My roommate can be a POS sometimes!

[ItalianFX]

So last night I was trying to get to sleep, and I heard my roommate come back from the bar and was talking to another one of our friend's who was dating a girl who was our neighbor from last year.

Anyways, so they are talking and all of a sudden this loud boom goes off, sounds like a shotgun, it scared the blutarski out of me. I jumped out of bed and then I thought, "oh [censored] maybe someone shot my roommate!" I stand there to listen for a few seconds to see if I hear anything else and then I hear him laughing.

So I open my door and I'm walking down the steps and I just get hit with this wall of corrosive gas and I start choking and run back up the steps to get some fresh air, and I'm like "what the [censored]!" I then try to go down again and I'm still choking and I yell at him to open the door. I run back up to my room and get a sweatshirt and put it on and then cover my mouth and nose and then jump outside. There was [censored] all over the floor near the bottom of the steps, [censored] all over the walls, ceiling, and carpet. He even got it all over his new Penguins jersey that he just bought for $185. There was aluminum foil all over the living room.

Here, he took a 2 liter bottle and put aluminum foil and The Works bathroom cleaner together and made a bomb. He shook it up while he was holding it and before he could throw it out the door, it exploded in his hand. He was probably down there for over an hour scrubbing the walls and cleaning up everything. The rag he used is sitting in the sink, and the downstairs smells like the gas.

Should I kick in him the ovaries or contact Chuck Norris to give him a roundhouse kick to the uterus?

BTW, Wednesday night we went to the Penguins game and we both bought $185 Sidney Crosby Penguins jersey's. That night he went out with his friend to a bar and he got ketchup all over the sleeve and some on the penguin logo. Now he has corrosive bathroom cleaner on it.

Maybe I should contact a museum and tell them I found one of the remaining Neanderthals of our time?