So I need help....I think this could be long

miami32 · #1 04-10-2007, 07:20 PM

Over the past 3 1/2 years I've made my living via poker. I've always prided myself on not tilting, staying focused, and just being determined to win. I've been a consistent winner over that time.

Ever since this August after arriving home from the WSOP I haven't been able to play well. What's most odd is going into the WSOP I think I was playing my best. I recently won a tournament before the trip. I was crushing the 109s on party. I was really confident. I did very well in Vegas. I cashed in the only event I played and I did very well in the NL games I played in even though at the time I hadn't really played nl on a consistent basis. Once I left Vegas everything had begun to unravel. I no longer was able to concentrate anymore. I will play my best game for about 10 minutes and then I just lose focus and don't seem to care anymore. It's like the money doesn't seem to mean anything to me anymore. I'm self destructive and I'm almost 100% sure I'm depressed. I also feel like I can't commit myself to anything right now. I constantly makes plans to turn things around and then I don't do it or follow through. I know I'm clearly able to win and even dominate the games I play, yet it seems like I just don't care or try my best. Almost like I enjoy the misery now of losing and inevitbly going broke.

I'm trying to go over things I can do to improve. I've came up with going to the gym and starting a diet. But I do that for a week and then quit. I need someone to basiclly call me once a day and yell at me to get off my ass. I'm literally willing to give out my phone number to do this. I sometimes tell my friends to do this, but they don't seem to follow through with it. I'm also considering taking adderal. I don't want to get therapy, although I feel like I'm running out of hope. I'm not near sucidal, but I hate my life right now. I hate not being able to win. I feel like a total loser in every aspect of my life right now. I wanted to post this under a differnt name, but I'm hoping some of my friends will see this and try and help me. I feel like I tell people what is wrong with me but no one listens.

I'm not even sure what I'm asking for, maybe suggestions or some encouragement.

Miami32

PLOlover · #2 04-10-2007, 07:33 PM

I think you should try the 1 gallon of whole milk to drink in an hour thing, video it, and post it so we can watch.

I really think it will help.

WMB · #3 04-10-2007, 07:43 PM

take a break. do something else you enjoy for awhile. when you come back, play in games that challenge you. play with players that are very good and challenge yourself to beat them.. maybe learn a different poker game, or play a game your not as good at and try to master it.

miami32 · #4 04-10-2007, 07:51 PM

That's a solid idea. Something that require my sole focus.

TrainHardDieHard · #5 04-10-2007, 07:56 PM

WMB's suggestion is a good route to solving your problem. Take a good 5-6 days off playing poker. Dont even read anything about and try not to think about it. You'll find that when you come back you'll be refreshed, focused, and able to make better decisions at the table. More importantly, you'll WANT to play. Try to have fun doing it.

killphilNI · #6 04-10-2007, 07:58 PM

Ask yourself where you want to be one year from now. Both in poker and in your personal life. Then work out how to get there. You won't be able to do it all at once so chop it up into small pieces and set yourself daily/weekly/monthly goals. Challenge yourself. Taking breaks and trying new things are also good as they can change your perspective. All in all though, try to be realistic and don't be too hard on yourself.

BJK · #7 04-10-2007, 08:15 PM

I know you said that you don't want to do it, but I strongly recommend seeing an addictions counselor. I suspect that your WSOP trip was something you greatly looked forward to. It allowed you a chance to show off your poker talents, and the experience will be hard to replace (at least until next year's WSOP). You might be going through a hangover period, but I suspect the problem runs deeper. It's up to you to find out what the problem is.

goodgrief · #8 04-11-2007, 12:42 AM

If you suffer from clinical depression there is really no alternative other than getting an RX for one of the SSRIs and crossing your fingers that you have a form of depression that responds to drug therapy. Good luck.

uminchu · #9 04-14-2007, 04:55 PM

addictions counselor not a bad idea, but I think a counselor in general is the best approach as your problem sounds like it stems from not just a gambling problem (3 and a half years of solid winning is definitely impressive) but perhaps you desire more then just money in life.

Being a ship it holla ball is not the only way to be happy in life, in fact many of these people are quite unhappy and so they drink in excess much too often and develop large drug problems. I myself have been a decently solid winner over the last four years (enough to not need a job while finishing college and being able to have the free time i want to hang out with friends and party and still maintain a decent gpa). But after i graduated i went poker full time and could only handle it for about three months before I got so tired of it and job at the gym i worked out at, which didnt pay well but was rewarding none the less, and have spent the last 8 months training for special forces for the USAF and leave for that in 8 days.
People need goals in life to be happy, and often MAKING money is just not a goal that fulfills people enough to make them happy.
With all that said, eating well and working out will help a lot if you can stick to it, and like poker and everything else that makes you feel good it becomes quite addictive, i personally get quite cranky if i go on a couple days of eating poorly and not working out now, so try that and see a counselor if your conditions do not imporve

tagg · #10 04-14-2007, 07:50 PM

These are just my thoughts based on reading your post, take it or leave it as you wish.

We can really truly be happy if we are following our own heart, to me it sounds like you've been doing that for a long time now and really learned poker and acquired enough knowledge to be a really good poker player. Maybe your sudden disinterest in poker is you hearts way of telling you that you have a new path to follow, you're done with committing yourself to poker. Have you thought about what other things you would like to do?

If you would have a month left to live, what would you do right now? What if you had a year? Would you still be playing poker and dedicating yourself to it, or would you do something else? Listen to your heart and try to feel what your next step should be, maybe it is poker, maybe it is something completely else.