Life Lesson Learnt...was my course of action ok though ?

[iambusto]

I have read here time and time again that you NEVER lend money to your friends. I didnt follow this advice when it came to my ex best friend. I am not posting this to ask for advice but rather would you have done the same thing.

Cliffs Notes:
Lend best friend $2700 over the course of 1 year for school, rent payments, car payments, poker losses. Friend keeps delaying paying back claiming govt. screwing up his checks (2 big ones). I take drastic action of telling his debt to his gf and breaking up friendship at same time.

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I met my best friend at the local Indian casino poker room almost 2 years back around oct 2005. we played similarly and discussed poker and became great friends. He had just gotten out of army after being injured with an IED in Iraq and got a purple heart for it. He was having trouble coping with civilian life and i didnt have any friends.

His family (step dad was against him moving in his mom's house) so he moved in with his gf. over the course of 1 year, i lent him money to help out with car payments, poker losses, general stuff. The total amount came out to be 2700$.

When I lent him the money, i was running good so didnt worry too much about when he would be paying me back. and I trusted him. around december 2006, he was supposed to get 2 checks. A big one from National Guard (he signed up again so he could get out of financial mess) and another from VA (for his Iraq related injury). Whenever I asked him about the checks, he told me about problems in the Govt's end and about delay in getting his check. He also gets paid 1000$ from the Army to go to school and I was expecting he would pay me back from that but he said he was barely scraping through and would pay me back when he got the 2 checks.

Meanwhile, I was going through a downswing and was getting irritated. I decided to call him every now and then about the money and he started avoiding me altogether. we went on about 3 weeks not talking (around the time when he shouldve recieved the checks). Finally I've had it. I called up his gf and left a message. He called me back saying why did i want to talk to his gf. I told him that I wanted to find out from his gf whether he had any intention of ever paying me back. My friend became indignant and accused me of not acting as a friend. The amount he owed me was between us and the gf didnt know and it would cause problems for him (especially 1500$ was to cover gambling losses that jeopardized his share of rent payment). I told him that i had decided that i was not going to hound him any more for money and was moving on. he regretted my decision and told me he would call back.

The gf called back next day asking what was happening. I told her the whole story - his gambling losses, his missed car payments that I helped pay etc etc. She was shocked as she had no idea about these. I assured her that I didnt expect her to help me out in the situation and told her that i was done being his friend anyway and was moving on.


2 days back, my buddy sent me his final message saying that he didnt think i acted right about the money. in his words, "I sacrificed a friendship over 2700$. he thanked me for helping him out in times of distress and he wouldnt have made it without me. he regrets that i think he abused our friendship". He concluded saying he was leaving town for National Guard and promised that I would get my 2700$ one day.


Question:

1) Did i act right in telling the gf about the money issue. I knew fully well that I was breaking our friendship but I was pissed off as having to say goodbye to almost 3 grand. I didnt want him to get away with it.

2) should I even respond to his message. I have moved on and i dont expect the money anyway ever. I have learnt my lesson. So what would be the point of answering now?


3) Assuming the fact that you loaned your best friend and he didnt pay you back, would you still keep such a friendship?