Post deleted by Mat Sklansky - Page 4

Fast Food Knight · #31 08-03-2007, 04:54 PM

I absolutely think women are mental equals to men. She kept herself in the situation and is 100% responsible for that.

OP is a douche for a) the way he presents his story of all his "guilt" and sense of "responsibility" for his ex's emotional state while completely disregarding the fact that he has a current girlfriend coupled with b) his lame justifications of why he "honestly doesn't know what to do." The right thing to do is ridiculously obvious but he likes banging her.

However, do you really think a person is not accountable for the pain they cause someone else just because the other person is an adult and mentally capable of making their own decisions? I would look down on a girl who casually slept with her ex despite him spiraling into depression and clinging to hopes of getting back together. Like I said, I just think it's selfish behavior to use someone when it's obviously hurting them in the long-run and they are too weak and dependent to have enough willpower to stop it. Male, female, duck, anyone.

#32 08-03-2007, 05:01 PM

Fast Food Knight · #33 08-03-2007, 05:04 PM

Well if this is the kind of situation that will only make sense if you relay all the details of some weird, [censored] up scenario that apparently we would all "understand" if we just knew what we were talking about, then don't come asking for advice if you're going to post too few details for us to make a fair judgement.

happyhappyhappy · #34 08-03-2007, 05:04 PM

Well now that its all figured out, lets see some pics.

I wanna know what this girl looks like that makes you almost pass out in bed bc she's so good at [censored].

Anacardo · #35 08-03-2007, 05:13 PM

LOL 'smart enough to likely understand what is going on.'

LOL.

LOL.

"Dude, if she's stupid enough to trust me, I can't help that."

You cats are alllllll the same.

jh21hook · #36 08-03-2007, 05:23 PM

Is he accountable? Of course, he was accountable from the first post break-up sex. He has been at that for a while though and obvously has no trouble living with himself in that regard.

The question is "what should I do now?"

The answer is, whatever floats your boat.

This girl is in this with her eyes open. If by her actions she is agreeing to this type of relationship, why change things now? They have both been acting this way towards each other already.

I guess I just don't understand people that act a certain way, get deeply involved in a situation, and then think FOR THE FIRST TIME...OMG what am I doing? So the girl is in a relationship that at first blush seems like a damaging and stupid situation for her...yeah, so...half the world is in a damaging relationship of one kind or another. It is just that not all of the damaging realationships are easily viewable from the outside at first glance(and obviously, some are more damaging and less healthy than others). She isn't being physically abused and certainly seems to be capable of free choice and even manipulation. So, let her do her thing. She will change it when she's ready. Maybe he fills something for her mentally or enotionally. If it is perhaps only as a pawn in a relationship real-live role-play that she repeatedly acts out in her life to relive a troubled relationship in her past, at some point she with obtain her cathartic relief and be able to move on, but not because of his actions. Heck, I don't know maybe she just likes the way he smells and that positive outweighs all the negatives. Stranger things have happened.

My point is, it is not obvious to me that he is hurting her in the long run. He may well be, but I'll let her decide that for herself.

esad · #37 08-03-2007, 05:28 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Why is a girl who has sex with a guy always portrayed as being victimized by him unless they get married or something? Don't females get accorded the mental status of adults too, just like guys? I don't remember OP saying he raped her. I'd go so far as to assume she was probably having a good time -- her continuous coming back for more implies as much.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, she's 100% responsible for her actions. But, whenever two people break up there is always one that either doesn't want to break up and wants to less then the other. In this case it sounds like the girl really didn't want to break up with him. He knew this and continued to bang her. I'm sure in her mind she thought that if she stuck with it long enough that he would eventually get back with her.

In this case the OP never had any intention of getting back with her, but continued to sex her up and let her continue her delusions that there is some chance with him. That's a douche bag move and the OP should be smart enough to know this. I assume that he's fairly young and dumb though so he'll have to chalk it up as another hard life lesson learned.

What we can learn from this story: Don't have regular sex with someone that you know wants a permanent relationship with you when you are not interested in a relationship with them. It causes many problems down the road.

esad · #38 08-03-2007, 05:30 PM

[ QUOTE ]
And WRT to my current girlfriend, again, you have no idea what you are talking about. She's fully aware of the fact that I still talk to the old chic, and is smart enough to understand what likely goes on. We broke up for a brief time and she knows I hung out with her <insert other personal and irrelevant details here> and you guys should chill on that. She's a smart girl and knows what she is getting herself into.

[/ QUOTE ]

If that's the case please direct your current GF to this thread. It will be interesting to read her comments.

Blarg · #39 08-03-2007, 05:31 PM

Very on point posts by FFK and cardo.

.Alex. · #40 08-03-2007, 05:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Like I said, I just think it's selfish behavior to use someone when it's obviously hurting them in the long-run and they are too weak and dependent to have enough willpower to stop it.

[/ QUOTE ]
It's easy to twist it around and say that it's selfish for a girl to keep trying to get back together with a guy who broke up with her and has another girlfriend now. Sure, she's probably confused and an emotional wreck, but guys have feelings too you know. Hell, that's why he posted this! Why should it be the solely the guy's responsibility to stop sex from hapenning? But no, you decided to come on here to defend the girl and bash the guy.