This is why you should TRACK your HANDS....

[ianlippert]

[ QUOTE ]
At Poker Stars, their RNG is powered by Sierra Software (rubbish), written some 8 or 9 years ago. It has merely been updated to run on the Internet. If you really want to get better at online poker, check out ebay, flea markets and garage sales. Find an old copy of any Sierra card game and just play with it. Pay attention to the patterns and sequences as you play, take notes on how the cards fall etc., pay attention to those little idiosyncrasies that catch your eye and your game should greatly improve!


[/ QUOTE ]

I've been playing BlackJack on Leisure Suit Larry for the past 6 months. If Stars ever opens up some blackjack tables its free money for me suckers!

[5thStreetHog]

This is a classic site lol. I can see every idiot who constantly writes those "*****poker.com is rigged!!!"posts here, after they run bad for a few days,saying,Ahahhh i knew it!!!!....I just donked 50 buyins in two days at absolute.Was it my horrible non-existent poker skills?or was it the dreaded DOOM SWITCH! Only the Shadow knows for sure!

[Jeff Oneye]

I think I'm going to take Nick Danger's advice and play on the internet's only acceptable site: "Action Poker." Anybody play there recently? Meet up with any PokerConduct kooks? I've actually heard a few PokerConduct nutjobs on Pokerstars. They complain the software is rigged to generate rake as well as the other typical conspiracy theories. One PokerConduct kook alleged P'stars was owned by the Mossad and used to fund counter-terrorism operations and catch Islamic money launderers. Ugh. Nick Danger is brilliant. He's a parasite without parallel, scraping the carcasses of compulsive gamblers and extracting every last morsel of meat.

Jeffrey

[poker-penguin]

I'm convinced PokerStars is owned by the Mossad. I mean they are based in the Isle of Man, a well known hub of international espionage, and nobody knows where Lee Jones was when Kennedy got shot!

OMGWTFBBQ Joe Hachem just kicked down my front door! Free teh internets! Viva Poker Conducccccarrgh.

[Sand]

I'm convinced...

[ QUOTE ]
Absolute Poker Infiltrated & Exposed!

Nick Danger again:
You seek the definitive truth and I provide it through my countless underground sources from around the globe. Check with me weekly!

Recently, an elite programmer I associate with known as Dillinger (real name being withheld at his request), contacted me concerning a project we've been collaborating on referencing the conduct and honesty of online gambling sites.

Next to intricate programming skills, Dillingers other passion is spending the bulk of his free time (as so many of us do) playing poker online. However, he took things a step further and designed a program which most of us only wish we had the expertise to construct and then implement.

What you are about to read is without doubt the most eye opening information you'll find 'anywhere' concerning the integrity of online poker and casinos! So read on to discover the Absolute Truth!

After long hours and close observation of online play, Dillinger began noticing a pattern of events that struck a nerve and presented him with serious doubts concerning the creditability of the program software being used at online gambling sites. He'd always known there were various methods a site could use to manipulate software and eventually concluded that every poker site he was playing at was using some form of underhanded programming to extract player funds dishonestly. As a result, Dillinger ventures on a quest to discover the truth.

Our man of the hour immediately set out to construct a 'Trojan Stealth Virus' that could infiltrate any gambling sites internal program structure. Enter undetected, spider through all system hierarchy, compile specific information on the program integrity, check for tampering, evaluate algorithms etc. then send the results back to it's origin without a trace.

He successfully sent this 'Stealth Virus' to the computer servers at Absolute Poker to investigate. What it brought back will make the hair on the back of your neck stand on end if you play for real money at Absolute Poker!

Here are the findings of this covert maneuver at AP:

First off, Dillingers Stealth Virus sends back conformation regarding my article on the dreaded DOOM SWITCH!

The Doom Switch 'is on' at AP! It's a program virus used by Absolute Poker, aimed at members accounts. It causes all funds in your account to disappear through habitual loosing hands. Once the virus depletes all the funds in your account, statistics show that 92% of all gamblers will make additional deposits in an attempt to recover these losses.

This same ploy is also used to compel players who win money in freerolls to make deposits after loosing their freeroll cash. The average freeroll winner never increases their winnings much beyond $50. It's designed to give the player a false sense of security when they find themselves winning a freeroll and then win a little more at other tables. Once all the freeroll money is gone, it induces most players to break down and finally begin making real money deposits.

Next we learned that 'Program Dealing' is being used over at AP. Program Dealing is a special program designed to take away any aspect of random card generation! It pre-determines which cards will fall during a game, rather than allowing the cards to fall by random chance. Just another one of the many tricks used in Absolutes sinister arsenal!

Another program device AP uses, will automatically choose which cards players are dealt and predetermine the outcome of that game. This is most likely used to simulate a dry spell, which follows you from seat to seat, effecting 'you personally' and not allowing each seat to continually be dealt randomly or fairly!

They appear to use detectors that capture all the windows you may be using on your computer while playing at Absolute Poker. For what reason, we can only speculate.

Dillingers newly constructed 'Program' has conclusively proven that Absolute Poker is most certainly deceiving their members by stealing their deposits using systematic program procedures. This is only the beginning and there will be more to come.

You must pass this information on to every online poker player you know! It's your duty to help inform others of impending doom!

All of Dillingers future findings on corrupt sites will be posted here as they filter in! So watch for PokerConduct.com mailings and check back often!

[/ QUOTE ]

[Mason Hellmuth]

[ QUOTE ]
You seek the definitive truth and I provide it through my countless underground sources from around the globe. Check with me weekly!

[/ QUOTE ]
For some reason I imagined this in the fake Geraldo Rivera voice from Conan O'Brien, and it was awesome.

[Mendacious]

[ QUOTE ]
I've been playing BlackJack on Leisure Suit Larry for the past 6 months. If Stars ever opens up some blackjack tables its free money for me suckers!


[/ QUOTE ]

SFOLOL

(Spit food out..lol)

[paumd]

This guy is a genius. He has tapped the "poker is rigged" market like no one else. I can't wait for his "member's only" website, where for a low monthly fee he will tell you all about how to beat the RNG on these sites.

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
I love that site. It's just so damn funny. So many retards, and the guy running it writes the most retarded articles, I'm amazed people actually fall for it.

[ QUOTE ]

Our man of the hour immediately set out to construct a 'Trojan Stealth Virus' that could infiltrate any gambling sites internal program structure.
[/quoet]

lolz.

[/ QUOTE ]


How people believe this stuff or delube themselves into thinking that the cards all 'run funny' on these sites is fascinating to me.
Albeit also annoying.

My first PPM cruise in 2005 I had to have dinner with 2 other guys who were convinced that they set it up to let the fish win, the cards run funny, etc etc.
Wouldn't shut-up about their AA all-in getting called by 72o and losing...or how the reason I hadn't noticed it was because I was a high-volume player and they were rewarding me for playing so much on the site...but WATCH-OUT because they're going to change the switch on me soon.


Should be noted that it's not like the guys who believe this stuff are completely retarded and running around with tin-foil on their heads.
They are average, everyday Americans who do NOT think that aliens killed Kennedy or anything like that.

They just seem to be normal folks who play fairly iffy poker (but not completely horrible) who just can't trust that the evil computers actually aren't somehow setting them up.


Also, many of these players who 'swear they are through with this crap because it's obvious the site won't let them win' really don't mean it and they just go back and play again.

This is another aspect (threatening to quit forever over and over) that I find somewhat interesting.

[train.]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I love that site. It's just so damn funny. So many retards, and the guy running it writes the most retarded articles, I'm amazed people actually fall for it.

[ QUOTE ]

Our man of the hour immediately set out to construct a 'Trojan Stealth Virus' that could infiltrate any gambling sites internal program structure.
[/quoet]

lolz.

[/ QUOTE ]


How people believe this stuff or delube themselves into thinking that the cards all 'run funny' on these sites is fascinating to me.
Albeit also annoying.

My first PPM cruise in 2005 I had to have dinner with 2 other guys who were convinced that they set it up to let the fish win, the cards run funny, etc etc.
Wouldn't shut-up about their AA all-in getting called by 72o and losing...or how the reason I hadn't noticed it was because I was a high-volume player and they were rewarding me for playing so much on the site...but WATCH-OUT because they're going to change the switch on me soon.


Should be noted that it's not like the guys who believe this stuff are completely retarded and running around with tin-foil on their heads.
They are average, everyday Americans who do NOT think that aliens killed Kennedy or anything like that.

They just seem to be normal folks who play fairly iffy poker (but not completely horrible) who just can't trust that the evil computers actually aren't somehow setting them up.


Also, many of these players who 'swear they are through with this crap because it's obvious the site won't let them win' really don't mean it and they just go back and play again.

This is another aspect (threatening to quit forever over and over) that I find somewhat interesting.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]


nOOb




[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]