Girls and choice of words

[Lurker.]

First of all, sorry if this is the wrong forum. I didn't post this in OOT 'cause OOT is full of smart asses with one liners.

okay so i got this girls number the other day that i dont really know well (pretty much got her number the first time i talked to her). Anyway she seemed into me, so i asked her number blah blah blah. So i text her the next day (mostly just do get my number in her phone), and we talk via text messages for a bit.

Basically I'm asking what certain things she does mean:

a)whyning about some annoying guy

I found this kind of annoying (i really dont care how annoying this dude is), but why is she telling me this?

b)I asked her what she was up to the next day, and she said she wasnt sure but she'd let me know. Later the next day, she texted me and said: "meant to call you sorry bud i'm at my cottage and can't hang out 'till monday"

When i said i had to go, she said "k, peace"

the "bud" and the "peace" makes me think she is interested in just a friendship....thoughts?

c) she randomly texts me tonight asking me what a good scary movie is.

Basically i'm unsure of what this girl wants. Sorry for the long and rambling post.

[Dominic]

when a girl talks to you about another guy, it's girl-code for "I'm not interested in you romantically." She probably thinks you're cool and all, and would be fun to hang out with. If this is okay with you, roll with it. If you're interested in her romantically/sexually the only thing you can do to change her mind is to be up front about it. Ask her out on a DATE. Make sure she knows what you want. There is nothing bad about making your intentions clear.

Being her "friend" will give you about a 1 in 1000 chance of having it go further.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
First of all, sorry if this is the wrong forum. I didn't post this in OOT 'cause OOT is full of smart asses with one liners.

okay so i got this girls number the other day that i dont really know well (pretty much got her number the first time i talked to her). Anyway she seemed into me, so i asked her number blah blah blah. So i text her the next day (mostly just do get my number in her phone), and we talk via text messages for a bit.

Basically I'm asking what certain things she does mean:

a)whyning about some annoying guy

I found this kind of annoying (i really dont care how annoying this dude is), but why is she telling me this?

b)I asked her what she was up to the next day, and she said she wasnt sure but she'd let me know. Later the next day, she texted me and said: "meant to call you sorry bud i'm at my cottage and can't hang out 'till monday"

When i said i had to go, she said "k, peace"

the "bud" and the "peace" makes me think she is interested in just a friendship....thoughts?

c) she randomly texts me tonight asking me what a good scary movie is.

Basically i'm unsure of what this girl wants. Sorry for the long and rambling post.

[/ QUOTE ]


a) this could mean anything. Like some girls will do this when they are nervous, some will do it to keep you at a distance while getting to know you, some want you to empathize.

b) to me this sort of sounds like she's keeping you at a distance but definitely wants to be friends. "k peace" wow, what the hell does that mean? Sounds sorta stupid. lol. I'm curious to know what everyone else thinks.

c) huh. This sort of sounds like either (i) she thinks of you as a friend and wants you to suggest a movie, or (ii) she actually likes you and wants a dumb excuse for contacting you.

God this girl's confusing! I was no help at all was I? It's impossible to know what she wants.


k, peace

[Lurker.]

yeah, i had the same thoughts as you (on a dumber level). It was mostly the "bud" that threw me off. I really didnt think the whyning meant much....but what do i know.
kpeace.

[SNOWBALL]

Lurker wanted me to add that she's 18-19. He's busy playing way too many tables.

Also, the texts were sent while she had a lot of free time. IMO, if she was texting while she was otherwise engaged/busy, that's morel likely to mean she's into him. As is, it's ambiguous.

Dominic, I think asking this girl on a date is a lame idea. Girls who are 18-19 are usually just looking to screw/have fun. If she was 25 or older, asking her out on a date would be appropriate. I think it's better for Lurker to take her out drinking, not pay, and see what developes.

FWIW, this is canada, so taking her out to drink won't be a problem

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
It was mostly the "bud" that threw me off. I really didnt think the whyning meant much....but what do i know.
kpeace.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah the "bud" is just a little odd. I don't think I have ever called a guy "bud" (over the age of 13 anyway). Haha. Trying to picture myself doing it. Texting "bud" would definitely be easier.

[Blarg]

Don't ask a girl what she's doing. Ask her to come with you to do something. Make it as date-like as you want it to be. But give her a choice, not a quiz. A choice flatters her; a quiz needles her and makes her have to take a risk of looking bad. This is even worse when asking her in front of other people, especially her friends.

If you say whatcha doing tomorrow or on the weekend or whatever, you are in a way asking her about her social and sexual viability, because many women/girls feel bad about looking like they have nothing to do, even to strangers. They can think of that as a sign of a peculiarly and particularly feminine kind of failure, and can be judged that way by their girlfriends, too. So sometimes they might even lie and make stuff up just to sound more popular. Stuff that you don't want to hear and that gets you nowhere, like -- they're busy or even have a boyfriend. Of course, they may lie and say they're busy because they don't like you, as well, or even really have a boyfriend(this won't stop a lot of girls who like you anyway), but that's just a couple of an array of reasons you might ask that question innocently and find yourself shut out. Remember too, when a girl asks another girl that question, it might not be that innocent. You're pointing a loaded gun at a girl when you ask her if she's got time free for you at the drop of a hat.

So instead of putting her in the position of being rejectable, be a gentleman about it(kinda sucks I know) and a man about it(doesn't suck and is kinda cool once you get used to it) and put her in the position of rejecting you. Taking the pressure off her is a better way to make her comfortable and open. Ask her out, or just to come with, whatever.

And don't put it indirectly in a way that's potentially insulting when you do. Don't say, "Hey, if you're not busy, let's go to ..." or "Hey, I wanna go catch that new Simpsons movie, and if you've got nothing better to do ...." You don't need any qualifiers(it makes you look like a hesitating wimp) and neither does she(it makes her look like a loser).

[shadowtrooper]

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]

If you say whatcha doing tomorrow or on the weekend or whatever, you are in a way asking her about her social and sexual viability, because many women/girls feel bad about looking like they have nothing to do, even to strangers. They can think of that as a sign of a peculiarly and particularly feminine kind of failure, and can be judged that way by their girlfriends, too. So sometimes they might even lie and make stuff up just to sound more popular. Stuff that you don't want to hear and that gets you nowhere, like -- they're busy or even have a boyfriend. Of course, they may lie and say they're busy because they don't like you, as well, or even really have a boyfriend(this won't stop a lot of girls who like you anyway), but that's just a couple of an array of reasons you might ask that question innocently and find yourself shut out. Remember too, when a girl asks another girl that question, it might not be that innocent. You're pointing a loaded gun at a girl when you ask her if she's got time free for you at the drop of a hat.

So instead of putting her in the position of being rejectable, be a gentleman about it(kinda sucks I know) and a man about it(doesn't suck and is kinda cool once you get used to it) and put her in the position of rejecting you. Taking the pressure off her is a better way to make her comfortable and open. Ask her out, or just to come with, whatever.

And don't put it indirectly in a way that's potentially insulting when you do. Don't say, "Hey, if you're not busy, let's go to ..." or "Hey, I wanna go catch that new Simpsons movie, and if you've got nothing better to do ...." You don't need any qualifiers(it makes you look like a hesitating wimp) and neither does she(it makes her look like a loser).

[/ QUOTE ]


Wow, excellent post Blarg. Solid advice.

[revots33]

[ QUOTE ]
Dominic, I think asking this girl on a date is a lame idea. Girls who are 18-19 are usually just looking to screw/have fun.

[/ QUOTE ]

18-19 year old girls don't like to go on dates anymore? Damn I'm old.