EDF Wedding Planner Guide

[DosXX]

Hey all,

I'm getting married summer (looks like June 20/21) 2009. We just started researching venues and making a preliminary guest list. I think it would be awesome to get some general wedding planning advice going. My own situation is we are young and are trying to stay around 12K, no more than 15K. Inviting ~100, expect ~80-85 at this point. Beach wedding in SoCal.

What does everyone think about Sunday weddings. Its cheaper for the venues (and maybe the vendors?), but I really want to throw a big kickoff bash and don't want a lame reception either.

So lets get this ball started.

[Josem]

Saturdays are more expensive because the ratio of supply/demand is different than Sundays.

There is more demand for Saturdays because they are better.

Thus, you need to consider the value to you of holding a reception on a Saturday, and look at the comparable prices. For something as personal as a wedding, which requires value judgments on your behalf, you'll need to determine your own values.

[M2d]

at my wedding, we held down the cost by working an arrangement with the restaurant where we supplied our own wine and beer and they provided the glasses (essentially, we paid a flat corkage fee). since no one at a wedding is really going to notice what brands they're drinking (as long as it's not swill), we could buy cheaper decent wines by the case and our own beer in kegs to save. an added benefit was that, since there was no hard alcohol served, no one got totally wasted, but most had a nice buzz on.

[Los Feliz Slim]

I was married on a Sunday and it was great. People coming from out of town would've taken Friday off for the rehearsal dinner anyway, so no big deal to take Monday off instead.

My biggest piece of advice is to resist every temptation to get stressed about it. This is a party to celebrate being in love and starting a life together, letting annoyances get you or your fiance down would be a crime. One way my wife and I did this was to exclude family from planning. Of course, that means you have to pay for it yourself, but IMO it's well worth it. Also, if you say "Thanks but no thanks" to the offer of money, they'll probably give you money anyway and you'll keep control over your party.

Depending on where in SoCal you are we got our flowers from a place in Commerce that was super-cheap and really good. I think we spent like $1800 on flowers for a formal 130-person wedding, I know people who spent 4x as much on similar flowers.

Just remember: it's your party. How people dress, what the music is like, the food, etc etc etc, it's all up to you. Don't let other people tell you how your celebration is supposed to be.

Congratulations.

[SamIAm]

[ QUOTE ]
at my wedding, we held down the cost by working an arrangement with the restaurant where we supplied our own wine and beer and they provided the glasses (essentially, we paid a flat corkage fee). since no one at a wedding is really going to notice what brands they're drinking (as long as it's not swill), we could buy cheaper decent wines by the case and our own beer in kegs to save. an added benefit was that, since there was no hard alcohol served, no one got totally wasted, but most had a nice buzz on.

[/ QUOTE ]
See, at my wedding we had different choices. The venue was pretty restrictive, so they let us choose whether we paid by the glass or by the guest, and whether we had beerwine, beerwine&liquor, or good beerwine&liquor.

For the paying, we went with per guest. Even disregarding the economics calculation, knowing what we were going to pay BEFORE we paid it (instead of being surprised afterwards) + not having to trust the bartender not to swipe any booze = lower stress.

For the booze, we went with liquor but not the top shelf liquor. We wanted guests to be able to order what they wanted, but nobody's pompous enough to get snippy about brand at a wedding.

[ QUOTE ]
I was married on a Sunday and it was great. People coming from out of town would've taken Friday off for the rehearsal dinner anyway, so no big deal to take Monday off instead.

[/ QUOTE ]I got married on Labor Day weekend, so we had easy travel automatically. My parents were married on Independence Day weekend, which is just as convenient, but a little ironic. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

edit: Congrats.

[BretWeir]

We had a Sunday wedding and it worked great. We saved a good amount on the base per-person price for the reception, and used the extra money to pay for some extra amenities we wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise -- full open bar, a really good band, etc.

We had a lot of out-of-town guests, and our impression is that it wasn't a huge inconvenience for them. We scheduled the ceremony in the very early afternoon, and the reception began a little earlier than usual, so people who needed to be on the road to get home that night were able to do so.

A couple of general tips that helped us out: I looked at it as the biggest party I'd ever have the chance to throw, and just concentrated on doing whatever we could to make it fun for the guests and for us. It sounds like you have this attitude too, which is great.

We were paid almost the whole bill ourselves, so we didn't feel any obligation to do certain things just because other people told us to. It made things financially tight, but reduced stress tremendously. If you can swing it, I'd highly recommend this approach.

Also, make sure you take some time that day to appreciate and participate in the fun. I've been in wedding parties where everything was (over)scheduled down to the last minute, and it's no fun for anybody. I told all our photographers, etc. that my wife and I would be "untouchable" for two hours during the reception so we could just enjoy our meals, have some drinks with friends, etc.

[MissT74]

Share!!

What I mean by that is find other couples that are getting married (through the florist or bakery, etc etc) and split costs of items for the wedding. Example: They have wedding on Saturday night and you get all the decorations and flowers to use on Sunday. It's only the next day so it's not like the flowers are dying already and you chip in less since you're getting the "leftovers".

Sounds corny once I typed it out, but trust me, this is something that all the Wedding Planner's suggest to save money.

T

[wadea]

[ QUOTE ]
Share!!

What I mean by that is find other couples that are getting married (through the florist or bakery, etc etc) and split costs of items for the wedding. Example: They have wedding on Saturday night and you get all the decorations and flowers to use on Sunday. It's only the next day so it's not like the flowers are dying already and you chip in less since you're getting the "leftovers".

Sounds corny once I typed it out, but trust me, this is something that all the Wedding Planner's suggest to save money.

T

[/ QUOTE ]

If your fiancee will go for this, you've got yourself a real keeper. My wife is great, but there's no way she would have allowed this for our wedding.

[DosXX]

We are getting a little help from our parents, although we are footing the bill ourselves. I'm a grad student so we are on a tight budget and definitely don't want to put ourselves in debt just to get married.

I think MissT74's idea is great and we'll see if we can make it happen. If you had a Sunday wedding, did you have an early ceremony (12:00?) and a lunch-type reception? Or typical night-time reception just on a Sunday?

How did everyone go about finding venues? When you looked at a possible venue, what are the types of things I need to ask about?

[James Boston]

I've never been married, but have a little wedding experiece in various capacities of "working" at weddings (muician, videographer, soundman, etc...). Also, my mother is a musician and has probably played at close to 1,000 weddings.

My only advice is pay for stuff or don't have it. In other words, don't have your fiance's cousin's friend sing for free, or whatever. I've seen these types of things backfire more than once.