Canadian (Socialized) Health Care

[evank15]

Monday night I developed light abdominal pain which graduated into harsher abdominal pain by Tuesday morning. I decided it would be a good idea to go up to the local walk-in clinic.

So I get up there and there is five or six people ahead of me. By this time the pain is a lot worse. I tell the receptionist I'm in rough shape. She asks for my BC Care Card, asks who my family doctor is, and in three minutes a doctor is seeing me. The doctor asks me to pee in a cup. Okay. Five minutes later he says my pee is clean, but judging by where the pain is it could be my appendix. He tells me to go to the emergency at the hospital.

Front of the line service at Walk-in Clinic, urine test and consultation. Cost: $0

I get to the emergency. There's a woman at the reception with some useless problem. She also happens to be american. There are also a number of others with less serious maladies waiting. By this time I am really hurting, probably the worst pain in my life. After a few minutes they talk to me. I barf in front of them twice. I give them my walk in clinic paper and my care card. They admit me. Nurse comes to see me, says doctor will be right with you.

Ten minutes later I get an IV going and they hit me with Gravol and morphine. Not enough I say. Half hour later they give me more. Doctor says I need to have an MRI to make sure it's my appendix and not colitis or something else. 30 mins later it's MRI time. Wow, that was easy. It's my appendix. Doctor says I'll be in for surgery ASAP. I say I need more morphine. Finally they hit me with enough and I pass out. A few hours roll by while I'm sleeping. 5PM comes and it's surgery time. I am so high on morphine by this time, I have never been more comfortable in my life. It turns out the Chief of Medicine is going to be doing my surgery. Sounds good to me. By 7:00 I'm in post-op. 4 nurses there taking care of just me. By 9:00 I get to my room. Nice big room shared with three old women. I get one of the window quarters. Yay. More morphine. Morphine throughout the night from the pretty young nurse assigned to us. Quite comfortable.

Now it's Wednesday night and I'm home. It was an ordeal, but I got through it. And guess how much money I owe? Yep, you guessed it.

For all the ****ing on this country's health care system gets, I think it deserves a round of applause once in a while. The system served me well. Thank you Tommy Douglas, thank you Canada.

[valenzuela]

[ QUOTE ]
And guess how much money I owe?

[/ QUOTE ]

Its not that hard to guess.

Money you owe = (The taxes you pay/Money the goverment recollects from taxes) * The cost of ure operation.

[Taso]

You pay in your colossal taxes.

[zasterguava]

[ QUOTE ]
You pay in your colossal taxes.

[/ QUOTE ]


Solution= PRIVATISE!!!!!

Privatise= COMPETITION!!!

Competition= THE BEST POSSIBLE SERVICE!!!

The above = BULL [censored]!

[JayTee]

[ QUOTE ]


Front of the line service at Walk-in Clinic, urine test and consultation. Cost: $0



[/ QUOTE ]

for who?

[vulturesrow]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You pay in your colossal taxes.

[/ QUOTE ]


Solution= PRIVATISE!!!!!

Privatise= COMPETITION!!!

Competition= THE BEST POSSIBLE SERVICE!!!

The above = BULL [censored]!

[/ QUOTE ]

Eyewatering eloquence there...

[ALawPoker]

The year was 1998, my friends, and I had a mild headache. It graduated into a migraine and I also had severe diarrhea. I decided it would be a good idea to walk across the street to the massive hospital I happen to live by.

So I get there and tell the receptionist I am in rough shape. She says "You just got here, you wacko, how rough could it possibly be?" She asks to see my credit card, and within a few minutes a doctor is seeing me. The doctor shoves his fingers up my ass to investigate the situation. Okay. Five minutes later he tells me everything is OK, but since I'm really paranoid and have deep pockets, he suggests I go to the emergency room.

Polite treatment from a receptionist, professional fingers up my ass. And I paid for it myself.

I get to the emergency room, and there's a woman with an equally useless problem. You'd think this service was free or something. There are also a number of others waiting, also with less serious maladies than the diarrhea I noticed about 20 minutes ago. By this time I've already [censored] my pants three times, probably the most uncomfortable waiting room experience of my entire life. After a few minutes they talk to me. I barf in front of them twice (but that only cost me about 20 seconds according to the unofficial tally). I give them my papers and agree to pay them for their work. They admit me.

Ten minutes later a nurse is wiping my ass and they give me a sponge bath too. Not enough I say. I'm rich, damn it. Half hour later they give me more.

They do a lot more things to try to make me feel better. Three ponies come to visit me, and one of them can talk. I say "Hello, Mr. Pony." He kindly returns the greeting.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

"Diarrhea," I say, in obvious shame.

"It happens to the best of us," he reassures me.

"Thanks," I say.

"I know just the trick!" he tells me. "If you whine long enough, you'll get surgery. And if you get surgery, you get morphine."

"Hmmm," I ponder. "Morphine sounds great."

"Ya," he says. "Don't forget, I accept tips."

"Don't worry, I'm rich," I tell him. "But what kind of surgery would I get? I kind of like my organs."

"You don't need your appendix do you?"

"Hmm, I guess not. Thanks Pony, you've been a big help today."

A few days later, I finally made it home. It was pretty ugly, but I persevered. They sent me a bill in the mail, and I paid them.

For all the [censored] our health care system gets, it sure worked out great for me.

[Taso]

Dude...like, C- at best.

[ALawPoker]

lol, what exactly am I being graded on? I didn't realize bizarre replies to strange OPs had some sort of established criteria. Let me know what you're looking for and I'll try to satisfy you next time I post.

[Mr_Moore]

C-? i liked it, B+