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  #211  
Old 08-22-2007, 12:19 PM
psuasskicker psuasskicker is offline
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Location: More than meets the eye
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
an old norm macdonald weekend update line that i use as a joke because you can always say you just read about it:

"In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his eight-year-old daughter to take the wheel of his car, and an accident ensued that damaged seven other cars and injured six people. Which once again proves my theory--women can't drive."

[/ QUOTE ]


Norm will always be the best anchor SNL's Weekend Update ever had

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm guessing you're like 17 and weren't around for any of the other, far funnier weekend update crews. MacDonald is maybe fifth on that list...maybe.

Chevy Chase
Jane Curtin & Dan Akroyd (Jane, you ignorant sloot...)
Dennis Miller
Kevin Nealon

Fey and Fallon are up there too.

- C -
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  #212  
Old 08-22-2007, 12:58 PM
pokerbobo pokerbobo is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
I'm in a bad mood, somebody post more jokes.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just for you... my 999th post is:

A skinny white guy goes to prison. He walks into his cell and sees his cellie is a 350 pound black man.

The big black man says "sooo, does you wanna be da husband, or does you wanna be da wife?"

The white guy says " I want to be the husband."

Black guy replies "Good, now we got dat settled, so get over here and suck yo wife's dick"
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  #213  
Old 08-22-2007, 03:36 PM
gorie gorie is offline
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Location: it\'s like a puzzle with pans, if you think about it.
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

why is idaho so famous for it's potatos ?



because it's grapefruit crop is substandard!!
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  #214  
Old 08-22-2007, 05:18 PM
Entity Entity is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: DeucesCracked!
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking.

"Magic Beer", he says

She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says,"That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window,flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real [censored] when you're drunk!"
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  #215  
Old 08-23-2007, 07:46 PM
potato potato is offline
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Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza place and says "Make me one with everything."
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  #216  
Old 08-23-2007, 09:15 PM
nath nath is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Tone
Posts: 22,162
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

[ QUOTE ]
I'm guessing you're like 17 and weren't around for any of the other, far funnier weekend update crews. MacDonald is maybe fifth on that list...maybe.

Chevy Chase
Jane Curtin & Dan Akroyd (Jane, you ignorant sloot...)
Dennis Miller
Kevin Nealon

Fey and Fallon are up there too.

- C -

[/ QUOTE ]
lol?

maybe the first two. maybe.
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  #217  
Old 09-03-2007, 10:13 AM
ozyman ozyman is offline
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: NYC
Posts: 415
Default Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke

A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business trip or vacation?" "Business, Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago," she states.

Whoa!!! He swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer", she says. "I use my experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really," he says, swallowing hard, "what myths are those?"

"Well," she explains, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Greek descent. Surpisingly, the most compatible of all lovers are the Irish."

Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!". "Tonto," the man says, as he extends his hand. "Tonto Papadopoulos but my friends call me Paddy."
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