beat: my eyesight is REALLLLLLLLLLY bad (trip report, w/pics)

[BowToYourSensei]

so i got really depressed last night over those powder blue mormon clowns beating the warriors, finally decided to call up a couple of buddies and go to the bars (tuesday night drinking ftw).

i forgot to bring my glasses or put on my contacts. this is very bad news for me because as it is i'm horribly nearsighted (not sure the exact prescription, but i can't make out the STOP on a stop sign from 20 feet away), and when i'm drunk, i'm legally blind.

anyway, we're at the bar and on the other end of the bar (i hadn't begun to drink yet) i see this girl who i think is smoking hot...legit re-creation would have to be something along the lines of:



except for the inability to wear a 2 piece.

i buy her a couple of drinks, she returns the favor. i'm pretty drunk so i go up to her and start talking. we go to one of the side rooms and as i go i see a look of concern on my friend's face. i don't quite get it, but whatever.

so we fool around, she goes down on me, all is well.

as i go up to go back to my friend to get another drink, he asks me "dude, what did you do?"

"got head from that girl over there"

"......."

"what?"

now i'm REALLY confused, so i ask to borrow the glasses of the bartender for a moment and look back at her and suddenly i see:



i immediately get a ride home, i don't say a word, go to the shower, turn it on and spend the next half hour in the fetal position.

moral of the story: friends don't let friends go to bars blind.

[Wheelzie]

standard

[bmwguy525]

tuesday night drinking is obv the shtt

...being blind and fooling with chicks who are uglier than most men is nottttt

[Lurker.]

did she have a dick?

[siihp_wrecked]

[bmwguy525]

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who the hell are you?? sensei is something around here

[BowToYourSensei]

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did she have a dick?

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i am so fine with not knowing the answer to this

[BowToYourSensei]

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impressive

[sethypooh21]

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impressive

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Misdirected, but yes, VNH.

[jschell]

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i forgot to bring my glasses or put on my contacts.

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I find this a little hard to believe. Maybe I'm just blinder than you, but I never "forget" to put on my glasses/contacts because I can't see [censored] without them...