jokes you've made IRL that flopped - Page 30

otnemem · #**291** 10-30-2007, 05:16 PM

In high school, we used to have a Halloween costume contest in the school's courtyard. My senior year, there were about 500 people in the courtyard watching. As they announce the entrant's name and costume, the person prances out in front of the school in their costume and everyone cheers (or yells indiscriminate disparaging comments, if you're my friend Jim).

Announcer: Next up - Rachel Klefer as a pig!
Jim (without looking): BECAUSE SHE IS ONE!!!!
*stunned silence*
Jim's friend Tommy (hushed): Um, Jim, she has Downs Syndrome.
Jim: KILL ME NOW!

It was really, really awkward.

bengon · #**292** 10-30-2007, 05:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Today in my Polisci discussion, we were discussing cases of individual wars. GSI starts off by asking "Who were the parties in the American Revolution?" It was kinda ambiguous as to if she meant Britain vs. US or the internal parties, so nobody responded first off. She then went on to the War of 1812, and she said "You all know when that was right?" Next one was the Spanish-American war. I said "So who was in that one again?" Silence.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would venture to say most people couldn't identify what countries were involved in the Spanish-American War.

JaBlue · #**293** 10-30-2007, 06:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
most of the stuff I say that I think will be absolutely hilarious people don't get.

The stuff I say that I think is a bit funny people crack up at. Its so weird.

[/ QUOTE ]
Absolutely. Whenever I say something that is just a standard joke, that I'm just doing because it's so obvious and somebody has to say it, that gets the laugh. But when I think of something brilliant, unique, and obtuse, I get stares.

[/ QUOTE ]this might be the problem

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah i prefer my jokes to be acute

[/ QUOTE ]

this would definitely qualify for this thread

Sephus · #**294** 10-30-2007, 06:43 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
most of the stuff I say that I think will be absolutely hilarious people don't get.

The stuff I say that I think is a bit funny people crack up at. Its so weird.

[/ QUOTE ]
Absolutely. Whenever I say something that is just a standard joke, that I'm just doing because it's so obvious and somebody has to say it, that gets the laugh. But when I think of something brilliant, unique, and obtuse, I get stares.

[/ QUOTE ]this might be the problem

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah i prefer my jokes to be acute

[/ QUOTE ]

this would definitely qualify for this thread

[/ QUOTE ]

it's not even a joke. of course you want your jokes to be sharp not dull.

chopsticks · #**295** 10-30-2007, 06:56 PM

Me and my buddy went to a bar and were pretty wasted already when we got there. The place was full of russian women on vacation in Finland and we were like yeah, this place has potential. We just dance around with them and noticed how bad their english was so if we wanted to score with russian women we had to do the preplay non verbally.

So while we were ordering drinks at the counter one of these russian ladies came standing next to us ignoring us totally. She was hot, about 8 imo and 9 because she was russian, and my friend started staring at her. She noticed this and my friend instantly said in finnish to her something like "youre hot, wanna hang out with me in my bed?". She didn't understand of course and looked him like "how stupid are you, dont you get it that I'm russian and dont understand finnish?" My friend took a deep breath and said with a much louder voice than before, again in finnish, but with a russian accent similar when theyre speaking finnish or english the same thing. After a small silence he got bitchslapped and all the finnish customers looked at him like he was a total douche. I laughed furiously.

None of those russian ladies joined us that night.

wheeler · #**296** 10-30-2007, 09:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
One time, Vivaldi heckled me at one of my concerts and everyone laughed. So the next day at his concert, I detuned that bitch's violin. No one thought it was funny. I just sat there in my balcony laughing.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is brilliant.

KungFuSandwich · #**297** 10-30-2007, 09:43 PM

At the Georgia Florida game in 2003 someone yelled "Pollack is a virgin" My roomate stood on his seat an yelled "No he's not-because he F---'s David Green in the A--."

Crickets and horrified women.

L'ennemi. · #**298** 10-30-2007, 10:46 PM

10 years ago, I was going to a French German school
Basically, we were learning a lot of german and they were some classes for the German kids leaving in Paris and basically the school is supposed to be a symbol of the relationship of the two countries.
It was during my first month at this school. Our teacher was explaining the fire drill. We were supposed to wait in line but behind the germans. SO I yelled " Cool, if they're is a fire the Germans are gonna fry first this time".
Actually, I did not use the word german but a racial slur taht was used during WWII.
I was eleven at the time. Whole class went silent and I got a big lecture about history and innapropriates jokes.

Fabian · #**299** 10-30-2007, 10:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Driver's ed class and we're watching one of the standard anti-drunk driving videos complete with depictions of real-life carnage, etc. The narrator says something like "...lives are ruined, resources are needlessly used, and families are torn apart." I blurt out "Literally!"

Apparently the rest of class had taste.

[/ QUOTE ]

wowowowowowow.

ADLinden · #**300** 10-30-2007, 11:03 PM

I was in a dorm room with a couple of guys and one girl. This girl and I routinely insult each other in a joking fashion, nothing too bad though.
So the one guy was talking about how you can tell if a girl is hot or not by if they have a "pretty voice" on the phone.
The girl goes, "Well, I have a pretty voice"
I respond, "Well now we know that theory is bull [censored]."

Nothing.