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#51
08-07-2007, 05:52 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
Nice one. You basically went there, did it and got the polo shirt. Awesome.
Also nice to get an intro into the local vocabulary, had more or less figured the ...aments thing out, but it is nice to know for sure. I wouldn't want to end up in any predicaments. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] 
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#54
08-07-2007, 01:15 PM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
March, Hey, you promised the conclusion, not a cliffhanger. All, Ban until completion? [/ QUOTE ] Now you're going to nit up on me. It'll still be done in less time than BBB's. And besides, in case you haven't noticed, I haven't posted anywhere else since Thursday morning. So I'm already on a self-imposed ban. Nyah.
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#56
08-08-2007, 05:09 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
[ QUOTE ]
Never ban Marchron. Genius storytellers should be exempt from ban. [/ QUOTE ] I agree. And now, the finale (I promise). FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORT DAY 3.79 When we last we spoke, I was on psychotic neutron-bomb tilt after raise/folding way the best hand in a ginormous pot. After rejecting my next blind, I logged out and did the only thing I knew how to do, flee into the warm embrace of the one who is always there for me. No, not a girlfriend (I'm single), nor Jesus (LOL, God plays dice, Stephen Hawking says so). I'm talkin' about the buffet, LDO. <font color="white">"LDO" is "Like, Duh, Obviously," invented in OOT (Other Other Topics) as a replacement for "QFT," or "Quoted For Truth." And it's like, duh, obviously the buffet because I'm a raging fatass, but those days are dwindling Link 1 Also, there's video of me celebrating my weight loss here: Link 2</font> Brag: after 2 AM the buffet is $7 instead of $18. Beat: they throw out all the dinner items. Variance: they introduce breakfast foods. <font color="white">These are what the "BBV" in the BBV Forum and BBV4Life Community stand for. And please tell me you didn't fall for that rickroll again. Jeez.</font> While in line at the make-your-own-omelette station, I strike up a conversation with the guy in front of me, who was skeptical about the electronic poker. I did my best to reassure him that it wasn't all rigged to juice pots so Four Winds would get more in rake; since it's 10% to $3, rake is maxed out at $30, and even at 3/6 that's only 5 BB, so they wouldn't need to rig up coolers to get there. In fact, I probably saw more pots get to $30 preflop than I did pots that never got to $30 at all. Overhearing all this was Keyshanna, who was also skeptical about the tables, and also eating alone. Evidently her cousin was running way hot at craps and was up about $500. Hmmm, I think I have plans for the rest of the night now. And also, she was there while visiting family in South Bend. This has potential. Keyshanna leaves before I'm done, and I tell her I'll meet her and her cousin at the craps table. She asks me where the nearest ladies' room is, I tell her in a way that doesn't involve giant blue rings of light, and she left her jacket there. I wait outside the ladies' room for like 20 minutes, because God only knows what women do in there all night, but anyway, she thanks me for retrieving her jacket. I have to go back to the buffet to fetch my hat and sunglasses, and when I make it to the craps area they're gone. Hmm, I'll play a little and wait for them. The only $5 table they're running this time of night is a variant colloquially known as "Crapless Craps," where all numbers are a point except 7. Of course, I didn't know this when I put my pass line bet down, so when I roll a yo on my come-out I think I'm getting paid. LOLZ sorry no, now you gotta roll 11 as your point, and of course I don't, nor do I hit my hard 4. I don't need an odds chart to tell me that this is a bad table edge-wise, and now I'm down to $31 in chips. I need to kill some time until Keyshanna and her cousin come back, preferably something that won't cost me the rest of my money. It's Pai Gow time! The rest of my buddies are gone. Oh well, guess I won't be getting any more free drinks. Meh, I'll manage. Two more things about Pai Gow that will factor in here: first, there's one joker in the deck, but it's not wild: if you can't use it to fill in a straight or flush, then it's automatically an Ace. Second, there's an optional bonus bet that pays you if you have a straight or better regardless of if you win the hand, or even if you have to break it up to make your best two-way hand. Generally, bonus bets on these kind of games have extraordinarily high house odds, so during my other sessions I never bet them. But on my first hand, I put out a $10 bet and use my loose $1 chip to play the bonus, and lo and behold I make a straight. I push the hand because my "low" hand was trash, like J3 or something, but I get paid 2-1 on my bonus bet. So the next hand I let that dollar ride, and I make three of a kind. Again I push because the house cobbles together a better low hand, but I get paid 3-1 on my trips. WTF, dealer, trips pays more than a straight? "Yeah, three of a kind beats a straight in Pai Gow." O RLY? "Yes, the joker means straights become easier to make." I see. Ship the 3-1 then. Next hand, same dollar rides and I make Sevens full of Kings. I split it up for 777xx as my "High" hand and KK as my "Low," and I think I actually won that hand plus got paid 5-1 on the bonus. Next hand, same dollar rides and I hit the motherlode: JOKER 10[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 9[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 9[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 6[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. That's a straight flush, but if I play it that way I have T9 as my low hand. You're allowed to ask the dealer what the house way would be, and she recommended I play the straight flush. You're kidding, and leave T9 in front? Eff that, give me 99865 and AT. She pulls AK for her low, giving me a push, but having T9 in front is an insta-push, anyway. Pay me 50-1 for the straight flush plz. It went on like this for a while, with me making little to nothing off my actual hands but kicking ass through bonuses, and I wound up with enough money to stake myself at a $10 craps table. I get back to the craps pit and Keyshanna and her cousin are there. Not only are there no other people around, the $500 they were supposedly up is also missing. "We lost it all." Wow, yeah, okay. It turns out they're pretty bad at craps; they're just luckboxes with boobs. It's Keyshanna's roll, and inspired by her tales of being the shooter while her cousin was the bettor, I try to put a $1 wager on "All Or Nothing," a side-bet that the shooter will roll every single number before hitting a 7, but she rolls before I can lay it down and my bet is voided. Of course, she winds up rolling every number before her eventual seven-out, and I miss out on the 175-1 payout. Booo. It's now my turn to roll, and I put an All Or Nothing on myself even though I'm a notoriously bad shooter. I roll 4 for the point. Sweet, $2 hard 4 plz, and I hit my 4 the hard way to get paid on my pass line and 7-1 on my hardway. My next come-out is also a 4, but I roll it easy. Meh, pay the man. My next come-out is again a 4, and I hit it hard again to get paid twice more. So then I roll a 10 for my point and seven out immediately, missing my All Or Nothing by just 2, 3, and 12. I'm on such a hot roll that I miss that Keyshanna and her cousin have left me for the blackjack table behind me. Blackjack, evidently, is Keyshanna's game (shut up) but her cousin, whose name is Jacquise (and there's no way I spelled that right) knows nothing about it. What they're trying to do is run up some money for Jacquise, which she takes back to the craps table during the shoe change and tries to win back what she blew. She might have stood a chance if she bet smart, like $10 on the pass line with $40 odds behind it, but she'd always use that $40 on dumb bets like hops and horns and blow it all before the blackjack dealer could even finish reloading the shoe. It turns out they're better at blackjack than craps. The table they've picked, with a dealer who looked remarkably like John Malkovich, is hot for everyone except one older Chinese lady in a Phil Laak hoodie. I take her seat when she gets pissed off and leaves and my little luckbox girls make me $100 over the next couple hours. I probably could have made more if I'd practiced smarter bankroll management and bet sizing, but all I was really thinking about was ordering drinks and SIIHP. <font color="white">"SIIHP" is another OOTism, meaning "Stick It In Her Pooper," i.e. I wanted to have anal sex with them, though not necessarily exclusively.</font> Oh, and also sometime during the night I had to fetch Keyshanna's jacket, again; this time she left it in the poker room looking for me, probably at the same time I was at the craps pit looking for them. LOL, chasingourowntailaments. Eventually, the rest of their family finds them and they leave, and I'm too tired and buzzed to remember to get their numbers. Mostly tired, though; they get off at the third floor of the parking garage, and I go to the fourth floor to catch a catnap in my car. It's just after daybreak, and a light rain is falling. END OF DAY 3 START OF DAY 4 I wake up a couple hours later when the temperature gets so hot that it makes my car a sauna since I had to leave the windows up. After my ignominious exit from the poker room, then my semi-wild time the night before (shut up, I'm not much of a party animal), I don't really feel like going back to the 3/6 grind. In fact, what I really wanted to do on this trip was get in some 10/20, but unfortunately the money I was going to use for that shot never came in through ePassporte. What I need is a way to run up a 'roll for that on the cheap. Hmmmm . . . I think it's time for a live 15-BB challenge! <font color="white">A 15-BB challenge, where "BB" is "big bets," is an idea that allows us to take shots at bigger games with minimal bankroll risk. The idea is that you take 15 big bets at say, .25/.50 online, which would be $7.50, and play with that. When you make 15 BB for the next level, which would be $15 for .50/1, you play there, then $30 for 1/2, etc. Micro poster bennyhana once ran $30 into more than $1300 doing one of these.</font> This should be a piece of cake. Start with $90 at 3/6, I can win $60 there in like three hands, that gets me to $150 for 5/10, then from there $150 more gets me to 10/20. No problem. I get seated at 3/6 to the left of a fellow in a wheelchair named Jim. Normally I don't like when people tell me their life stories at a poker table, but Jim was an exception. His wife passed away last winter, and all he does now is use a little bit of his retirement money going to card rooms and playing low-limit Hold'em. I get seated without posting, watch him throw gobs of money into pots with like middle pair, winning some and losing others. Then I get JJ UTG, raise, and Jim defends his BB. Flop Q-high and he check/raises me. Not wanting to repeat the error from last night, I call down and he shows Q2o. Nice hand, Jim. Next hand, I get 95s in the big blind. Jim's finger hovers over the raise button and I beg him not to. He obliges. The flop comes 876 and I pay Jim back for the previous hand. He took it well. Next hand, I get 22 in the SB and complete. Flop is QJ2, all [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]s, and I lead it right out. I get a couple callers, and Jim leans next to me and says, "Good thing those were all diamonds, or I might have called with pocket fives." Sure enough the turn is a non-[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 5, which means Jim basically hit his one-outer after folding. I surreptitiously hand the cocktail waitress $2 for the beer she just brought him. River is another non-[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] and my set of deuces take it down. Thanks, Jim. Next hand, I get QTo on the button, limp in, flop Broadway, and everyone pays me off. Okay, I was wrong, it took me like six hands to make $150, not three. I go up to the kiosk to put my name on the list for 5/10. There isn't one. Okay, I'll start it, hopefully it'll fill up soon. So, naturally, I get back to my 3/6 table and it all falls to hell. I get AA in the SB, raise the 157 limpers, announce that I'm betting the flop in the dark, and eventually I get cracked by T9s on a board like 9xQJK. Ni han sir. Next hand, QQ loses to 88 when he flops a set. Ni han sir. I lose some more, the table gets down to 4 people and breaks, with the other three going to one table and me to the other. At the new table I buy in with the $91 I have left. W00t, one dollar ahead. When I'm there, someone sees that I'm the toolbag with sunglasses and ten white chips from the 2+2 thread. Evidently three guys there are lurkers. Sup bro to you guys. <font color="white">"Sup bro?" is the greeting used for 2+2'ers to identify each other in real-life situations. This is named after legendary poster sup bro, who was All-County in '95 with 15 tackles for losses.</font> I introduce myself and get the chance to say some things I've only ever typed before, like "BUSTO," "lol donkaments" and "SHIP IT!" Eventually, the seat on my immediate left is filled by someone calling himself "Catfish," and he sees my name and says "Hey, you're the Irish Mike? From 2+2?" Jesus, has everyone been reading this? (Besides, after some research, I've learned I'm not "the" Irish Mike; someone on RGP has been using that name for years.) I ask if he's a member here, too, and he says no, he just Googled this thread. Sweet. Now that I've been outed as a celebrity, the cards start treating me with some respect. I hit three full houses on that table over the next few hours, once with 77 on a 766 flop to wipe out a nice lady who'd survived every time she was all-in before that. Then 88 boated up on an 833 flop and I beat the pants off a guy named Bryan whom I'd seen for the last couple of days. Lastly I had JJ, flopped a set of Jacks, then turned the boat, getting about five calls the whole way down for my biggest pot (in limit) of the weekend, $83. At one point the table had me, two Johns, two Franks, and two Richards (and one of the 2+2 lurkers was also a Richard, though he picked a pseudonym for his screenname). But the dynamic of the table changed when Tina showed up. Tina is Vietnamese (I nearly shot Diet Coke out my nose when she actually said "ni han sir"), and came with money to burn. At one point she went nine bets on the river with one of the Franks on a board of 82xJ2. Frank actually was the one who called to close the action, showing JJ; Tina had 82. She reloaded and put more on her card, but she moved from my immediate right to two to my left. Boooooo. Eventually, Catfish and the three lurkers all left, so with the superLAG in bad position to me, I bailed, too, having never made 5/10 because the list never filled up. Oh well. I cashed out at the cage and nearly got shorted $100, lol countaments. The wait was finally less than an hour at the main cashier cage, so I cashed out there, too. Over the buffet I counted it up: $528 from the poker room and $175 from everywhere else, for a $428 profit in poker and about $100-ish from miscellaneous games, minus tokes, drinks, etc. that I paid for in chips. Oh, and one PokerPro shirt. Thanks, dude; it's a little tight. Told ya so. (And I wasn't kidding about you hiring me, either; e-mail me at q f marsh 6 4 =at= yahoo.com, no spaces LDO.) So that about wraps it up here. If you want to experience computer poker in a B&M, I really can't recommend Four Winds enough. I'll probably arrange another big trip whenever the WPT comes into town, and if you're in the area some weekend, shoot me a PM with a couple weeks' notice and we'll ship some sherb together. Holla!
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#57
08-08-2007, 05:47 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
Awesomenimosity, indeed, sir.
What is it with americans and these odd constructed names like Beyonce, Rihanna, Keyshanna or Jacquise or whatever, but I am just an old man, distanced from the ways of nowadays. But WTF not getting their numbers? Dude that is a no-no if there ever was one. But they will probably be reading your essay as the whole world apparently is looking in on this forum anyways, they will probably PM you all their personal details in a short while. Could I have Jacquise if I swear to learn how to spell her name?
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#58
08-08-2007, 08:43 AM
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Re: MARCHRON\'S FOUR WINDS TRIP REPORTS
wow, excellent work sir. BBB has his work cut out for him to top this w/ this w/ends foxwoods report, especially since he won't have davidcaments to provide material.
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