please convince me to quit poker forever or something

[saucyspade19]

Tl;dr Cliff notes: long stupid story of an above-average nit who needs your help to decide whether or not to quit.

I don't even know where to begin. I am weary of posting a bunch of personal crap on here, but I need the input of fellow 2p2ers and poker players to come to some kind of a conclusion. I have been playing for 3 years, started in the middle of college and have progressed to the lofty online limits of nl25 and nl50, as well as (up to) 2/4 limit O8, and occasional micro razz. I hate sng’s, but I’ve played thousands of HU sng from $2-30, and .50/1 HU tables.

I have been a student of the game since I discovered poker. I’ve read the books, watched a bunch of video, read threads on 2p2 for countless hours, and above all, played a ton of hands. I can take a few weeks off from playing when I’m running/playing bad, but I always find myself reading through hands on here, and thinking about lines and such. Poker has become a pretty big part of my life.

I graduated this summer from a pretty decent school with a neuropsychology degree and a minor in economics. I’m currently hating life, because I have to get cornea transplants before I get a real job (tl;dr story from bbv4l ), and I am stuck looking for a part time job and being a bum. However, it has afforded me ample time to play poker, albeit with basically no bankroll.

I have deposited exactly once, last year, 50 bucks on full tilt. Played nl10, built it into 150, started playin nl25, built it up to 400, then ran like [censored], ran it into the ground, rebuilt from my last 9 into 400 again, rinse and repeat another 3 times almost exactly the same way. I am currently on the bottom of another cycle.

In all this, I cashed out small amounts at a time a bunch of times, wound up putting that away for a computer fund that got used this summer when my dell died. Basically, I should be considered a losing player for the amount of hours I've put in, and the relatively insignificant amount of money I've made.

It was cute the first few times I built a roll from nothing, but it is driving me insane. I’ve pretty much conceded that nl10 is unbeatable, but micro O8 and micro sng are grindable, and that’s what I’ve been busying myself with. But the play is so horrible, and it’s tough to walk the line between aggressing against people who won’t fold when you know they have a weak hand, and trying not to get sucked out with big hands. Hand reading is useless, pot odds irrelevant, table image non-existent.

I’ve found when I move up to where they respect my raises (lol) I play a lot better, and I don’t feel like I’m wasting my poker abilities. I am a nit, but not in poker, where I play position and other players about as much as I play my own hand. However, it seems like this is an easily solvable problem. Just deposit enough money to play nl25 and nl50 comfortably, and go with it. Well, this is where I think my problem might be. I am a huge life nit. My parents are uber-conservative people, and hate my “gambling” and all I ever hear from them is constant berating about how gambling breaks up families, and how I have a gambling problem. I maintain that I am a winning player, and I have never gone busto. This summer I did go busto, and I’ve gone back to my borrowing 5 and trying to run that into a roll, and I got to 100 and busted it on a hilarious run today.

I am so sure that I am better than most of the idiots who deposit and lose 500 bucks every week on full tilt, but I am paranoid of becoming one of them. I am not flush with cash at the moment, and by that I mean I am basically busto until I land a part time job.

I play good on stake money; one of my friends staked me for the 1/2 game at majestic star casino a few times, and although he contends I was a cardrack, I never failed to deliver him back at least the stake, if not a buyin or two. However, I’ve never been staked online, and I don’t know if that is what I need, but the reality of the situation is, I am probably not going to be playing to my potential, improving my game and learning without moving up, one way or another.

I’ve given you a tl;dr amount of information on myself and my game. So give me a plan, please. I really, really want someone to convince me this is futile, or tell me something/do something to get me out of this holding pattern. I don’t flood this forum with stupid posts because I know no one gives a [censored] about standard beats that we all suffer. However, this time I need some help, and I value you guy's opinions on this topic, since I'm sure some of you have been in this spot. Thanks for the help.

[hed zup]

deposit a proper bankroll once - if it doesnt work out for you then take up climbing trees as a hobby

[d0nkaments]

quit poker forever or something

[sharkscopeaholic]

i didnt read all that, but maybe you should take your whole bankroll to the highest full buy in limit and see if you can double up or more, if you bust then you quit or just put more money in and do a one buy in cash game again

[Lori]

[MatthewRyan]

tldr

[RickAstleyFan]

Some people, although smart enough to play poker, just shouldn't.

You are one of those people.

[Janis N.]

You should be able to beat NL10 after all the time you've invested. Just grind it out level by level.

And the level of opposition is no excuse. If you're any good at all you crush levels where they don't respect your raises.

[effinA]

the secret??

[Jamsym]

Move up to where they respect your raises LDO

Also you have som fancy sounding degree so get a job and then pay $2000 into full tilt with bonus's and rakeback and start a proper roll.