren't, it's just not that big a deal. If it's a serious relationship I say just don't worry about it. I'd live with contracting herpes in a long-term relationship, and certainly in a marriage - it's better than the alternatives.

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]
Depends on the STI I suppose. HIV might make me blink a few times and have a long conversation, everything else either treatable or fairly inconsequential.

STIs are still way overly stigmatized for something so friggin common (HPV for example is now commonly put at 30-50% of all sexually active people 15-25 in the US).

Besides, unless you're a virgin there's a decent chance that you are already an asymptomatic carrier for HPV or herpes (no test for HPV in males, herpes tests fairly unreliable). The majority of males with the two STIs above (and I'm guessing you are talking about one of those since gon/chla/syph are all treatable) are asymtpomatic.

If you "love" someone, and yet you are considering dumping them because they have an STI, then you should probably go back and look at what you think love and commitment are about.

Now if you just want to have a one night stand and you find out your sex partner has an STI, there's perhaps reason to move on to another pasture, but that's another story.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah herpes is treatable. As far as considering dumping I wasn't really considering it at all I just wanted to hear other people's opinions about it.

Thanks for the information.

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]

Since you've clarified that it's herpes - if you use a condom only when she has a visible outbreak, your chances of contracting it would actually be very low.

But even if they weren't, it's just not that big a deal. If it's a serious relationship I say just don't worry about it. I'd live with contracting herpes in a long-term relationship, and certainly in a marriage - it's better than the alternatives.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I tend to agree. I think finding a mate that stimulates you both physically and intellectually is worth the price of any treatable disease.

Alternative is lonliness.

[BPA234]

Unless you are ugly as sin with a 1" micro-penis, you should leave her and find someone else. There is no such thing as "the one", there are many "the ones". Further, no matter how much in love you are today, I guarantee that you will not feel the same way 5-years from now and you will regret and very likely resent her for the "gift" that she is about to give you.

[Speedlimits]

[ QUOTE ]
Unless you are ugly as sin with a 1" micro-penis, you should leave her and find someone else. There is no such thing as "the one", there are many "the ones". Further, no matter how much in love you are today, I guarantee that you will not feel the same way 5-years from now and you will regret and very likely resent her for the "gift" that she is about to give you.

[/ QUOTE ]

While I agree their is no such thing as a "soulmate," I must concede that the probability of me finding someone as good looking,smart,funny,understanding etc, and that feels the same way about me as I do her is very low.

[FortunaMaximus]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Since you've clarified that it's herpes - if you use a condom only when she has a visible outbreak, your chances of contracting it would actually be very low.

But even if they weren't, it's just not that big a deal. If it's a serious relationship I say just don't worry about it. I'd live with contracting herpes in a long-term relationship, and certainly in a marriage - it's better than the alternatives.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah I tend to agree. I think finding a mate that stimulates you both physically and intellectually is worth the price of any treatable disease.

Alternative is lonliness.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't disagree. As to whether I'd make the same decision, well. It depends on the woman, really.

But if you love her enough to take those kinds of risks, I can't imagine that'd be a love that'd disintegrate in a few years, so.

Good luck.

[hmkpoker]

[ QUOTE ]

B) Most relationships that are considered excellent by the participants prior to year four are viewed as considerably less excellent after year four (on the rare occasions that they still exist).

[/ QUOTE ]

Humans are probably best described as "serial monogamists" [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]