Favorite golf quotes.

[JavaNut]

How did you get a 13 on the xx hole?

I missed a long put for a 12!

[pgjcbsn]

"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." -Craig Stadler

[faded]

The critical opening phrase of this poem will always be the grip. Which the hands unite to form a single unit by the simple overlap of the little finger. Lowly and slowly the clubhead is led back. Pulled into position not by the hands, but by the body which turns away from the target shifting weight to the right side without shifting balance. Tempo is everything; perfection unobtainable as the body coils down at the top of the swing. Theres a slight hesitation. A little nod to the gods. Yeah, to the gods. That he is fallible. That perfection is unobtainable. And now the weight begins shifting back to the left pulled by the powers inside the earth. It's alive, this swing! A living sculpture and down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls. Such a pure feeling is the well-struck golf shot. Now the follow through to finish. Always on line. The reverse C of the Golden Bear! The steel workers' power and brawn of Carl Sandburg's. Arnold Palmer!

[Ineedaride2]

[ QUOTE ]

There are many more, they come from a book called Mulligans Rules of Golf, which I hightly recommend as easy joke reading.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I used to have that book. Lost it somewhere. The one I remember is:

THE THREE RULES OF GOLF

- Keep your head down.

- Keep your stupid head down.

- Keep your goddamn stupid head down.

[JTrout]

"Anyone want a pronto pup?"
-Neal Lancaster, after blocking one way right on the 9th at TPC Southwind.



"not yet"
caddie to his hack player. hack had hit his Drive into the thick rough, and then was stepping heavily right behind the ball (standing on one foot) mashing the rough down in a better effort of getting solid contact.
He asked the caddie, "Do you think I can hit 5 wood from here?"

[Butcho22]

[ QUOTE ]
How did you get a 13 on the xx hole?

I missed a long put for a 12!

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, forgot about that one.

[phishguy]

No clue why...
But...
"Alice!"

[Hass]

Whenever I'm playing with my members and they start bumping their ball I ask them If they need a tee.

The saying at my club stuck so now everyone says, "Need a tee" when their opponent is improving their lie.

[mattb8818]

Noonan

[Hey_Porter]

Again, from Golf in the Kingdom, after a man renounces the game of golf:
"A toast to Peter's imminent departure, and his predictable return."